Met wiith my Bishop and WOW!

This afternoon I had a meeting with my Bishop. I struggled with doing this but my internal voice kept prompting me to do so. I woke up and had another impression. I decided before I went to the Bishop I would go to another Christian Church in the morning. I felt so much spirit at this Christian Church. I cried several times and felt the love of God and saw the goodness in humanity there. I also noticed that they taught the same principles and preached the same doctrine regarding Christ and the Bible that I was familiar with. I was surprised at the amount of warmth and comfort I felt there. I saw mothers and fathers baptize their children and each other. I saw people express the power of Christ in their life’s through stories. It was a huge comfort to me. The pastor told a sermon about a church in India where men that had raped a woman for believing in Christ were baptized by the same woman. How Christ had changed their life’s and allowed her to forgive them and accept that change. This helped me clarify my experiences and repentance process as I prepared to meet with my local ward Bishop.

I felt very impressed to just share everything with him that I have experienced with my wife. I expressed to him my belief that God had already forgiven me but I still felt I needed to share this with him. Now the sins which I did could have put me into disfellowship with the wrong leader. I decided it didn’t matter what he did to me, that God still wanted me to do this despite that decision. I knew I was already forgiven. Because this experience included my wife I knew that it could potentially put her into trouble as well. This was my main concern as my marriage means a lot to me but my inner voice said I still needed to do this. Part of me wondered if my future was going to be outside the church after today. Most importantly I felt forgiven but felt impressed to talk to him, a stranger though Bishop, about it. I assumed he would be hard on me and that in the end I would have to consider my next steps. Instead he said something that blew me away. He said that each of us have different sets of challenges. He said that I should allow my wife to believe and choose her path. That though he appreciated me confessing to him, that repentance is with the Lord. He said my wife’s choices and repentance was a personal matter. He also said that my repentance process and my relationship with Christ was a personal matter. He invited us to keep attending. I was also surprised how he responded to my doctrinal issues. He said, “join the club. Everyone struggles with these things. We all fall in and out of beliefs. We are here to support each other through this.”

He did have two main concerns though: The first was that I would let my wife deal with repentance in her own way and not try to convince her of one way or the other. He again emphasized the importance of an individuals relationship with God. He also mentioned that I should not worry about others opinions of my life choices, such as my parents, and focus on my needs. He wants both my wife and I to feel welcome and attend. He said that “Grace” is in our church and so is having a personal and direct relationship with God. That just because I felt a needed to confide in him doesn’t mean my wife does or needs to. He assured me that we are welcome.

Okay now for the punishment:

He did put me on informal probation but not for the reasons I thought. He is concerned about me drinking. He worries that if I do this regularly it could become a crutch for me. I admitted that I worried about that as well. He said that we should meet in two weeks again to see how things are going. Other then that he told me to withhold from partaking of the sacrament until our next meeting, using this time to reflect on drinking. I accepted this.

I am so surprised of this Bishop. I wonder if he has been through what I am going through to some degree? He was so kind. My wife is floored over this. She says, “you are lucky.” Now my wife is more interested in attending the church with me next week. She firmly believes that this was a good indication that there are members in the church that understand what it means to accept the Lords Grace.

I learned a lot today. I’m so grateful that I listened to my inner voice and met with the Bishop. I am starting to understand what it means to be unique and rely on my relationship with God. I also wanted to point out that the Christian church I attended this morning had a massive congregation. They promoted family values, Christ’s atonement, strong marriages, clean living, and even supported a measure to be placed on the ballet for a vote in California. Yes they encouraged us to all sign it on our way out the door. They promoted going on missions and encouraged everyone to go down and pick up some literature to share with others. Sounds a lot like our church! That’s basically what I’ve seen in our church. One thing I really liked was that people dressed to their own styles and they have a really good rock band. There are a lot more similarities than differences. This experience has changed me in a way I can’t express. I am so grateful I listened to my inner voice on this one. Where I go from here is up to me and the Lord.

Well there you all go. What are your thoughts on this?