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Have any of your leaders made you their project? My RS President has made me her pet project, she calls me everyday, emails, & texts, I’ve told her how busy I am, but that hasn’t stopped her. Now I’ve missed a few weeks of church, she wants to meet with me. I really want to tell her how making me her project isn’t helping, but I’m sure she won’t get it.
I’m hoping someone else has been through this and can give me some advice, I’m so frustrated right now I just want to scream! The calls and messages have to stop!
One of my daughters became a pet project recently for YW. A very nice young lady calls multiple times a day. I think I need to talk to her mom, who I know is well-intentioned person, and just let her know to cool it a little bit. I comes across awkward. Anyway, I haven’t really become a project. I am pretty open about the situation in my family. I think most of the time, people just don’t really know quite what to do with me. LOL. I show up at Church most Sundays, so I guess I fly under the radar in a sense.
Not everyone is really ready or comfortable to do this, but honesty seems to work pretty good. If you told her you didn’t want to come to Church, for whatever your reasons are, then she would probably back off
😈 RebelProperty wrote:Have any of your leaders made you their project?
I have been a pet project on many occasions. My favorite pet project story happened to me about 10 or 12 years ago. One evening, the EQ president called to talk. He told me that he and his counselors had been fasting and praying for me because I was inactive, and felt comfortable enough to tell me that he had received inspiration that he should call me. The EQ president told me how he regularly saw me at Sacrament meeting, but not EQ, and wanted to know if there was anything he could do to help me start attending.
Well…after listening to him for a few minutes, I politely thanked him for caring, and for doing his duty. Then I said, “Fortunately, I am not in need of your fasting and prayers because I haven’t missed church in more than 2 years – It’s just that I teach Primary and cannot attend EQ”.
His response was classic – “Oh, I’m sorry, is this Brother Jones?”
I said, “No, this is Brother P…”
He came back with, “Oh, I must have dialed the wrong number”.
I became a bit defensive, and told him it was okay but that he didn’t lie about it. Then I hung up the phone fully expecting him to call back immediately and apologize, but I never heard from him again.
I love being a project…especially when I don’t need to be.
I can’t stop laughing at wendell’s story. I would have needled that brother about it for months – so it probably is good it didn’t happen to me. My wife was asked once by someone if there was anything that she could do to help “since your husband is inactive”. I was teaching Home Study Seminary in a small branch at the time, while my wife and kids were attending our regular ward. Since I met with my students on Sunday, I didn’t attend my own ward.
I found out that something similar was asked of the RS Pres. once by a well-meaning member while I was serving on the High Council and attending another ward every week when a new Bishopric was called. That was squashed before it was mentioned to my wife, but . . .
I understand pet projects, and I can’t find it in me to be angry (since they almost always are undertaken from a foundation of concern) – but I do wish desperately that people would understand the Golden Rule well enough to honor others’ wishes. With that in mind:
Tell this person you don’t want to be a project, and you want them to stop contacting you so often and directly. Tell her calmly and carefully that Home Teaching and Visiting teaching are designed to care for the needs of the membership, and that if she really believes that Visiting Teaching is inspired you would like her to assign Visiting Teachers who will visit every month, get to know you on a personal level and love and serve you for who you are – not as a special project. Then be kind enough to try to get to know your VT if they visit regularly and love and serve them for who they are.
RebelProperty wrote:I’m hoping someone else has been through this and can give me some advice, I’m so frustrated right now I just want to scream! The calls and messages have to stop!
It sounds like it is being done out of concern…but it is hard to feel like it is just a check-box to do item for others when it is your life, and that doesn’t make it seem sincere, does it?Of course, I’ve also seen people quietly go away from the church and no one ever calls them…and they feel worse that no one cares. Sometimes people need to be fellowshipped to feel loved, sometimes they need a little space, or just a gentle check-in less frequently. It can be hard to tell individual needs sometimes, I think.
Perhaps the RS Pres just needs to be in tune a little more with what your needs are, as she is likely making the calls out of concern…but not in tune to see what she’s doing is not what you need.
I am lucky to have a bishop in tune with my needs and has left me alone, even told me last week there were groups that requested my name as consideration for callings, but he has told me he is respecting my situation and is trying to leave me alone to focus at home for a while. I appreciate that.
I don’t like the idea that people are projects, and I feel sorry for you because that must be frustrating. The only thing I can think of is to see if you can email her or give her feedback of what you think would be best for you, and ask her if she can do that…if she really loves you, she’ll respect your needs, I think. I don’t know if that works…but I’d be interested to hear how it works out, or if you end up needing her one day and her calls are “inspired” for that day.
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