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I found this forum as a link from a link from some other search I was doing, and was interested in some of the conversations going on. I am a very active LDS member and a graduate student at a church university, and I’m getting married this spring. This is the first time I’ve lived in a predominantly LDS area, and it is a little weird for me. I grew up in the Rocky Mountains, but always where my religion made me very small minority. I’ve always loved the church – it was what gave me some sort of a center growing up. Even though I was always a little “weird” and nerdy and not as culturally in-tune with other church members (my mom is a convert and I grew up in a part-member family), I’ve always felt at home at church.
The biggest shock for me living in a majority-LDS area this past year has been the huge number of people here who
aren’tactive in the church. All my life, people I’ve known have either been Mormon or haven’t known much about us. Here, it seems that people are either Mormon, struggling with being Mormon, or trying really hard to show that they’re not Mormon. I must admit that I’m new to having friends in these categories, but I still love the friends I have, no matter how far in or out of the church they are. I really believe in the healing power of the atonement. My fiancĂ© had a years-long battle with pornography that was really hard for him to overcome and, frankly, still terrifies me. But we both feel that we can have safety in acceptance of the atonement and that the Lord lifts us and strengthens us beyond our own abilities. I am beginning to see how bad some of the things in these latter days really are. It breaks my heart to see what some of my brothers and sisters have to live with. But I have a testimony of the sure and solid rock at the center of it all that is our Redeemer and I want to share that testimony with whomever it will help.
Hi – I am new here as well. I am a firm believer but do continue to have cultural issues. I am following good advice from this board and other “non-virtual” sources to relax a little and not worry about it. It’s funny – Even in the last week some folks I thought were “pod people” opened up to me a little bit (maybe because they sense I am looking at them from a different optic?). Must be answers to my prayers. Best
Zebedee.
Welcome to the StayLDS community. Thanks for introducing yourself. We all benefit so much from faith diversity. It is a shame that things have drifted so far into extreme conformity. It wasn’t always like than in our Church, not in the early years. It is largely a phenomenon of the past 60 years or so. I so very much wish people could just openly talk about doubts and kick around unusual perspectives in the LDS community. It infuses the community with vitality. At times, I fear we are drifting into the world of “Creeds” that Joseph so much opposed.
Annie wrote:The biggest shock for me living in a majority-LDS area this past year has been the huge number of people here who
aren’tactive in the church. All my life, people I’ve known have either been Mormon or haven’t known much about us. Here, it seems that people are either Mormon, struggling with being Mormon, or trying really hard to show that they’re not Mormon. I must admit that I’m new to having friends in these categories, but I still love the friends I have, no matter how far in or out of the church they are. I attended BYU for a year right after I graduated from high school (in the late 80′). I also suffered this same culture shock. It seemed that the culture created really uncomfortable polar extremes. I didn’t care for it. Honestly, I thought to myself that I would never want to raise my children in Utah. Sorry … I really don’t want to offend people. I am a life-long member of the Church, and I was not comfortable in Utah. I saw my friends being pushed to unrealistic extremes of belief, or worse, they felt like they had to do all kinds of stupid and self-destructive acts to PROVE they were not controlled by the Church. I guess we all have different experiences. I am more comfortable being a religious minority. This will sound harsh in a way, but I think Mormons get a little wierd when they aren’t constantly challenged about their beliefs. It’s like a reality check or something. We have a powerful religion. I love it. I really do. It is a positive source of creativity and divinity.
valoel, I loved being raised in Utah, but I would struggle a bit if I had to move back now. ANY organization that becomes dominant and isolated tends toward totalitarianism. Power corrupts, even in the Church. I believe STRONGLY that the Church simply had to flee to the wilderness in order to survive the early years of the restoration, but I also feel just as strongly that part of the pruning of the vineyard described in Jacob 5 (the elimination of the bitter fruit) is the need to shed the bad effects of that isolation.
A minority population can express its uniqueness by juxtaposing that uniqueness against the majority culture. Iow, Mormons here in Ohio can “rebel” by being Mormon – what I call “pure Mormonism”. In Utah, however, Mormonism is the cultural norm – so those who aren’t comfortable following the cultural norm find expression for their “rebellion” by challenging that norm (in this case, Mormonism). The worst part, however, is that for years the only such “rebellion” possible was by Mormons – which means that the natural reaction of the “faithful majority” was to draw even tighter conditions around “conformity” and move more and more away from the “rebellion” they saw happening within the Church. This caused polarization – where suddenly “pure Mormonism” (which is incredibly moderate and tolerant and flexible, imo) began to be seen almost as “rebellion”.
Isolated entrenchment tends to do that, and for decades the Church was isolated and entrenched. Thankfully, the world-wide growth of the Church has begun to mitigate against that former movement, and I really believe we are beginning to swing back toward what I see as pure Mormonism.
Interesting thoughts Ray, I like it! 
Ray put it very nicely. I’d rather have kids who rebel by standing for something than rebelling by standing against something.
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