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I’m a 57-year-old (gads! it’s hard to say that!) mom of 6, married for almost 37 yrs. (also hard to believe!), and haven’t been to church for almost 3 yrs. Many factors have led to this sad state that I find myself in. For detailed reasons, I have laid them all out in the Faces East forum. Briefly: I was raised in the church in a part-member family (my mom was the member, with a long pioneer heritage). I was always active, went to BYU at 18, got married at 20, & have spent the last 37 yrs. mostly active, but with a husband that has been inactive for more of those years than active. (BTW, we were married in the temple.) My kids range in age from 35-18, & ALL are inactive (which grieves me more than I can say). I have tremendous guilt because: 1) I settled on the wrong person to marry, 2) I wasn’t a very good example to my kids, 3) am not strong enough to go to church by myself. There are more problems, of course, but these are biggest ones. I think I’m agoraphobic (sp?), which might explain not going to church for so long. While I do miss the commeraderie, when I was there I always felt inadequate and frankly, stupid. I was always very uncomfortable getting up in front of people, despite being the Primary president for several years, and in the RS presidency. Today, the thought of facing my old friends & new ward members fills me with great anxiety. I’m hoping that in joining in the staylds community, I can feel better about myself & my situation. Hi Marshnello, Welcome to StayLDS. I hope you can also find some encouragement here in addition to the more specialized marriage advice you get at FacesEast. You are in good company either place.
marshnello, Welcome. I hope you don’t feel inadequate here. Believing we don’t have or need all the answers is very liberating to me, and I hope it is something that can help you gain confidence. From one who is younger than you but older than most in the Bloggernacle, it’s good to have you here.
marshnello wrote:I’m a 57-year-old (gads! it’s hard to say that!) mom of 6, married for almost 37 yrs. (also hard to believe!), and haven’t been to church for almost 3 yrs. Many factors have led to this sad state that I find myself in. For detailed reasons, I have laid them all out in the Faces East forum. Briefly: I was raised in the church in a part-member family (my mom was the member, with a long pioneer heritage). I was always active, went to BYU at 18, got married at 20, & have spent the last 37 yrs. mostly active, but with a husband that has been inactive for more of those years than active. (BTW, we were married in the temple.) My kids range in age from 35-18, …
Welcome marshnello. Your bio up to this point looks almost like mine, except for the 18yo. Looks like we ended up in different places however. I hope you will feel some camaraderie here. Whether they are active or inactive, many people feel guilt and inadequacy. I’ll bet there are others at your ward who feel the same, but they hide it, as you probably do. I hope the people in your ward will show true Christian love and not judge you. You are OK just the way you are. (and don’t let anyone tell you differently) We are all just trying to grow.
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