Love and Fear

I attended a seminar once, a long long time ago (back in the 1980’s) — one of those self-improvement types of deals. One of the few profound things that I remember was how they talked about our motivations. They categorized them into three broad ideas (please note, most people and groups use different mixtures of all these, not just one):

1. The lowest level = Fear.

Having fear or creating fear is a powerful motivator. ALL people will respond to fear at some point, on some level. So fear is effective in that it reaches the most people with the least amount of effort. Wave a gun around in a public place? Yeah, that isn’t that hard to do. You will immediately get everyone’s attention and they will listen to you … for a short period of time.

On a less extreme level, many large organizations use this: Governments, Religions, Social Organizations, etc. They use it because it reaches a large number of people easily. It just isn’t the best motivation. It is a very poor way to inspire people, but it works. The problem is people are not generally as enthusiastic in this frame of mind. When the focus of fear diminishes at times, we tend to scatter or lose focus. It tends to create a lot of resentment and anger of prolonged periods.

2. The middle level = Duty.

This is sort of a middle ground between fear and the best (next) motivation. People are self-motivated on some level with this emotion. It still has a flavor of compulsion which can create resentment. People still feel like they have to do things when bound by a duty. This is more effective than fear, but it is harder and takes more effort for leaders to instill a sense of duty or loyalty. The same applies to us on a personal level.

3. The highest form of motivation = Love

When we love something, that is where heart and mind are focused. When someone loves them self, loves others, or loves and idea, they need much less supervision. People who love are fully self-motivated. They will seek out all that they want and need. The hard part? Well this is VERY difficult to instill in others as a leader. It is also very difficult for us to develop within our self. It takes the most time and effort to cultivate, and is VERY difficult for large organizations to use as a form of motivation.

So which type should we use? Ahhhh, that’s the 64 million dollar question. It would seem easy! Love! Always motivate others and our self with love. It’s the best. Love or nothing! The problem is you can’t just jump into that immediately on any practical, realistic level. Some can? Sure, maybe a few. But it takes so long to cultivate.

How do we motivate our children as parents? Well we often start with fear. Let’s be honest. It works. It works fast. Even a small child can understand the threat of a spanking or a “time out.” They may not be able to comprehend picking up their toys out of love for a clean and orderly environment.

How do we motivate our self? We often have to start with fear — of failure, of not being able to support our self (survival instinct), of being alone, etc. It would be much better if we knew what we loved and sought after that. It would be better if we could love those around us and see the best way to form relationships. But we don’t. We often need life experience before we can achieve that level of personal and social motivation.

Now to the point of the OP. How should the Church motivate people, as an organization engaged in the business of personal and social transformation? Well DUH! Everyone should love God and love being a good, moral, compassionate person. That is the best and “true” path to those goals. But the Church is made up of many people of different ages, backgrounds, and levels of spirituality and enlightenment. If we are talking about the view from the top leadership down, they will reach the most people with some level of fear. And let me be clear, I don’t think most “leaders” really think about this all consciously and purposely. They just work from a gut instinct more or less. But fear works.

Some level of fear of failure, punishment or social isolation is a motivator that reaches a bulk of people AND THOSE PEOPLE NEED THIS. Perhaps that sounds too Machiavellian, but I think it is true. Think of someone who is really quite far from spiritual enlightenment. Think of a hardened criminal (just to pick an extreme example). You really might not even be able to talk to them about love and other lofty ideals, not when they are all wrapped up in a fear-based life perspective of survival, where the strong and violent have power and the weak are the victims. I also think of a novel I read recently called “The Pillars of the Earth” which was set in medieval England. There were several occasions in the book where a priest acted as a protector to the weak by standing as an accuser when evil soldiers or raiders were attempting to kill and plunder. They would stand their ground and threaten the bad guys with the fires of eternal damnation, and the soldiers would slink away in fear for their souls. Is that a stupid motivation to get people to stop killing and raping villagers? It worked, and a nice speech about love and enlightenment would not work in the heat of the moment with such a crass and brutal audience.

Duty is better. Our Church also has messages of Duty. I think the priesthood body uses this idea a lot.

