mormonmama

Hi Mormonmama,

Welcome to the StayLDS community. We can understand your mixture of paradoxical emotions and thoughts about the Church. I hope you can find a sense of community here to explore ideas in your own personal journey. I look forward to hearing more from you.

It’s amazing to me how the dynamic of a Relief Society can change depending on who’s president.

I liked this statement. It made me also think about how dynamic these organizations can be when people like us stay engaged in them in spite of our doubts and concerns. I have this strong sense of responsibility to the Mormon “tribe” that raised me. How can I complain if I don’t try to be part of the solution. “Someone” should change things. Well … who is that “someone” going to be if not me? I can’t change the world, the whole Church, or anything like that. I am no longer interested in that grand crusade. I can make a difference with my family, my children, and my local ward.

mm – welcome to the site! I too find the practical benefits of the church to be of great value. Glad to have you here.

I I want strong daughters without needing to be reassured by the Priesthood that they have worth.

So beautifully said…and welcome Mormonmama!

I liked your entire post, but wanted to comment on this eloquent line — I see the church “culture” evolving to this attitude (I don’t think the pure doctrines teach what you said, but it is certainly taught anyway…). I think it is all about learning we are each beautiful and worthy, no matter if we have children, get married or not, work in or outside the home, or even support gay rights!

IOW, it’s not really about what one “does,” it’s how one finds self-love, forgiveness, and connection with “God” — however they define “Him.” To me, that is the truth of the gospel, and what Jesus ultimately taught.

It looks like you will fit in nicely here!

My advice to any parent is to teach your children the gospel not the interperations(sp) of the brothers and sisters.

Amen!

I was reading through a talk by E. Scott (Honor the Priesthood and Use it Well: http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-15,00.html” class=”bbcode_url”>http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-15,00.html) in the Oct ’08 Priesthood Session. His main points I really liked:

– Priesthood is about service, not self. “The perfect role model for use of the holy priesthood is our Savior, Jesus Christ. He ministered with love, compassion, and charity. His life was a matchless example of humility and power. The greatest blessings from the use of the priesthood flow from humble service to others without thought of self. By following His example as a faithful, obedient priesthood bearer, we can access great power. When required, we can exercise the power of healing, of blessing, of consoling, and of counseling, as the quiet promptings of the Spirit are faithfully followed.”

– Family relationships are a key component to worthiness. “If you are divorced, do you provide for the real financial need of the children you have fathered, not just the minimum legal requirement? If you are married, are you faithful to your wife mentally as well as physically? Are you loyal to your marriage covenants by never engaging in conversation with another woman that you wouldn’t want your wife to overhear? Are you kind and supportive of your own wife and children? Do you assist your wife by doing some of the household chores? Do you lead out in family activities such as scripture study, family prayer, and family home evening, or does your wife fill in the gap your lack of attention leaves in the home? Do you tell her you love her?”

– Men need to commit to equal partnerships. “The family proclamation states that a husband and wife should be equal partners. I feel assured that every wife in the Church would welcome that opportunity and support it. Whether it occurs or not depends upon the husband. Many husbands practice equal partnership with their companion to the benefit of both and the blessing of their children. However, many do not. I encourage any man who is reluctant to develop an equal partnership with his wife to obey the counsel inspired by the Lord and do it. Equal partnership yields its greatest benefit when both husband and wife seek the will of the Lord in making important decisions for themselves and for their family.”

– Leadership includes the counsel of women. “As a bishop, be sensitive and attentive to the sisters who serve in your ward council. They can identify the needs of the women in your ward who are not blessed with priesthood in the home. Through a home visit, the Relief Society can identify needs and recommend solutions to you. For matters beyond the scope of the Relief Society, you can call upon the elders quorum or the high priests group to provide assistance according to the need.”

– Men need to improve how they listen to women. “As a bishop, when you counsel with a husband and wife who are in marital difficulty, do you give the same credence to the statements of the woman that you do to the man? As I travel throughout the world, I find that some women are shortchanged in that a priesthood leader is more persuaded by a son rather than a daughter of Father in Heaven. That imbalance simply must never occur.”

– Men need to remember all women. “Do single sisters receive the consideration and attention they deserve when they attend family wards? Do they have opportunities to serve in significant callings where they are made to feel welcome and wanted? Do they receive the required priesthood support?”

