What has helped?

Accepting uncertainty and the possibility of faithful people in the Church disagreeing, even on some very fundamental and foundational things. Once I accepted that, reconciliation and acceptance became an individual path from which others’ biases and views didn’t matter nearly as much as they do for others.

Realizing that there are reasonable intellectual arguments for any issue on both sides – that every single “issue” can be addressed from a faithful perspective just as legitimately as from a perspective of disbelief. I mean that in complete seriousness. Reaching that realization freed me to construct the intellectual and emotional argument I want to make to pursue what I desire to pursue – to “let that desire work within (me)” and produce the fruits on which I want to feast.

I found that freedom at a young age, when I didn’t have to struggle nearly as much as those who are rocked by difficulty with uncertainty as adults. I never built absolutes that shook my faith when I realized they really weren’t absolutes. I am grateful for that, but I also believe the underlying foundation is the same.

Orson, a couple of things jump out as helping me.

1st journal writing : I found that keeping a separate journal soley for my religious doubts was a huge help to me. In a related note I found writing papers extremely helpful and liberating.

2nd reading : reading helped me feel justified in my thoughts and expanded my mind to new ideas. An example this Bushman quote I found ” I am a practicing Mormon who considers himself believing but who rejects absolutist elements of the fundamentalist world view, eg, the view of Joseph Smith as omnisent or morally perfect or recieving revelation unmixed with human and cultural limitations. However I do except non-absolutist incursions of the supernatural into the human experience ” When I first read this quote it blew me away and I thought “WOW Mormons are allowed to believe that “. It really helped me shape my own views and allowed me to give myself permission to come to my own understanding of what being LDS means to me. Other helpful books include Richard Bushman ” Rough Stone Rolling ” Hugh B Browns “An Abundant Life”( this man was brilliant and miles ahead of his time ), Levi Petersons ” The Backslider” and many others I also very much enjoyed John Dehlins ” How to Stay …” essay .

3rd : these boards have been a huge help to me.

4th : helping others within the faith that struggle with testimony helps me see were the church needs people like me even if they will never admit it.

An example this Bushman quote I found ” I am a practicing Mormon who considers himself believing but who rejects absolutist elements of the fundamentalist world view, eg, the view of Joseph Smith as omnisent or morally perfect or recieving revelation unmixed with human and cultural limitations. However I do except non-absolutist incursions of the supernatural into the human experience.”

That is a great quote. Do you have a reference?

That is a great quote. Thanks, Salo.

A professor suggested that I read the book “A Thoughtful Faith,” edited by Phillip L Barlow. The book is a compilation of essays by scholars of the humanities bend who have chosen to stay LDS. The foreword indicates that there is a similar book out there focusing on scientific scholars, but I haven’t been able to find it. As I read these essays, I found myself falling across a whole spectrum of agreeing to disagreeing and nuancing arguments put forth by the authors to fit my own understanding.

I had been told many times growing up that you shouldn’t read dissenting opinions or interact too closely with people falling away from the church because you would get caught up in all that and such would be damaging to your testimony. Becoming one of those people you aren’t supposed to associate with and starting down a path that could possibly separate me from the church was scary. Finding that I wouldn’t be swept away by every line of argumentation or accept every offer of “another way” was empowering. I still choose my literature and how I discuss topics with people carefully. However, I now have greater confidence in making those choices.

Also, for me I feel that starting this with a non-threatening book, one written from a faithful perspective, was helpful. I was quite scared by all the doubts and questions bubbling up around me. Finding this greater confidence allowed me to approach questions and individuals (myself included) in a less guarded, more trusting, manner.

Honestly, my breakthrough didn’t come until my testimony had been completely brokendown to everything except, I knew there was a God and I believed he wanted the best for me. It was only then that I actually had the humility to listen to God and learn from him. He could then rebuild my testimony.

As far as books, one of my very favorites is Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson. It gives so much hope and really strengthens your testimony of Christ. What is more, it was written from an LDS perspective.

My quick response for now (and this is in addition to many of the helpful hints that have already been listed) is TIME. Its a good thing at times to let TIME do its thing…sometimes the concern is forgotten, or appears less important, sometimes the reverse happens!

I am sure I am not alone…but in the early days of my crisis in faith I was consumed with reading whatever I could…good, bad, ugly. I swear one day I spent about 8 hours (not all at once, but in 15mins chunks constantly) going through Mormonthink.com, and another day I read “Shaken Faith Syndrome”. Basically though both of these just opened up more issues for me to think about!

Anyway right now I am in a phase where I am not really focussing on my LDS concerns actively every single day. Its mostly on Sunday’s. That may sound weird but I am finding that I just need to get on with my life, focus on my personal faith in Christ each day, and deal with my concerns with Mormonism less. Mind you I find myself still checking these boards daily…but then again I also surf the news daily too…I am always on the net.

My point is I have lessened my focus a little….Ive needed to do this to keep sane. I also think sometimes you can overthink things…so I am kind of at the stage where I try to think about my feelings re the church only when I practically cannot, and obviously most of the time this occurs on Sundays.

So thats my 2cents worth…it has helped as I am somewhat less self absorbed, and Amen to that I say!