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I have heard many people talk about their struggles to find growth and inspiration in the Church – from those who have attended regularly and actively for many years and feel they have heard it all multiple times (that they never hear anything new) to those who have faced disillusionment and find they no longer agree with much of what they hear weekly in meetings. In a very real way, I understand both of these concerns, but I have found a way to mitigate them in my own life – by creating a personal focus of my own that I pursue as my primary spiritual objective independent of what I gain individually from church meetings. This approach has allowed me to attend meetings with the focus of helping others during those meetings – which means that anything I personally gain from them is icing on the cake. This personal plan came into true focus for me last year, when (for the first time in my life) I decided to set a New Year’s Resolution and truly work diligently at it. To keep the actual resolution pure in its full, original form, I am going to copy it word-for-word from my own blog (where I first articulated it). I hope it helps someone see how I went about taking charge of my own spiritual growth on an on-going, constant basis – and I can say without question that I wish (deeply and profoundly) that I had started this effort two or three decades ago. I can only imagine what my condition would be now if I had done so.
(I am not suggesting that everyone – or even anyone – needs to do this exactly as I chose to do it, but I believe strongly after one year of pursuing this resolution that the underlying focus of identifying and addressing the characteristics of godliness found in our scriptures in a systematic way can be life-changing for all who customize it to make sense for them personally. I also believe that limiting the time I spend focusing on something to a manageable period and not trying to master something completely in that time period – but rather simply “becoming better at it, no matter how much” – has allowed me to succeed and grow in ways that I had not experienced previously.)
Here is the resolution, as written on my personal blog:
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http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com/2008/01/new-years-resolution.html I need to focus all the time on things like personal and family scripture study and prayer, regular and meaningful Family Home Evening and temple attendance with Mama, but this year I am instituting only one New Year’s Resolution. It deals directly with my last post on the true meaning of “perfection” as commanded in Matthew 5:48.
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http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com/2007/12/problem-with-popular-perceptions-of.html As I said in that post, the Sermon on the Mount is Jesus’ penultimate sermon – what I consider to be the blueprint to perfection. Matthew 6 & 7 are part of the blueprint, but I am going to focus on Matthew 5 this year.
In this chapter, I count 12 character traits applicable to me and within my control that I believe, when fully internalized, make someone perfect. In my opinion, everything else in scripture revolves around these traits. Therefore, I am planning on focusing my efforts this year on those 12 traits – emphasizing one per month in successive order – thinking about it and looking for ways to acquire it and not worrying about any other traits during that month.
The following is the plan:
January: Become more poor in spirit.
February: Look for ways to mourn with those who mourn – then mourn with them.
March: Become more meek.
April: Hunger and thirst more after righteousness.
May: Become more merciful.
June: Become more pure in heart.
July: Become more of a peacemaker.
August: Control my anger better.
September: Become more chaste in thought and deed.
October: Keep my promises more diligently; make them a simple “Yes” or “No”.
November: Give more freely and do not revile as quickly.
December: Love those who revile me; seek situations of interaction with those who will do so.
I am planning currently to repeat the first seven traits each year until I feel impressed to stop. I intend to change the last five each year to other traits found in the scriptures. I have come to believe that if I focus on becoming more “perfect” (complete, whole, fully developed), my actions will begin to take care of themselves – that as I replace my natural tendencies with those called “blessed” by the Savior, that internal change will alter my very nature and allow me to do more naturally what He would have me do.
I personally blogged about each topic each month – detailing what I learned as I studied each characteristic and sharing my experiences trying to be a little better at each one. It has been a wonderful experience – truly life-changing for me – and it is totally independent of my attendance in church meetings.
love it. reminds of the steps Ben Franklin took to ‘perfect’ himself. He owed, he said, all of the success of his later years to the resolutions he made in his early. Ray, When I first read your Personal Focus piece, I could only see another checklist. I have been through many “programs”, Pursuit of Excellence, YW, etc. that have never really made a real change in my life. To me, an emphasis on perfection has previously led to discouragement and depression.
Your explanation in GDTeacher’s Intro, however, was instructive. I like the way you described personal spirituality as separate from institutional activity. Currently I am involved in activity, but I know I am not spiritual in the sense of becoming closer to Christ. And the institutional activities have not led me there either. I need to ponder what the term “spirituality” means to me, what it would look like in my life.
But I have a question for you. How do you distinguish “spirituality” from character development? It seems to me that many of your themes have to do with developing positive traits to become a better person and would improve one’s life whether they believe in God and Jesus or not.
I see a pattern with people that work their way back into wanting to be at Church. It usually involves some supplemental path. We find we don’t get everything we want and crave at Church, so we bring in extra stuff in our personal life. A guy I admire named Christfollower at NOM seems to do this with Evangelical Christiantity. Others pick Yoga. I find myself attracted to mystics throughout the ages. I like how you described it for yourself Ray.
