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I am a convert of 30+ years. Always deeply spiritual, I have come to may crises in my faith life. I always return to the significant moments when the Holy Spirit (as I understand it) has spoken to me. I feel the reason we lose our way is because we starve ourselves spiritually. The keys are here, we need to remember to use them. I struggle with the errors made by the church leaders in the past and in the present, but I have never been so satisfied with a cosmology as I am with LDS belief. I also find the spirit so strong in the doctrine…at least that which is not a man-made construct. Many outside the church have truth. Few have fullness. So polygamy, banning Blacks from the priesthood, the Masonic rite vs the Temple, and so many other controversies continue to trouble me, even discourage me. Not to mention the great boredom in church meetings especially when they seem to become the right-wing forum. The music needs to grow as well. The question I face now is how can I apply Christ in my life and actions. I would love to just do good in the world for the rest of my life.
As far as where I come from…converted at 19, married to a RM at 21, divorced at 35 (he cheated), 4 children, 2 missions, 3 married in the temple, married again (marriage is not for me, I guess) and very dissatisfied. I feel like my mission is over. I am seeking a new mission.
I really enjoyed the concept of the evolution of faith. I feel the church continues to evolve and needs to continue to evolve or as one might say move on to perfection.
Thinker, welcome and we will help you in any way that we can. It seems to me that you have the core faith and testimony that some of us are still struggling to rebuild so you are starting from a good spot but you need to develop and focus on a new “meaning” for your life. Yes?
I would really suggest the James Fowler threads here and hop into wikipedia for the quick and quite thorough review of his material, the link is here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stages_of_faith_development I retired several years ago and in many ways faced some of the same issues of “now what do I do that is worth doing?”. Some of that did end up leading me onto a questioning the church and its history path since I started a very intensive study of scriptures and Church history but having worked through most of the anger (I think so , I hope so
🙄 , maybe we’ll see) I find that the intensive study which is now extending into the Old Testament has been quite exciting and interesting in its own right. So knowing more has its risks but might be of interest to you.I know that it might seem simple minded but I am going to suggest that you might want to investigate some creative outlet, mine has been watercolor painting. I like the painting because it has taught me so much about actually, really seeing what is in front of my eyes and then considering how I can communicate the wonder and interest. Anyway, artistic work can provide a way to seek Christ, to seek spiritual ways of knowing that you can express in a way to others that is so very hard to say in words.
Just suggestions, welcome and please join in lots of discussions we all do better when we work together.
Welcome! I hope you feel at home here. 
Thinker wrote:The question I face now is how can I apply Christ in my life and actions. I would love to just do good in the world for the rest of my life.
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I am seeking a new mission.
Thanks for sharing your story…I have said it before here…but I’ll say again, reading the stories shared by others here on this website is what is of most value to me.
I truly admire your attitude, feel some sense of shared questions and beliefs you expressed, and yet see how your situation is unique to you.
Regardless of the specific details…I think there are many here on this site trying to seek the same thing: the new mission and how to aply Christ in life. I like your attitude that you want to do good.
Welcome to the forum. I look forward to hearing more of your questions and your viewpoints on the topics we discuss.
My faith is that through all the uncertainty and doubt…there is still growth and development that I can achieve by continuing to move forward along my journey…and I think one day I’ll understand why God is leading me in this direction and it will prove to be worthwhile in helping me do good and understand how to apply Christ’s teachings in my life.
I wish you the same! Welcome.
Welcome to our community Thinker. Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you have a pretty clear sense of the practical and spiritual in your life. That is a great base to start. It sounds like you are feeling a little stagnant, at the threshold of a new journey, but not quite sure what that will be. Like Heber13, I also benefit a lot from hearing other people’s journeys. They are interesting, uplifting and give me ideas. Welcome to the board! Here you will find friends who share many of your concerns and feelings. It is a wonderful, safe place to explore spirituality. “Ditto,” would sound flippant – but it sums up my feelings quite well. Welcome. I’m looking forward to hearing more from you.
Welcome to the site. Thinkers welcome!
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