Why should I stay?

There is only one reason to stay: being LDS does something valuable for you.

Now that could be something as small as a well-organized system of opportunities to serve others (which brings you value). A lot of members stay because they want to be in the “one true church” (being right). Some find many teachings to be enlightening. Some like the social community or the family values. There are as many reasons as people.

You don’t have to stay though. It’s just another one of the many choices in life. Could you find the things you seek elsewhere? Yes. Probably most of them. For me personally, I could probably piece together most of what I want from various other sources, churches and organizations. I could spend some time at the UU Church for a sense of overall love and acceptance, then hit the Masonic Lodge to contemplate symbolism and ritual, then go visit the Catholic Church to get a great does of the awe and majesty of Christianity, schedule in some time with some Buddhists for meditation, then go find a few community service organizations so that I could put the concepts of charity and compassion into practice in my local community.

But then I realize … I can do all that just fine as a Mormon. No, I don’t get it all fed to me just like I want it, but now that I am free, I can supplement with things here and there to fill in any gaps on my own. I’m comfortable and familiar with Mormonism.

BTW, many people that stay here on the boards voted for Obama and have more liberal leanings.

Anyway … in the end, it’s just a choice one makes. This is just my own personality, but to me it’s a “business decision.” I think there’s a great spiritual return on investment in Mormonism.

RebelProp – I am a political independent, and I voted for Obama. My home ward was predominantly liberal, so much so that I thought the church was Democrat until I went to BYU and discovered that I had that totally backwards.

Your loss of TR is not a foregone conclusion either, based on your comments. There is some discretion on the part of the bishop and SP in how your worthiness is gauged. Personally, I think you make it easier by not having a lengthy discussion in the TR interview, but instead determining your own worthiness before entering that interview (or if needed, in a separate discussion). Truly, some leaders would go with a “when in doubt, don’t sign” and others would go with a “when in doubt, sign it.” I think a lot depends on their personality. Most of the questions ask if you have “faith” (in the belief questions). Faith is not knowing. Faith is hope in something – a positive expectation toward that thing. I think that’s a pretty low bar, much lower than we think. Because people are generally unwilling to speak in such tentative terms in the church, those who are struggling often think they are the only one. That’s a mistake. No one has certain knowledge. Everyone is just speaking from their own experiences, feelings, and hopes.

As a parent, I see the great benefits to my kids that come from being in the church. The other thing I really love is the practical value of callings. It’s a way to serve the church community that stretches my skills and ability. I was contemplating what I liked about the church, and I did a post on 10 Things I’m Thankful for about the church. Everyone has their own, but here are mine: http://mormonmatters.org/2009/11/25/10-lds-things-im-thankful-for/” class=”bbcode_url”>http://mormonmatters.org/2009/11/25/10-lds-things-im-thankful-for/

So, I agree with Valoel, that only you can decide for yourself. It has taken me a while to come up with my 10 things, but that process has solidified my commitment.

What Valoel and Ray said. Stay if you think it’s a good business decision. Stay to save the church from quiescent uniformity.

If you are stressing over it, spend some time elsewhere for a while (UU, Catholic, Buddhist meditation, the mountains). Make your decision slowly and carefully.

Tom

You should stay because it helps the rest of us. I do not hold with the notion that people leave because they feel they do not fit in. It’s not that I am 100% sure the church is true but I do know it has good that you can benefit from. My biggest concern however is when people with different viewpoints keep leaving it just strengthens the emotion driven testimony junkies that are left. If we really want a church that is more open and tolerant we have to stay and make it that way.

I do not agree with your politics by a long shot but I know we a stronger with you than without you. Stay around make some members nervous and uncomfortable it is good for them. I personally attend all my meetings and I do it on my terms. I contribute where I can and participate fully. I am not disruptive but I choose carefully where to make my point of view heard.

We all can make a difference if we choose to.

Well said Cadence! I feel very much like that too. I can wish all I want that members of the Church were different. If I stay though, being someone who is in fact very different, then I can stake a claim to making that wish happen, even if in a small way. The more we “misfit toys” stay, that is what will make the LDS Church diverse. It challenges me personally to be there. It’s a good thing. I challenge other members at times (like you said, when the times are right). It’s good for them too.

Today, our GD teacher insisted that the Son was speaking to Moses in the PoGP Moses 1:6 – even though the speaker clearly speaks of “mine Only Begotten”. He mentioned divine investiture and said that the Father NEVER appeared to anyone prior to Joseph Smith – that when it appeared to be the Father, it really was the Son speaking for the Father. I saw concerned looks and slight head-shaking among the members, so I raised my hand and said that I don’t really care who is speaking in cases like that (whether it’s the Father, or if it’s the Son speaking for the Father) as long as we understand that the words are the Father’s and that there are a Father and a Son.

Now, if I had taught that lesson, I would have mentioned that there are different ways that passages like this are seen and interpreted by members but that the important thing is to realize that the words and the message came from the Father.

My point in mentioning this here is NOT to start a debate about divine investiture. I really don’t care about that topic – not one bit. I just want to share that one of the leaders in the ward talked with me after the lesson had ended and said they agreed with me – but didn’t want to challenge the teacher (who is a good man and a wonderful teacher) openly in front of everyone.

I think that happens WAY more often than most people realize, and calm, loving, non-attacking comments are needed when there is disagreement. People who see and think and believe differently MUST stay and contribute. They just must.

After reading what I wrote in Poppyseed’s quote, I realized I was not clear with what I meant. I don’t intend to change individual people at Church by being there. I meant that the Church will have a more diverse membership if I stay an active member because I will be someone in the population who is different. If I leave, then the symphony is made up of only piccolos. If I stay, then they have a skilled kazoo player too , not that I want to turn all of them into kazoo players.