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Lately I’ve found myself feeling less inclined to return to the Church because of the negative comments at StayLDS. I thought, perhaps, each of you could post a list of some positives about staying LDS. I truly need to read something emotionally and spiritually uplifting. Can you help me?
-a weekly spiritual regimen -the company of others who are trying to find their way home
-a break away from “the world”
-much, much good…even if there are some things a bit uncomfortable
Hi Kalola, What a great question and well needed. It reminds me of something my therapist did for my husband and I once when we were having martial problems. She had us look at a photo of a donut with a hole in the middle. She said, “You can choose to focus on the hole and what is missing in your relationship, or the donut part and all the good.” I was raised in the church and even though I have some issues and problems and doubts about the church, here is what the church has done for me personally:
1. I never smoked or drank beause of being raised in the church and am more health minded. I have good friends who are so hooked on smoking and their life is miserable because of it.
2. Because of the churches teachings on morality, I was not promiscous, and never got pregnant out of wedlock or got a disease, and complicated my life.
3. From going on a mission and having so many church callings and giving talks since a little girl in church, I overcame my shyness, and became a good teacher and had so many spiritual experiences in preparing lessons. It also forced me to become more unselfish, serve others, and mature as a person.
4. As a teen, my mutual teachers helped me through difficult times when I had no real mom as she was so mentally ill.
5. So, often when I would go to church, the lessons taught are just what I needed to hear that day and an answer to prayer.
6. My closest girlfriends are from the church who have helped me through so many trials. Some of my visiting teachers are helped me through some really tough times.
7. I learned songs and hymns from very young that I still recall that come to mind when I need them most. One was “Though Deepen Trials wend your way.” A home teacher came by once and sang the whole song about Christ and him being the answer.
8. I came to Christ as a little girl because of the stories I heard of Jesus and learned how to love my enemies.
So much good stuff in the church…and good people. It is important not to throw out the baby with the bathwater.
I once was asked by a co-worker, “What does the church do for you?” I wasn’t sure how to answer the question and my silence was similar to all the others he had asked the same question. It was proof to him that we were mistaken in our belief and it was pointless to continue. I have reflected on that question many times over the last year and a half since he asked it and I have come to a few conclusions.
1. I think the question infers some sort of selfishness. Kind of like, “What can I get out of it if I stay in it?”
2. The church does offer something indirectly by way of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It gives us something to live up to and a power to do it above and beyond our own power.
3. As I have thought about the purpose of life and everything we experience here, and I have come to the conclusion, and I know it’s going to sound stupidly simple, but everything here is for us. Everything is a blessing. God gave it to us because He loves each of us.
4. As you draw close to Christ through the Light of Christ and the power of prayer you will find that your heart will draw out to those around you. “What does the church do for you?” Well it has given me a vehicle for service to others. These are called CALLINGS.
5. As you attain the attributes of Christ you will be asking, “What can I do for the church?”
Some of us, and I think especially me, may use some direct words that may come off unkind. This is not a website designed to spew hatred and we all are doing our best to be kind, and the moderators enforce it. I believe that forgiveness is the absolute best medicine and taking on any victim role (I say this with concern and not judgement,) will halt spiritual growth.
Please don’t give up. There is so much more to experience.
Kalola, you might want to read this post and thread from earlier: Kalola, I love to sing the hymns. I love to sing in the choir.
I think a lot of the stories in the Friend are delightful.
I think that teaching sacrifice and obedience to the kids is probably a good thing.
I love the lay ministry.
I like that I am a Child of God.
I like that revelation continues.
It is a good church. Never lose sight of that.
And as for us here at StayLDS.com, we ought maybe to clean up our act a bit if we are pulling Kalola away, ehh? No joke.
Wow, I love hearing your posts kalola, so thoughtful and sincere. I must say that I’ve had kind of the opposite experience here. I was pretty set on giving up entirely on the church but realized that maybe I needed to adjust my thinking rather than try to change the church. This forum has accomplished that for me and beyond. It’s been such a blessing to me and, by extension, my family.
I’m not insinuating that you should feel differently, just pointing out how different all of our journeys are, and how helpful we can be to each other given the appropriate level of our own participation.
Anyways, I hope you can find peace and joy, however and wherever that is. I know you’ve brought me joy in the past from some of your posts.
I see so many good people trying to do so many good things. We are all a bunch of searching souls, looking for the meaning, the love, the truth in life – sometimes we think we’ve found something – sometimes we realize we didn’t. I hear so many interesting things in church. Often people express views that differ somewhat from my own, sometimes they express exactly what I feel. I enjoy trying to see the heart of their message – to see how it translates to practical actions or support in their personal lives. I appreciate honesty and optimism, and I find it at church; even if it’s in a paradoxical way.
Thanks for the thread!
Kalola I’d like to share a bit of this week’s sacrament meeting, a meeting that I love and enjoy every week no matter the quality of the speakers. Of course as I’ve said I think that the perfect sacracment meeting would have more time singing than talking but I’m not likely to get that. One of the speakers was my nephew, on a brief visit home before going back to University in Victoria. He gave a talk on his favorite scriptures and the wonderful part was his observation that he viewed the 13th article of faith as the “seasoning” for the other 12 articles, that the other 12 were the meat of the gospel and the 13th was the seasoning and the salt, something that applied back to each of them and gave them more life and energy.
