Testimony is Changing

Welcome! I can certainly relate to what you have been feeling!

Welcome.

The shock of shattering cultural perspectives can be difficult – and it’s one of the main reasons I want my sons and daughters to serve a mission, ironically. They have been raised “in the mission field” – but there is an extra perspective that comes from learning to love those who are very different and realizing that they are every bit as “good” and “righteous” in many cases as “good, righteous” Mormons. That exposure can lead someone to what I call “pure Mormonism” and away from “dominant culture Mormonism” – and I want my children to see, understand and practice “pure Mormonism”.

I hope you can come to recognize that difference, as well, and “embrace truth wherever it may be” – which, to me, is the heart of “pure Mormonism” and “continuing revelation”.

How are you with prayer? A loving God won’t leave you all to yourself if you aren’t demanding to be left to yourself. This struggle WILL pass with God’s help and you praying for it, and you WILL come out of it with a clearer and purer understanding of necessary things. Be very patient, this is all in the Lord’s hand and in His timing.

I’m wondering how either of you approach church history with your kids.

I do it openly and honestly, but from a foundation of a faithful believer. Iow, I have chosen to believe the basic restoration narrative, and I tend to focus on what I have structured as “my own, personal faith”. I’ve had a few experiences that have convinced me that God lives (or that there is a God, if you will), and I absolutely love the overall cosmology of the LDS Church – so I take the Allegory of the Olive Tree in Jacob 5 and teach my kids that “apostasy” exists inside and outside of everything, including the Church. I try to teach them the GOSPEL, as best I understand it, and I try to show them how to strive to develop the characteristics of godliness laid out in the Sermon on the Mount, Paul’s discourse of charity, the gifts of the spirit passages, etc.

I also write my own personal blog in order to record my thoughts and feelings and beliefs for others – but especially for my children and posterity. I want them to know what I believe, and I am very open on my blog about what I believe. It has “faithful” posts, and it has “questioning” posts, and it has “wishful” posts, and it has “frustrated” posts – but the overall tone is intentionally uplifting and positive.

Finally, I try hard to model repentance for my children – and to show them that I can disagree with church leaders on some things and still support and sustain them as Prophets, apostles, Stake Presidents, Bishops, Relief Society Presidents, fellow members, friends, etc. We talk all the time about things people say with which I disagree, but I ALWAYS end it on a positive note – like “but s/he is a good person trying his/her hardest to do what is right, so I support her/him in her/his calling”.

Thank you for sharing.

First…welcome!

I like your title, “Testimony is Changing.” That’s a very concise way to say what’s going on with most of us here. Growing up, when we were asked to “bare our testimony,” it was expected for us to say “I know the church is true, Joseph was a prophet, etc.” I think we can view this cultural process much like working for a company who has everybody repeat the mission statement of the organization at the beginning of each day. Or even when we say the pledge of allegiance in unison at times.

The similarity of these “rituals” is no accident, IMO. “We” are a unique culture. We support and give service to each other. We teach other’s children in church meetings, we home and visit teach, we take meals to the sick. We have a common goal and purpose.

As with the other rituals, at times we may not agree with all the words said. When that happens, we can either:

1) disassociate from the “culture;”

2) try to change the culture from within; or

3) stay quiet and don’t let the teachings we disagree with bother us.

I would guess many here have tried a few, or all of the above…and settled into doing a bit of 2 and 3.

Here’s one way I view “church.” We humans are social creatures. There is a certain amount of human interaction we desire. It stimulates us. And of course we all need help once in a while. I think we are wired to help and be helped.

Church affords us this opportunity. To an extent, there is a spiritual uplifting we get when we serve each other. Perhaps this is what we really have a “testimony” of. We just say different words. That bothers some…not others. We each need to find our peace with what is important to us individually.