– Cultural traditions that place men above women are not compatible with church teachings. “The purpose of priesthood authority is to give, to serve, to lift, to inspire—not to exercise unrighteous control or force. In some cultures, tradition places a man in a role to dominate, control, and regulate all family affairs. That is not the way of the Lord. In some places the wife is almost owned by her husband, as if she were another of his personal possessions. That is a cruel, unproductive, mistaken vision of marriage encouraged by Lucifer that every priesthood holder must reject. It is founded on the false premise that a man is somehow superior to a woman. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The scriptures confirm that Father in Heaven saved His greatest, most splendid, supreme creation, woman, to the end. Only after all else was completed was woman created. Only then was the work pronounced complete and good.”

So, I didn’t love everything in the talk, but these were some valuable points he made.

I I want strong daughters without needing to be reassured by the Priesthood that they have worth.

So beautifully said…and welcome Mormonmama!

I liked your entire post, but wanted to comment on this eloquent line — I see the church “culture” evolving to this attitude (I don’t think the pure doctrines teach what you said, but it is certainly taught anyway…). I think it is all about learning we are each beautiful and worthy, no matter if we have children, get married or not, work in or outside the home, or even support gay rights!

IOW, it’s not really about what one “does,” it’s how one finds self-love, forgiveness, and connection with “God” — however they define “Him.” To me, that is the truth of the gospel, and what Jesus ultimately taught.

It looks like you will fit in nicely here!

This is an interesting idea (referring to MM’s quote). Needing a man to have worth is an interesting idea because it is often the relationship of the girl to her father that seems to make such a difference in how she ends up measuring her worth. So while we do need to help our girls see their worth, I don’t think we can underestimate the power of a loving and attentive father.

And I agree Rix that the trend of the church is changing a bit. I just don’t think the trials of the last days allow us to remain in the nice mormon box of all the list of mormon “doings”. That doesn’t underestimate the importance of good works and loving behaviors. I think it just makes the expression of them spring from a better place inside of us.

Thanks for all the warm welcomes everyone.

I use to love baring my testimony in sacrament and now I’m afraid to. I don’t know what would be considered taboo and more than that I can’t say that ‘I know that it’s true’ about so many aspects that I stay sitting and I have been waiting for a better way to articulate how I feel, why I go and what keeps me wanting to have the gospel in my house.

Poppyseed- I use to bare my testimony as often as possible. I loved feeling the Spirit when I did and now I hesitate because I am still working out what I DO believe. I started questioning simple things like whether there really was inspiration behind every calling. If there isn’t inspiration behind every calling then that would mean that the leaders of the church aren’t ALWAYS speaking through the Spirit. If they aren’t always speaking through the Spirit then callings are given because it’s a part of managing the ward, stake, etc. This brought me to looking at the organization of the church as exactly that. It’s a large organization, an institution. I found some information about Joseph Smith that made me question even more and pretty soon I was questioning everything. Is there really modern day revelation? What about the temple? There’s tons of questions there.

I have more questions but I don’t need to throw them all out there. What I do know is that I feel something when I pray. I feel something when I read my scriptures. I still believe in the Book of Mormon. I’ve had too many personal experiences to believe that it was all made up and so far I haven’t found any really damning evidence to prove it false. My first and only real testimony building experience was when I read the Book of Mormon and the New Testament and prayed about the truthfulness of the BoM and asked for a testimony of Christ. These two moments keep me grounded to mormonism.

I no longer see myself leaving but I can’t go back to not asking questions either. I was listening to the 3 podcasts about the Stages of Faith and I kept crying. I didn’t know that there was a process to what I’m going through and I have only been hoping that there is something beyond my fear of the unknown and my comfort at feeling more sure about the things I do believe.

In a nutshell, that’s why I don’t bare my testimony. I won’t say something just because it’s commonly said and expected and I don’t want to say something that will push someone into asking questions if they’re not ready.

I am uncomfortable with the idea of my daughters growing up surrounded by people telling them that their greatest achievement will be to have children. That being said, I am a SAHM of four children and I homeschool my two school age kids and I wouldn’t change anything about them but I want them all, boy or girl, to get a full education, as much education as they can handle. I want strong daughters without needing to be reassured by the Priesthood that they have worth. I think that a lot of this stigma actually comes from other women perpetuating a belief.

Mormonmama, I really enjoyed your post. Thanks, and welcome to the group.

I have 2 teenage daughters, and feel strongly the same as you…they need to be raised to believe they are strong girls, and don’t need to rely on others, but should balance their worth and own life values and desires with a healthy respect for Priesthood that supports them and serves them, not dominates over them, nor do they need to disrespect it believing all Priesthood leaders are sexist bigots.

Education is critical to them understanding this and I talk to them both about finding what they want to do, and either study abroad for a great experience, or even seek to serve a mission for that experience, but they don’t need to rush off to be married and have kids…although both of them really look forward to that stage in life.

Welcome to the group…I look forward to hearing more from you.