Not sure I can handle Girls Camp

I am DREADING it! I don’t think I can do this, I shouldn’t be doing this, I am not the person they should want to be an example to these girls. What can I do? How can I fulfill this calling in my present state of mind?

Two thoughts:

1. Can you tell your bishop this?

2. Why do you doubt your spiritual status? Are you in an angry period? Maybe you can take along your favorite inspirational material and use it personally and refer to it. I bet the girls need the authentic you.

I am so sorry for your predicament. I really doubt any one will want to step in as camp leader with such little notice … of course if you have medical emergency someone will have to step in and no explanation will be needed

I hate to be the pessamist but I know of many times where what was said to the Bishop was ultimately passed along to many leaders because they were trying to figure out new callings, home teaching assignments and so on. My advice is if you talk to the Bishop only say what you are comfortable having passed along to the Bishops counselors, EQ, RS and YW leaders. What you say you cant take back so if you live in a small town or neighborhood use all the more caution. I dont know your ward or Bishop but the risks are it could go great or your privacy is now forever gone. I know Bishops have great intentions but the reality is that there are normally more callings then people to fill them. TBM’s havent been conditioned to negociate boundaries with their ward, leaders and callings. For me boundaries are my best friend. Establishing and defining the boundaries that I needed to make me happy and healthy was very uncomfortable to do at first but now I will never go back. I wish you all the best.

As it is you may have to deal with it this year because others are depending on you, but just opt out next year with plenty of notice.

I agree with what Cadence said above. When people are depending on you, it’s important to follow through, especially this close to he event.

I have a few suggestions to help you get throught it:

1. Approach your lack of bonding with the new girls with an attitude of charity — to get to know them and care for them for who they are. Forget doctrine or Church policy and your doubts etcetera — relate to the girls on a human to human level for who they are, to strengthen them through your investment in them. You may find you care much more deeply about them after girl’s camp is over. Don’t let your current lack of closelness with them interfere with the expression of your charitable character.

2. Shelve the doubts for now and delegate to others those things you don’t want to talk about that are spiritual in nature — as you did in the past. If you HAVE to be spiritual, then focus on general spirituality like having a positive attitude, getting close to God, loving others, etcetera — those aspects of our religion that are common to all religions. Use any scriptures in this way — not as statements of Church doctrine or evidence the Church is true, but because they are simply universal, true principles that will bless anyone’s lives, LDS or not. There are a lot of universal principles in our scriptures you can draw upon.

3. Keep your doubts to yourself. You don’t want to cut off future opportunities to serve by expressing your doubts to your Bishop or other leaders. Express them here and get feedback, and keep trying to work through them.

Hope that helps….

If I were in your situation, I would probably grit my teeth and bear it and not stress over camp more than I have to, but focus on what needs to get done and not place the burden of making camp “perfect” on myself.

While I agree with Cadence in principle, in your situation it sounds like you’ve known about this for a long time (at least since last year), it seems you shouldn’t back out with only 1 month for them to replace you. If possible, get this year over with, and then have the talk with your bishop that you’ve done your time and can’t do it next year.

There could be some strategies to help get through this year…like focusing on the needs of the young girls instead of doctrine…focusing on the practical things of food and activities without making it about faith.

I also think there is still time with a month away for you to try to enlist some help from parents or other adult leaders including the bishopric to help you, especially if you tell them you are overwhelmed and need help.

In the end, do the best you can and then let it go. There could be some good experiences that come from it.

I am very, very protective of my time and my family’s priorities and am willing to say no to any church service that is out of harmony with my family’s needs…but I also try to follow through on commitments and know that serving does have benefits that help me as a person. I’m sure you do tons of service too, but you may be stuck with camp this year, and just need to find ways to help yourself get through it. If you really feel you can’t…then discussing it with your bishop sooner rather than later is a good idea…he may have ideas on how to lessen the load. Those are my thoughts.

Sam makes a great point, my girls need someone like you in their camp! They mostly have leaders reminding them to not hold hands with boys … 🙄

My daughter just got back from camp. She has been RAVING all weekend about what a great experience it was. At church today, the YW camp director was down visiting our branch, and talked for 45 minutes during Sacrament meeting about the camp and specifically about my kid and how she has such a great testimony and how she loves her family and how she talked all week about how cool her dad is etc etc… I was a proud existentialist/agnostic mormon father today!

Needless to say, I personally thanked her after church for her time and effort. These kind of callings are tough – but, my kid REALLY needs these kind of experiences, especially right now while I’m working myself though this “crisis of faith.”

I agree with Sam. If you can show love, listen and not fight with the other leaders; you have the makings of a good camp leader. If you have some organizational skills too you can be a great leader. I didn’t start working with camp till I was thirty (age when I joined church} and retired at 62 ( became more trouble than I was worth) As far as not holding boys hands just sing ” What you gonna do in a little canoe?” your time and attention is the best thing you can give teenagers and if you do not judge them. all you need is some candy. Don’t confuse problems with adult authority keep you from camping if you like to camp with kids. Best luck whatever you do. If you need help with programs or what ever: let me know I have lots.