It was a wonderful talk made more important to me since it was my nephew.
So I guess part of what I am saying is that I really love how familes can bond together, work together and love together in the Church. Granted it doesn’t always work but when it does it is amazing.
I must admit that sometimes I feel the same way. It seems this site goes both ways for me and there are times when I feel less than uplifted. Other times, certain posters have said what I needed to hear or who took a moment to give a little encouragement to me. I am greatful for both experiences. One helped me up. The other helped me know I needed to search for the Spirit in another way. I think there is a lot in the Restored Gospel of Jesus to be excited about. In this church, I have learned more about spirit and light and creation and the potential of man than anywhere else. I have also learned more about love and faith and repentance and grace! I love being taught by the Spirit of God. I love what it feels like to have the Spirit do what I call “the popcorn effect” in my mind. That is where random ideas or impressions come to open my eyes and heart to things.
I have decided that you have to be pretty tough to be a mormon. But maybe that is what inspires us……when we see the strength in others and then find strength in ourselves. In this church we have all we need! We have the core doctrines that are layered with wisdom and truth and goodness if we are determined to find it. We have the Holy Spirit if we nurture that capacity inside of us! We have each other! We can lift the hands that hang down and strengthen the feeble knees! And there is so much hope because of Christ! No, it doesn’t always go perfectly. It is like the book….a very rough stone rolling. The church was an imperfect venture from the beginning. I think I am ok with it. And I am trying to focus on the problems of our day and what parts of it are sitting in front of me.
I guess what I am saying is that there is hope in this church inspite of everything against it and within it that sometimes don’t work very well. I think perhaps it is the world that is creeping into our hearts. Our duty is to stop it and to keep ourselves in tune so that we can distinguish truth from error. I think I love this idea more than any this week! That we can learn and be taught from on high about any subject and I am particularly grateful for how the spirit teaches when one is studying the scriptures. And I never want to forget the tender mercies of God! I have discovered them recently and I almost don’t have the words……
Men are that they might have joy. There is so much in this world that would steal it from us. We do have to stick together and keep our eye focused on the things that preserve our joy. God help us all to work through our concerns so that our hope and faith and love shines out over all of it.
I’m sorry you feel some comments on this site is a reason for you not wanting to go back to church. I love taking Sacrament. I love most hymns. I love so many of the members. I love my husband and in-laws who happen to love The Church. I love certain unique principles taught in The Church.
On another note I feel I should add that this journey is personal. I find many people on this spiritual journey seek and successfully find inner strength, responsibility, knowledge, motivation and inspiration from none other than themselves (With the help of God imo)
At times I did not want to go back to Church “B/C of” Church History, B/C of MADB, B/C I heard it is All or Nothing! Although I couldn’t admit it at the time-this thinking is slightly toxic. When we depend on something and all of the sudden it doesn’t meet our standards we fall, lose hope and blame-we play the victim. We must become responsible, confident, seek personal revelation, seek knowledge, inner truth and strength for our life, path, journey-whatever you want to call “It”.
If you do decide to leave this site don’t play the offended card or blame it for your downfall.(Sorry don’t mean to seem insensitive..just real) I stopped reading MADB simply b/c it personally made me angry and sad-It wasn’t helping. Find what works for you in a positive way and build it into your personal desires, knowledge, faith, strength .. etc.
Thank you all so very much for sharing your lists of positives about staying LDS. Tom Haws, I especially appreciated what you wrote.
And LaLaLove, I will not be leaving this site. I have so much to learn from each of you. I was feeling confused and needed to read these words of bridget_night:
Quote:So much good stuff in the church…and good people.
And I absolutely love the hymns. DH and I have been known to entertain our DS with a rousing rendition of “The Spirit of God Like a Fire Is Burning.”
Peace.
You might want to read my post on Why I go to Church: http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/29/why-do-you-go-to-church/ Here’s an excerpt:
I have left messages on this and other blogs about how boring church can be. This has prompted the question, “Well, if it’s so boring, why do you even bother to go?”
First of all, let me state that I am a believing Mormon. I believe Joseph Smith was a prophet, I believe in the Book of Mormon, I believe in the Bible, I believe going to church is a good, worthy endeavor, and I am very supportive of the good service that is performed in every ward in the church. (I guess you could call these my personal Articles of Faith.)
For many, Church is a social club. If they don’t feel welcome in a congregation, then keep shopping around until you find one they like. I think there is some merit to this. For people who are not strong believers in Christ, it is important to be in a welcoming, Christian environment. Christian fellowship is an important and powerful tool for good. Church should be very welcoming, or people will not want to come to church. We are told that fellowshipping builds stronger bonds, and aren’t we there to help each other become more Christlike? I do go to church for social reasons, but it is not the only reason I go. Sabbath observance is an important reason I go to church.
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