Feeling Good

This may seem a little silly but I strongly believe in acknowledging and celebrating tiny successes…. especially when they happen during arduous journeys of faith.

I woke up this morning feeling tearful and discouraged because sometimes my sufferings seem long and pointless. My H, who is incredibly supportive, talked me through a few emotions and reminded me of my strengths. I then started to feel a renewed sense of self trust and trust in the Spirit and all the things that I DO know inside of me, in spite of what mormon culture believes or the limitations of the understanding of the church and the people in it. I also felt that God was in charge of my journey again and that He did really know me and he knew my real inner desires and that he was helping me with all of it.

I don’t suppose I know anymore than I did yesterday, but somehow I feel that I don’t need to struggle over some of the little things so much. That feels like a good plateau to reach. And it feels good NOT to have to put trust into the church or the mormon culture, but rather to rely on my relationship with God and the things He is teaching me. Perhaps sometime in the future I will know more how to orient myself to participating in the church more than I am able right now.

And I just wanted to say TY to this group. I already feel better about things. Hi jolley, and Heber and Bruce…..you have all posted things that felt right and settled some argument in my mind.

Thank you.