My reintroduction.

Hello there, everyone. I figured I better take this time to reintroduce myself since we’ve gotten quite a few new people on this forum. I am 35-year-old single male that lives in DeKalb, Illinois. That’s a small college town in the northern section of Illinois. I do have mild forms autism, OCD, anxiety, and panic disorders, which has limited me to how far I can drive out of town and the types of jobs I’m capable of working at. This economy hasn’t helped anyway. I am a recovering sex addict. I see my counselor and my bishop every so often about it. Prescription meds have also helped with this. I have real mom who don’t see much of. She never married my real dad or anyone. She has some mental disorders worse than mine. I haven’t since my real dad since I was 8. In fact, he gave me to my foster family when I was a week ago. My foster mother and my real dad are related somehow. I think they’re second cousins. Since I don’t know much about my real parents and my foster parents seem like my real parents to me because they’ve raised me, I will refer to my foster parents as just my parents. Anyway, I I have parents that are active LDS and an older brother in Lehi, Utah, that’s also an active member. I have an oldest sister in Vegas that believes in the church, but isn’t active. My middle older sister, who just got married two Saturdays ago to her 8-year finance, lives in Austin, Texas, is inactive and doesn’t believe in the church anymore. My first older sister is no longer a member of the church. As a result of nieces and nephews that have different feelings about the church. Anyway, I served in the Nevada Las Vegas West Mission in April 22, 1998-April 20, 2000. My mission was tough and rewarding at the same time. I was grateful to have served. I have been striving to find an eternal companion, but I used to be obsessed with it. Not anymore. That obsession ended a few years when the Spirit convinced me that it will happen in the Lord’s own time when it does.

Anyway, now on to my faith crisis, it had began several years ago. Some of this was due to some of the problems I have had with my sex addiction. So some of that is my fault. Some of it also has to do with coming across some disturbing historical information about the church, Joseph Smith, former leaders of the church, and other issues with the church on the internet and my town’s local library. Most of it was from anti-Mormon websites or anti-Mormon books. For a while, I didn’t know what to make out of anyway of it. I’ve even learned that some of this stuff even come from church archives. I’ve wanted to leave the church, but I’ve felt that even with much good that are is other religions and elsewhere in the world I never felt peace like I do being active in the church and it’s gospel. I still have strong testimonies of Joseph Smith, the scriptures, the gospel, the church, sustaining the church leaders, and President Monson. I’ve learned through this crisis that even though the church is led by Jesus Christ, it isn’t all the time. In fact, I believe the Savior might need to make major corrections within his church. Things are not always how we believe them to believe in the church or we’re in it’s history. There are many statements that are taught at the pulpit and Sunday school that are not of God. And many of those statements have changed throughout time. God truly uses all kinds of people to accomplish his work. Even with God’s own church, he might tell someone that they should leave his church or shouldn’t join it. Why do I believe that with the last statement. I do. I feel that strongly now. I hope the Holy Ghost inspired it.

Anyway, that’s why I love Staylds. I can stay active in the church and the gospel and research the deeper issues with church, it’s doctrines, it’s people, and it’s history.