Love. I think our Church also teaches love. That is really the best. If that is the message we are hearing, we are ready to build our life on this motivation. The fact they still talk about and use those other motivations should become like a noisy buzz in our ear, but with about as much meaning. Having love fill our beings leaves little if any room for fear. Just ignore that. It’s not your message.

Orson, you bring up a very important point, especially for our children. A healthy fear of getting hit by a car is a good thing for a small child to have. I agree completely.

All very good comments. So fear is an effective motivator at times. Especially when we need to compel individuals to do the right thing, such as the example of keeping a child out of the street. I agree with this. I guess my concern comes in when fear is used to get compliance with a principle that is false or of minimal importance. I guess I could use the WoW as an example. YOu have the fear of losing your TR if you do not comply, but this is really a minor issue that has been elevated to a level of importance beyond rational. So in this case fear is used for no reason. Of course that is just my opinion. Someone else will come along and say the WoW is so very important. But for sure there are things within the church that we do out of fear that are of minimal or no importance in the big scheme of things.

But for sure there are things within the church that we do out of fear that are of minimal or no importance in the big scheme of things.

I don’t – so “we” don’t – and, as I said in my other comment, overall “The Church” doesn’t nearly as much as most religions.

I’m not trying to dismiss the issue or even de-value it. It is real, and it is important. However, on a personal level, I don’t do one single thing in the Church out of fear (as you are defining it) – and I’d bet my last dollar that the same can be said accurately about far more members than you are implying.

One other thing to consider – something I loathe (and I use that term intentionally) about lots of anti-Mormon sites:

It’s easy to take something like a desire to reach the Celestial Kingdom and live eternally with one’s spouse and present it as a fear-based motivation and teaching. It’s easy to say that such a desire really is a fear of losing one’s beloved spouse. That is only one example I’ve seen over and over and over again from opponents of religion, generally, and Mormonism, specifically, that is repugnant.

By such twisted logic, anything can be turned into a fear-based motivation and a negative teaching. Love thine enemy? Well, really that’s done out of a fear of going to Hell – not out of a genuine desire to love others. Share with others? Well, really that’s done out of a fear of rejection (the other side of a desire for social acceptance) or a crass desire to buy converts – not out of genuine concern for them. Follow the Word of Wisdom? Well, really that’s done out of a fear of sickness and cancer and becoming an alcoholic or losing a temple recommend – not out of a belief that such a standard will help some immeasurably and isn’t important enough to fight or a deep desire to participate in the temple ordinances. Change former doctrines that used to be believed passionately? Well, really that’s done out of a fear of losing membership – not out of a recognition of greater truth or out of a belief in actual revelation.

We have to be VERY careful, imo, to separate out what truly is fear-based AND bad, what is fear-based and NOT bad (in and of itself), what is fear-based and misapplied (and, therefore, bad) and what really isn’t fear-based in its pure form. We also have to recognize that MOST people interpret a teaching as fear-based due strictly to how they have seen that teaching presented to themselves and/or others – and based on their own natural personalities. As usual for me, focus and precision are important with a topic like this.

But, in this process, she has overcome all fear. She is so infinitely certain, that all of her fears are gone. And, having come from a broken home, abusive mother, abusive husband, etc., she has had to deal with alot of fear.

God bless her. May nobody ever challenge her certainty out of a misguided or arrogant belief that she simply must see nuances. If black-and-white works for her, praise be to God for allowing her to find it.

I really liked Ray’s comment. There is certainly a difference between desiring something and doing something out of fear, and I agree that this argument has been worn out by those who oppose religions.

However, I feel I must try to see their side of the coin too. In the past religions have twisted these sorts of rewards that someone might strive for into tools of manipulation, even moving into priestcraft, bribery, and blackmail. In Mormonism, I don’t see this sort of thing, but I must confess that I have met my fair share of Mormons in Happy Valley who do things out of fear. Most of the fear I saw in Happy Valley was fear of how righteous or unrighteous one would appear to others. This sort of fear has absolutely nothing to do with the doctrines of the Gospel, and little to do with the church itself. It has everything to do with human pride, envy, and culture though.

I think having a more liberated belief allows you to have the freedom to be who you want to be and not who you are told to be. I believe this motivation has healthier outcomes.

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