Nonny, you’ve hit the nail on the head – since I believe the general ideas of “spirituality” and “character development” are almost indistinguishable. If we envision Jesus as the Master Teacher and Perfect Example, and if we envision “godhood” as a “condition” of being like God, then it makes sense to me that the entire purpose of life can be wrapped up in that goal – to become more godlike. Therefore, identifying what that means at the most basic, practical level and pursuing it makes sense to me as the most fundamental mission of mortality. My epiphany, if you will, is that this pursuit is very, very different than church activity. I think when we decouple the two and examine each separately, it is MUCH easier to see the true benefit of each – and that is the first step toward embracing each, imo. For example, “spirituality” is a personal pursuit, at the most basic level; church activity, otoh, is a communal activity. Even that distinction alone can remove much of what I believe to be the problem associated for many with church activity – since I think many members expect church activity to be the primary vehicle for personal righteousness and/or spirituality. I just see the purpose for that activity very differently, so I am not disappointed when I am not “spiritually enlightened” in my meetings. I tackle spiritual enlightenment outside of church activity; I attend church for very different reasons.
I hope that helps clarify a bit. I’m thinking of posting on the whole question of why I attend as much as I do, but that really is a totally separate topic than my personal focus on developing the characteristics of godliness.
(Oh, and I just want to add that pursuing godly perfection [wholeness, completion, full development] makes little sense if the underlying theology doesn’t teach that it makes a difference or is necessary. Sometimes Mormons don’t stop and realize how radical that simple concept is when viewed by the totally different perspective of Protestant theology. That alone would be enough to keep me Mormon, I think, even if I struggled with almost all of the minutiae.)
Awesome, Ray. I feel my mind expanding as I think about this.
Old-Timer wrote:(Oh, and I just want to add that pursuing godly perfection [wholeness, completion, full development] makes little sense if the underlying theology doesn’t teach that it makes a difference or is necessary. Sometimes Mormons don’t stop and realize how radical that simple concept is when viewed by the totally different perspective of Protestant theology. )
I don’t know about this last part. Many people develop moral character or feel spiritual without being Mormon. Maybe, to me, spirituality is more about being in tune with my own inner voice and then becoming attuned to the voices of those around me. That could certainly be done without the framework of the restored gospel or any theology. If I take that idea one step further though and say eventually we could become attuned to the voice of the universe, then we are back around to God and the purpose for our existence.I agree completely, Nonny, that spirituality is not confined to Mormonism. I think spirituality is confined to spiritual entities – so I’m not sure it even is confined to humanity. For me, however, if I am going to pursue “becoming like God” I want it to mean something – I want to believe it is a “real” goal, not just a platitude. I’m not 100% certain of much when it comes to the afterlife, but I at least want to believe I really am an actual child capable of becoming like my actual father. I don’t like the warped perfectionism I see in many members, but I will take it as the flip side of the emphasis on godliness that is embedded so openly in Mormon theology. I want to be striving for exaltation [something just beyond my reach], not complacent in salvation. (I know that seems to be an over-simplification, but I think it’s a pretty fair summary of the difference between the actual theologies.) (Frankly, that’s why I love Buddhism so much. It also is very open in its emphasis on being one with the universe (an interesting view of “at-one-ment”) and perpetual growth until one achieves a state of perfection. The terminology is different, but the fundamental concept is almost the exact same, imo. That also leads to interesting speculation about if reincarnation [in some form] is consistent with Mormon theology, and I think the answer is not as cut-and-dried as most members would automatically assume – but that’s a topic for a different post.
That idea of personal perfection drives me too. I don’t like the thought that I will just get to the end of it all someday. It makes some people crazy. I supposed it used to make me a bit crazy too until I became much more accepting of myself, much more comfortable with God. That aspect that Ray mentioned keeping him attached is attractive to me too. I can throw out any and all details, but I would still cling to that. It to me is the essence of hope and positive energy. I am also drawn to ideas in eastern spirituality related to that. I think they explore very important aspects of our nature that has been absent from the Christian tradition for centuries. Those teachings didn’t seem to survive much past the first couple hundred years after Christ’s death.
Valoel, Would you name a few of the “ideas in eastern spirituality” that you alluded to in your post. I listen to Deepak Chopra, Gregg Braden, Alan Watts, and have studied a bit of Kaballah. My experience with Eastern Religions is very very limited. I would like to hear more of what you have experienced that once was part of the Christian tradition but has been lost. Thank you for sharing.
by creating a personal focus of my own that I pursue as my primary spiritual objective independent of what I gain individually from church meetings.Thank you for posting that. Great. Maybe I would enjoy church more if I had spiritual goals. When I was in the singles ward, I had a goal of making church about my relationship with Christ, and doing what Christ would have me really do, and not worry about what anyone in the congregation was thinking of me.
I am going to really try to refocus on that. Other things to work on: humility, not focusing on the negative (which is a double negative!), trying to find humor and joy, not letting things get me upset.
Monkey wrote:Valoel,
Would you name a few of the “ideas in eastern spirituality” that you alluded to in your post. I listen to Deepak Chopra, Gregg Braden, Alan Watts, and have studied a bit of Kaballah. My experience with Eastern Religions is very very limited. I would like to hear more of what you have experienced that once was part of the Christian tradition but has been lost. Thank you for sharing.
I will make it a new topic so as not to throw this good discussion off track.
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