- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
I didn’t want to post this in a public section, because one of my sisters might end up here. She contacted me this weekend via email. It looks like another one of my siblings (I am the oldest of 
is hitting that point in their life… she wants to talk to me about the Church. That would leave only my youngest 2 brothers as “TBM.” The youngest just got back from his missio this fall, so he is still all pumped up i’m sure.It’s kind of depressing. I feel bad for my parents, who will probably see it as another failure in themselves for not keeping their family all perfect and celestial. I don’t know why I should feel so responsible or bad about it. I’m in the same boat. It’s probably some older brother psychology thing bothering me — wanting to fix everything.
I guess I was hoping I was just one of the wierd ones in the family, which I am ok with being that person. I always have been. It sounds like my sister and her husband are at their wits end with Church though, feeling guilty for not being able to do everything on the checklist, and wanting to call it quits. I know they are totally overwhelmed with the grind of life.
Oh well. I can’t post this anywhere else because she knows my pseudonym. I just had to say it to someone who understands the struggle.
Fwiw, Brian, I would look at this as a positive. You know how deeply I believe in the Restoration, at large, but I also believe deeply that true “enlightenment” comes through what I detailed in one of my last comments – the conscious recognition that we are responsible for our own faith and that everything can be constructed in a way that doesn’t detract from the power of the Gospel. I also believe deeply that it comes only as we learn to separate our own individual progression (our righteousness) from our activity in the Church (our religiosity). My own family (8 kids – I am #2 and oldest boy) is split fairly evenly between simple acceptance and studied, nuanced belief gained through trial. They all are active, but at least my brothers have struggled with various things over the years. They are stronger for it. I know that my New Year’s Resolution last year and this year has been inspired, and I have had quite a few people tell me that the basic concept has helped them focus their search for greater spirituality and righteousness. I link quite a few posts from my personal blog on various sites, but I generally don’t ask people to go there and systematically “study” the posts. When I read your post about your sister, however, that impression came directly and quickly. I’m not sure exactly why, but if you want to pass it along, my suggestion would be for her to go all the way back to Dec. 2007 and read all the posts that are labeled “resolutions” – in chronological order. Obviously, she can read anything and everything she wants, in whatever order she wants, but those should be read and considered in order.
For yourself, I have been feeling pretty strongly that I should organize those posts into a book. I’ve toyed with title and structure ideas, but the general concept would be something like: “The Gracious Pathway to Perfection: Accepting Our Mistakes As We Strive to Be Complete, Whole, Fully Developed”. I know you are busy, but if you have a few minutes here and there, I would appreciate any advice you can give – since this would be a new venture for me.
Anyone else who is wiling to give me feedback: That would be appreciated, as well.
Maybe it is genetic! 
My PB says I’ve been blessed with an active, alert and questioning mind, one seeking to know and understand truth. That’s totally me. But not everyone is like that. The people who aren’t like that seem to be suspicious of that.
Thanks everyone. I talked to her for a while last night. I think she is generally ok. She is more worried about her husband, who tends to be much more black and white in his thinking. He is stressed to the max right now too trying to hold down multiple jobs.
She really appreciated the “How to Stay” essay on the site here.
Black and white thinking is a difficult habit to overcome. It took me about a year of contemplation before I could even honestly consider letting go of some of my absolutist ideas (I realized yesterday I am still holding onto portions of absolutism). I see this as the biggest challenge in gaining real “maturity” and obviously some personalities will struggle more with it than others. At least your sister has you as a resource, many people have nowhere to turn for any kind of sanity.
Hang in there, Brian. Somehow it will all work out. I know it.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.