Spoke in church Sunday

I decided a while back that if I was going to find a way to remain active in the LDS faith, it would have to be on my own terms, and I was no longer going to pretend that I was someone I am not. Over the last few months, and without causing any controversy or hurting anyone else faith I have found small ways to let others know that I am someone who sees and believes things a little differently. I have been surprised at how many have approached me lately, and let me know that they feel the same way about something, or want to discuss things that have been bothering them, knowing I would understand. I have been just starting to feel a little less alone…

Then… my Bishop asks me to speak in SM. I was surprised he asked me, because I am pretty sure he knows I have been struggling with some pretty major issues over the last couple of years (even though we haven’t discussed anything at length) He has also heard me bear my testimony many times (last four years at girls camp, at baby blessings, and at my kids baptisms, never in SM) and he knows my testimony is not your average testimony. Never any mention of prophets, BOM, temples, restored gospel etc… Anyhow, I have been feeling pretty feisty lately and I thought if he was going to give me a full 12 minutes to address the entire ward then I was going to take full advantage.

I was assigned a cheesy talk from a past YW broadcast, which I made a couple small references too, but then I took it into a very different direction and gave a talk about “seeing others as God sees them”. I talked about not judging others, walking different paths, not insisting others define themselves according to your terms, how we are all connected, belong to each other, and need not agree with one another to love one another, etc… A very Christ focused talk. I even snuck in a reference to sexual orientation, as well as a great quote from Conversations with God (although I wisely did not give my source for this one) I also publicly outed myself as being “unorthodox” in my beliefs. It was a powerful talk, which I felt very inspired as I wrote and gave it, but I was also terrified at the same time of how well it would be received.

After SM was over, I was literally swarmed! I was given numerous hugs, some had tears, was told how brave my talk was, and was asked by 7 different people for a copy of my talk. Then the bishop approached me, I was so afraid what he would say. He took my hand, stared me in the eye, and then sincerely thanked me. He said that this talk was exactly what this ward needed to hear and I conveyed the message perfectly! He also informed me that I would definitely be asked to speak again soon. (I had made a joke in my talk about not having to speak again until 2020)

In the 24 hours that followed I have gotten emails and messages from ward members who have admitted they are unorthodox too, and praised me for giving such a talk. One man posted on his facebook status that… flowerdrops made it very worthwhile to attend church today! Wow… I have been completely overwhelmed and in awe from the positive feedback I have received. I am feeling pretty good right now!

I may post my talk on here for you all soon. (I am just trying to get all my bullet points and scribbled in notes written out as close to what I actually said as possible) I just wanted to share my big moment with you all. Thank you all… this sight has meant a lot to me!