I felt the Spirit today. Did anyone else?

I did. Our ward had two really talks about recognizing the Spirit, and I was able to attend another church in town to hear a good friend preach the sermon – a very good one entitled, “Not Just Nice”, about how sometimes we have to stand up and not be “nice” to be disciples of Christ. (This is from a very nice man, so it was an excellent sermon.)

NO, I did not. Had to teach a lesson on the priesthood and the restoration. Did not go well at all. The comments and discussion pretty well made me sick to my stomach. I was able to keep my mouth shut for the most part – but….

Whenever I hear anything at church that bothers me, I’ve been able to it slide but for some reason yesterday was really hard. Our Sunday School lesson was on the temple and how righteous you need to be to enter. Relief Society was about the church in Joseph Smith days. Our new teacher went on a mission to Rome, Italy. So it was a lot of rude remarks about the Catholic Church which I grew up in. I wanted to get up, pretend I had a cough and run away. But I made it through. I went home and cried to my husband and told him I didn’t know if I could do this anymore. Thank goodness he is the sweetest man ever. He listened and all is as well as can be for now.

I’ve had a truly mixed week with a couple of highs and lows.

On Friday, I was playing volleyball in the cultural hall, when we all get cleared out and asked to help set up something. I helped put up a banner, and then reading it discovered to my horror that it was a political “charity”. I told the woman that I refused to do this, and i will be filing a formal complaint with the bishop this week. It put a severe strain on my relationship with the church, as it was a matter which I strongly disagree with, and have written articles condemning it. I try to leave my politics at the door, but this was extremely difficult. I’m not going to even mention what it was here, as it will sidetrack this thread…

However, the flip side to all of this was that on Sunday evening, we had a fireside that was the best talk I’ve probably ever heard in the ward. It was very inspirational. Speaker was excellent, and I could relate to him, he had a good spiritual message, and has set up a worthy charity. I thank God this came along just after the other event.

Whenever I hear anything at church that bothers me, I’ve been able to it slide but for some reason yesterday was really hard. Our Sunday School lesson was on the temple and how righteous you need to be to enter. Relief Society was about the church in Joseph Smith days. Our new teacher went on a mission to Rome, Italy. So it was a lot of rude remarks about the Catholic Church which I grew up in. I wanted to get up, pretend I had a cough and run away. But I made it through. I went home and cried to my husband and told him I didn’t know if I could do this anymore. Thank goodness he is the sweetest man ever. He listened and all is as well as can be for now.

I had a similar experience in Sacrament meeting. Someone got up to speak and said something that really bothered me. I’d heard her speak before and her talk is usually full of such comments that make me feel angst. I politely left sacrament meeting until her talk was over and then rejoined the meeting block after her talk was over.

Personally, I don’t see this as a bad way of dealing with angst in the Church provided one isn’t being ostentatious about it. It’s self-preservation. If I was you, I would’ve followed your instincts and politely left the room — and found something else to enrich myself, even if it was chatting with someone in the hall to get to know them better, or listening to someone share their problems..something else of value.

I think the struggling-to-stay-active LDS person needs to pick their spiritual battles, and work on them one by one until there is a resolution. Compartmentalize those other aspects that bother you until you have time and energy to deal with them. Distance yourself from those aspects of the religion that cause you angst until you deal with them ….celebrate those parts that help you feel spiritual.

If I was to recap my journey since my trial of faith almost a year ago, there’s a ton of things that bother me about the Church, but in the last 8 months, I’ve dealt with tithing, the white-shirt-uniform annoyance, giving priesthood lessons, and some of the service habits of our religion I consider a nuisance (moving people every weekend, for example). I have compartmentalized my problems with local Church leadership, as well as some of the historical problems, the concept of the temple and the interview process as a way of exacting compliance, as well as the controversial “the man presides in the home” statement. Those I will work on those later.

I think the core of progress toward willingly staying active, is simply a commitment to stay active, with the hope and faith that eventually, one will come to a new and better understanding of our religion and deeply personal reasons for living it.

I think this thread here, where we share spiritual experiences at Church is a positive step in helping ourselves nourish a vision of willing activity in the Church again…it feeds the positive.