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I assume you’ve seen the old business joke, “The 6 stages of a project”; 1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the guilty
5. Punishment of the innocent
6. Reward for the non-participants
I assume there are also some well known stages associated with what this site’s purpose deals with. I would not be surprised to see them with a bit different labeling (anger, fear, depression etc.) but the above list seems more fun … and likely fits just about as well.
I’m afraid I’m at stage 6. After all of the work, pain, tears and sorrow, I seem to be to the point of giving it all up to the non-participants.
From the little I’ve heard about this group, I assume a majority persist because of their continued need for spirituality. I’m afraid after purposely turning from a hyper-driven quest for all things spiritual, for self preservation reasons (I felt I was going mad), that 7 years of isolation later … my spirituality is all but dead. The agnostic, non-participant seems to want to claim the final reward.
Is there a hidden step 7 possible? One of like, wisdom, justice, peace and mostly a return of step 1’s enthusiasm. Can an all but snuffed out spiritualism be restored to full flame?
Quote:Can an all but snuffed out spiritualism be restored to full flame?
Absolutely, but I believe it has to be “re-built” rather than “restored”. That might be a finely nuanced distinction, but it’s important to me.
Fwiw, when someone wants to become a sumo wrestler, the very first thing that is the foundation of the process is to break down the current physical composition and rebuild the body into that of a sumo wrestler. Only those who are willing to “start over again” reach full status as newly created sumo wrestlers. It’s a radical, painful process, but it works.
timp, because your description of your journey sounds similar to what I’ve heard other people here share lately, I’d like to share what the journey has looked like for me. I feel like my journey has been less of a “loss” and more of an “expansion”. For every loss along the way, there has been a fulfilling expansion. 1. I started at age 15 with two intentions: a) Share the gospel and b) become “spiritual” (ultimately have my calling and election made sure, or enter into the rest of the Lord while yet in the flesh)
2. To become “spiritual”, I followed zealously my understanding of the religion. To share the gospel, I reached out to the evangelicals and began to understand and appreciate them, which slowly changed my understanding of the religion until age 25, when I reached a brick wall that from others I sense is a common phenomenon. I was doing all I humanly could, and making little additional progress that I could see.
3. Between age 25 and 35, my failure to see differently was consolidating, percolating, chafing, agonizing, and driving. Sometime during this period I placed all my conceptions, beliefs, and foundations on the table as an offering for truth and growth and solutions. No cow was sacred. I intended to be a clean slate.
4. Between age 35 and 37 I was touched in a new, deeper way by the darkness of my people at 1843 Nauvoo, 1857 Utah, and 2001Colorado City and by the light in all people at Wikipedia and in the Open Source movement. By age 37 I had felt anger toward my faith group and love toward the greater community.
5. Starting at age 37 (a month after my birthday) with a transcendental experience that softened and deepened my emotions and fulfilled and re-oriented the intentions of my age 15 first conversion, I have to the present been in a stage of rest and anticipation and learning. I have so much pride and habit and childhood wound to heal now. But I am satisfied, re-oriented, and rejuvenated. I feel like I have got my money’s worth; every penny and then some. And I now know that every coming epoch of my life will be filled with further wonderful unknown future discoveries. And part of that will be discovering how to joyfully Stay LDS even while standing independent in my faith in all humanity and eternity.
Now I am 42. It is wonderful.
Tom Haws wrote:I am especially interested in the experience by which your fundamentalism was dispelled. May I ask you to describe the type of spirituality that has replaced it? To you, what now is the meaning of having your calling and election made sure?
I copied this from the intro thread. So far, the things in this thread appear to be some key issues for me, which I need to look/feel deeply after for awhile. In time I will try and respond fully to your questions here.
I welcome more input from everyone as you get a better feel for me in other posts.
Thanks
Chad
I could be mistaken. What I hear from you is that peace and satisfaction of having let go. You have given over the “Reward for the Non-Participants.” Is there a stage 7? I don’t know. I like what Ray talked about — rebuilding. That sounds about right. Now that you’ve let go, dropped all that heavy baggage you’ve been carrying around for soooooo so long (tiring wan’t it?), you are free to build something new and OWN it.
I think you can do that in the LDS Church if you want to. It isn’t the only answer, but it is one of them — the one we talk about here.
So yes. I think there is a secret Stage 7 to the project, if and/or when you want to start over again. Think of it this way. You now know at least one way that didn’t work for you
I need to get back here and do some posting. Just a quick update … After many years, the heavens again opened and I’ve had some wonderful experiences. I’ve been back to church the last 3 weeks now.
Chad
That is so cool to hear. Thanks for letting us know.
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