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  • #204003
    Anonymous
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    I’d like to introduce myself. I’m “just me.”

    I was raised in the LDS church. I went to seminary and loved it. Gained my initial testimony at 14. I’ve always been a rule follower-otherwise known as a goody-goody. I believed everything our leaders said was gospel.

    Married my RM sweetheart in the Logan Temple when I was a tender 18 (after a 6 month courtship). That was 14 years ago. We have 3 beautiful children.

    I love genealogy.

    Researching my pioneer heritage is what started me on this spiritual journey. Ironic.

    After ignoring “anti” stuff for a couple years I came to a point where I felt prompted to look at some of it. This was about 6 months ago. After a couple days of reading I was sobbing and scared. DH gave me a blessing and in it I was promised that I would come out stronger for this experience. I know that will be true.

    I plunged in and kept learning all I could. I was blessed to find a blog that helped me retain my belief in the restoration while still believing that sin and apostacy has taken place.

    I have felt the spirit more often and stronger in my life than ever before. I have also felt a dark spirit several times during this journey.

    As I search the scriptures I find so many truths and the symbolism is opening up to me. I’m trying to decide how much is literal and how much symbolic (for me).

    I have often felt that the more I learn the less I know.

    I can admit that I could be wrong about everything.

    I feel more compassion than before.

    I feel a stronger desire to truly know Christ.

    I choose to believe in God and Christ. My belief is proof enough for me.

    I can’t wait to be in a position to help others on their spiritual journey.

    I want to learn to live life more fully.

    I don’t have to have all the answers.

    The most liberating discovery for me has been Grace. We are saved by grace!

    So, here I am. I am happy to be where I am. I do have down days and high days. I’m finally getting over the obsession of scouring the internet for every little factoid from church history. I still have so much to figure out but I am trying to take it at a more managable speed. I do have a life, after all.

    #217286
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Welcome. I love it here and hope you will, as well.

    It’s easy to let obsession (of any kind) make you weary – and that’s not a good thing. It’s not a good thing to obsess over temple work, missionary work, genealogy, anti-Mormon treatises, job – anything. I search for balance, even if that means I have to admit and accept an almost always changing definition of balance – meaning I accept being almost continually out of balance.

    It’s good to hear that you are recognizing that.

    #217287
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Many here are, or have been, in the same boat. You are in good company.

    just me wrote:

    I have felt the spirit more often and stronger in my life than ever before. I have also felt a dark spirit several times during this journey.


    I have felt this as well. The highs are higher and the lows lower. Some of this is a natural psychological phenomenon that we go through when we have stressful, life defining moments.

    Glad to you have you. Hope you find peace here.

    #217288
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Welcome to our community, glad to have you along with us for the adventure.

    Your comments about being more connected and really experiencing a new understanding of grace, that resonated with me. I don’t think I understood the atonement as much before I let go of a lot of my expectations about our Church. I feel closer to God, even though I now am much less sure about what it all means — the great paradox of religion and spirituality.

    #217289
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Thanks for the welcome!

    Yes, I see my obsessive tendencies. I think it is a family trait. I go in waves for everything.

    The concept of grace has been my favorite part of this journey. Not only to apply it in my own life but to extend it to others. It’s so incredible and hiding in plain sight.

    Maybe I can find the elusive “enter into the rest of the Lord!” That is my goal, anyway.

    #217290
    Anonymous
    Guest

    just me wrote:

    I have felt the spirit more often and stronger in my life than ever before. I have also felt a dark spirit several times during this journey.

    As I search the scriptures I find so many truths and the symbolism is opening up to me. I’m trying to decide how much is literal and how much symbolic (for me).

    I have often felt that the more I learn the less I know.

    I can admit that I could be wrong about everything.

    I feel more compassion than before.

    Welcome “just me”. I LOVE your intro, in particular how you convey such a sense of humility and open-mindedness. I am fairly new here too. I hope you find the support you are looking for here… even if it is just a knowledge that you are not alone. Welcome.

    #217291
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Welcome! I’m glad you’re here.

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