- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Some days I just get somber and feel melancholy. I’m sure everyone does from time to time and to differing degrees. Sometimes there is a specific event or root cause to feeling sad, like if someone says something or something happens to me. And sometimes there may not be something specific, I just am not in a good mood that day.
I think regardless of the reasons “Why?” I may feel the emotion, fact is I have to deal with it and decide what to do about it.
I find it interesting my heart often turns to God during sad times, like my prayers are more intense, or I start thinking I should be more diligent at church…sometimes I think if I was closer to God I wouldn’t be sad or the sad events would have been shielded from me by some heavenly intervention, and since I am weak and slack off on seeking the spirit to guide me…God leaves things alone and the sadness is a result of lack of intervention.
My new faith doesn’t support that idea…I think God mostly lets things happen to me, regardless of whether I’m spiritually strong or not…it is more likely just that internally I am more happy and able to deal with things that keep me from being sad, regardless of the weather in the outside world.
It gave me a thought that I wonder how others get over sad emotions, so I thought I’d make a poll.
Neal A Maxwell gave a great talk once about overcoming feelings of inadequacy, which is helpful for me to read when I need some encouragement (read article here:
Neal A. Maxwell, “Notwithstanding My Weakness,” Ensign, Nov 1976, 12) Perhaps we can discuss ways of overcoming sad emotions or experiences you’ve had in dealing with times of prolonged or intense sadness.
Is it a bad thing? Should we strive for eliminating sadness? How?
I tend to do one of two things: 1. Go into what I call “problem solving mode,” which I know about myself is a way of disconnecting from the emotions I am feeling. It is both a positive and negative way of dealing with it at the same time. I will “disconnect” and start addressing the causes, finding solutions, researching the answers, focusing on stuff outside of me…
2. Escape. I can’t really sleep during the day. I know some people who get depressed simply go back to bed. When I am up, my mind is just rolling, and there is always something I want to do. I don’t watch much television. I play video games perhaps to escape from my emotions and life, but not really that much. I used to do this more when I was younger — go into a fantasy world. I suppose online forums serve this purpose for me sometimes, escaping into other people’s problems to avoid feeling my own. Yeah. I definitely do that. But I also go someplace all alone, like a park, and read a book or sketch. That tends to be a pretty healthy escape, where I can recharge and get my head and heart right. I’m an introvert (even if I can pull of a great extrovert act), and I know that I recharge this way, in solitude.
I try to talk to my wife, but it only drives her nuts because I keep bringing up the issue from different angles, analyzing it for every single bit of knowledge or truth it might contain. I try to problem solve and share my thoughts but she’s normally not interested beyond the initial description of the problem and her presentation of a usually shallow solution. Eventually I make my own decision about how to handle the situation. Occasionally I’ll post it in a forum like this, but rarely.
I do try to pray about it, although I normally don’t find that effective in helping me much. After my own thinking and analyzing, sometimes I hit on some nugget of truth, or I end up drawing a conclusion about life the directs my behavior in other contexts for a long time to prevent the sadness from happening again.
Right now, I’m struggling with a person I report to who hoodwinked me into accepting a very time consuming assignment by misrepresenting the amount of work involved. This made me sad as over-work is a trigger for depression for me. So far, I haven’t succumbed to depression, but I truly feel sad about the amount of work I have to do. I considered quitting on him mid-project. However, he also provides an income to me in a different context, and I’m afraid he’ll fire me from that other income-producing job he provides if I leave him hanging mid-project.
So, I decided to work my hinus off and get the project over with well before the deadline so it no longer causes angst. And then, I’m NEVER agreeing to do any more projects for this man ever again. I have also concluded that he lacks integrity and has power to challenge my inner peace – that is a life conclusion for me. It will direct my behavior in the future as I will never agree to do another project for this man ever again — not out of anger, but out of self-protection given his repeated tendencies to overwork me and his ability to present a challenge to my happiness that takes mental effort to overcome.
That’s how I’m dealing with sadness right now.
It is not problems that make me sad but some days I just wake up that way and I think it might last forever. But the next day is fine. My neighbor said that those days are thinking days! I tend to read and eat chocolate those days and try not to let it make me feel guilty! I’m not honest or mature enough to answer this poll. I still have Ego identification as “a happy person”. Peaceandjoy wrote:It is not problems that make me sad but some days I just wake up that way and I think it might last forever. But the next day is fine. My neighbor said that those days are thinking days! I tend to read and eat chocolate those days and try not to let it make me feel guilty!
“thinking days” … I like that. I think it is ok to have those sometimes.
Quote:I’m not honest or mature enough to answer this poll. I still have Ego identification as “a happy person”
you’re a good man, Tom. If maturing means becoming sad, we should all be immature, huh?
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.