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I would be interested in others inputs on this list. It is a set of contrasts between immature and mature behavior. I originally wrote it to help give my eldest child some perspective.
Everyone is on a continuum, of course – even “mature” adults don’t always act like grown ups, including me.
But I think it is helpful, especially to a late teen/young adult to consider these type of contrasts since they desire so much to be treated more like an adult than a juvenile.
Juvenile: avoids responsibility
Grown-up: takes responsibility
Juvenile: leaves messes
Grown-up: cleans up after themselves
Juvenile: waits to be asked to help
Grown-up: Asks: “what can I do to help”
Juvenile: looks to fault others for problems
Grown-up: looks to see how she can solve her own problems
Juvenile: does the minimum or less
Grown-up: does what is needed, usually more
Juvenile: Mooches
Grown-up: Pays their own way
Juvenile: play first, work after
Grown-up: work first, play after
Juvenile: wants to be understood
Grown-up: seeks to understand
Juvenile: considers what *they* want
Grown-up: considers consequences, impact on others
Juvenile: wants respect
Grown-up: earns respect
Juvenile: expects to be taken care of
Grown-up: takes care of others
Juvenile: sees parents as hypocrits and inhibitors
Grown-up: appreciates difficulty of parenting seeks wisdom from their experiece
Skepti-Cal wrote:
Juvenile: wants to be understoodGrown-up: seeks to understand
I think that one applies a lot to our journey here. Many of us initially just want to explode, desperately wanting to be understood and acknowledged by people in our church and family circles. It creates a lot of frustration.
It seems to me that people who come to peace are the ones who seek understanding. They lose their attachment and expectation of being understood. That takes a lot of internal strength and maturity.
That is an excellent list. Thanks.
I love that list! I am going to put it on my fridge with one deletion. Skepti-Cal wrote:Juvenile: Mooches
Grown-up: Pays their own way
Are we not all beggars? Do we not all mooch continually? Consider the lilies of the field and the birds in the sky.
Fine line. The disciples of Jesus pull infinitely more than their own weight in the big scheme of things. But they also rely on the mercies of God and the world for their daily bread.
But again, I love that list!
Any ideas for additions to the list? Great List!! How about this attempt for an addition:
Juvenile: Thinks his/her problems are worse than what anyone else is going through (“Why me?”)
Adult: Realizes his/her problems could have been worse (“At least I’m not Job!”)
I like it, Heber13! Sorry it took a while… Juvenile: Expects everyone’s view to match that individual’s. Throws a fit when the views of others don’t match that individual’s.
Grown-Up: Expects no one’s view to match that individual’s. Shrugs and/or feels validated when the views of others happen to match that individual’s.
Juvenile: Acts really moody and sometimes throws a fit when they’re tired or hungry. Grownup: Acts really moody and sometimes throws a fit when they’re tired or hungry.
Juvenile: Thinks they always know what’s best.
Grownup: Thinks they always know what’s best.
Juvenile: Looks down on those of a younger generation.
Grownup: Looks down on those of a younger generation.
Juvenile: Tries to act like a grownup, but doesn’t really understand what that means.
Grownup: Tries to act like a grownup, but doesn’t really understand what that means.
People don’t grow up. They just grow old.
That’s a really interesting observation, dande. I think sometimes people see adulthood as this higher plane of existence when it really is just a time in your life when you have more responsibilites and have gained wisdom through experience. There was never a switch that flipped in my head that said “you’re an adult now”. When I turned 18, I felt no different. Same when I turned 21. I don’t really feel all that grown up; I just have more responsibilities now. Granted, I’m only 25, but I’ve also come to realize that once you graduate from college, age is pretty much irrelevant. Some people practically are born mature. Some people mature as they age and have new experiences.
Some people mature as they are forced by life to do so.
Some people never mature.
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