Motivation

I have gone through years in the past where I was mostly inactive. And sleep … glorious sleep. I could write love poems to my beloved — her name is “sleeping in late.”

Let’s face it. Sometimes Church is boring. Sometimes people there can be irritating. Sometimes both happen, lol.

I attend almost ever Sunday for a good year or more now. It has become an important ritual to me. I don’t always care what people are even talking about. It feels good to me that I take a couple hours and dedicate it to religious practice and reflection (prayer and mediation, in a sense). I feel like my life is very hectic, busy and stressful. I worry about all kinds of things all week long. On Sunday morning though? On that morning, I put all that out of my mind, and watch and listen to my brothers and sisters in the Church act out the motions of this thing we call a Church. I teach Elder’s Quorum once a month. I really enjoy that 😈 . I can’t complain that the teacher was boring … I get control of the topic. I enjoy bringing up questions that push people in the class just a little bit toward the edge of comfort. That takes a bit of art and practice so as not to push things too far.

It is very important to bring extra reading materials!!! As of late, I carry around a modern translation of the Bible, one with the pages half stuffed with footnotes of serious biblical scholarship. I am also half-way through “Dark Night of the Soul” by St. John of the Cross (an early Christian, Catholic, Spanish monk and mystic). I brought Persian Sufi poetry with me when I volunteered to be at Girls Camp for a couple days last month. I’m a big fan of Jalaladin Muhammad Rumi. Those are just my personal tastes. It’s just good to be prepared with something in case you have an attack of boredom, or frustration with the content of someone’s lesson/talk. It helps me keep the whole experience very spiritual and on track.

This last part will sound more cliche’ and traditional. I dunno *shrug,* it works for me. I get as much out of my ward as I have been putting into it. I’ve tried to find more ways to serve others *BUT* within the limitations of my time schedule and personal boundaries. I find that serving people, especially those I might disagree with theologically, helps me have love and compassion for them.

Taking charge of my experience helps me enjoy it all a lot more. Who can I blame but myself?

Fwiw, I have NO expectations of being fed myself. I don’t mean this to be boastful in any way, but I have been attending for over 40 years – so I rarely hear anything new. However, I do hear certain things phrased in interesting and “new” ways occasionally, so when I am enlightened it is a nice surprise.

I attend consciously to help others – to find ways to phrase things that will be inclusive rather than exclusionary – to hug someone who looks tired or upset – to play with a child while its mother or father takes a break – to contribute somehow to the community and the peace of individuals. I truly enjoy it, since it has become a way to find myself by losing myself.

Thanks for the suggestions and information. I really do think I need some kind of calling (not sure teaching would be a good idea for me right now with my relationship to church doctorine where it is now, I’m likely to say things to simply upset people ). But I do need something, some reason to go I guess. Thankfully we just got a new Bishop and he’s somebody I have been friends with for some time so he will be easier to talk to about this. I’m not sure that I’ll ever get back to the gung ho Mormon I was but I’m really not sure I want to. I like where I am right now with the Church in most respects, except attendance. I’ll try and keep you all posted!

Do some random act of kindness…that always is spiritually uplifting. Even without a calling, you can spot needs in the ward and just help someone because you want to help someone, not just because you’re assigned to help them.

I have done that with some youth, and their parents really appreciate someone caring about them, especially when I’m not their youth leader, they sense the caring is genuine. I do care, and their attitude uplifts me as well.

Volunteer for scouts. Uhhhhh … I mean drop hints that you are interested in that calling, and you might be surprised at the “revelations” the Bishopric receives from on high. A lot of people dread that calling for some odd reason. Most wards love it when someone actually wants to be there. Scouts is a classic hiding place for us misfits. You teach … but the Boy Scout program is all about basic universal morals. That and you get to light things on fire and play with knives. 😈

Guilty as charged!! It’s brilliant!!

As for church, I agree with Valoel. I don’t go because I have to, or should, or anything. I go because when I don’t I miss it. I figure that’s mostly because I’ve been doing it my whole life. I don’t really care what the reason is, I still go. I usually roll my eyes about 500 times each week.

This week someone said he believed our bodies were changed physically when receiving priesthood ordinances. Hence, Joseph was more capable of receiving revelation given to the physical changes he experienced through ordinances. He presented this as an accepted doctrine of the church.

I rolled my eyes, but sat quietly enjoying the idea that he was on a journey through life, just like me. He was there, doing his best to emanate the god within himself, just like I was. He has different experience, different education, different values. We have differing ideas of reality, but this doesn’t change the motivation we each had to become better people. I appreciate the commonality more than the differences. But I also appreciate being in an environment where my ideas are challenged.

jmb275, you just explained much of why I am able to attend church every week without much heartburn. I’ve stopped judging others for their beliefs and perspectives – and it’s wonderful simply to be with them.