How do I reconcile paying tithing?

One of the things I like about the church is that the bishops don’t get paid, and they don’t get incentives for pulling in more funds than other wards or stakes. So tithing settlement isn’t about holding your feet to the fire. It really is about faith and willingness to let go of earthly possessions as a reminder there are more important things, IMO.

Any organization you donate to will have inefficiencies, and you lose control of where the funds go, although some orgs do better at transparency than others.

I think like other commandments, the temporal part is connected to the spiritual part. What spiritual blessings to you want by paying tithing?

I’m leaving for tithing settlement right now. I’ve had similar feelings as the ones you share, and have decided to deal with it a certain way — I will report back when I’m done. I share many of your feelings Cadence, but I also want to be in “compliance”….this should be an interesting tithing settlement for both of us.

One thing’s for sure — I can’t share the malls, the risky real estate investments etcetera deterrents to paying tithing. Also, I will not share the perceived undue emphasis on temporal matters given the settlement meeting (the only meeting we hold dedicated to one sole commandment), as well as my concerns about accountability — that way lies only greater hardship and loss of flexibility. I still feel kindness for the Church and want it to be part of my life and my kids, but the tithing commandment as widely practiced seems obtuse to me right now.

I have also decided tithing settlement will hapen in three stages – one, with myself and my Bishop privately where I explain my low amount and get his reaction. Then with my family will come in and give their “accounting”, and then discussion about my son’s baptismal service upcoming afterwards. My family doesn’t know the first meeting between myself and the Bishop is about tithing; they think it’s about Church business of another kind…..we shall see. This is the most stressful tithing settlement I’ve ever been through in my life in the Church.

Thanks for sharing, SD.

I think the settlement is just to get the records to know if there was an error or not, make sure docs are ok for tax reporting, and that one has a chance to declare with the bishop, who holds stewardship for the funds. So he checks his box that he asked you if everything looks correct, and you check your box of full or not full tithe payer, however you define those, and try to give a chance for the bishop to share an inspiring message on tithing (I’ve never experienced a guilt trip in a settlement).

Experiences may vary, as bishops interpret their stewardship through their lenses, but most training lately has reminded bishops they are not there to tell the member what a correct tithe is, just to help them and inspire them (if possible). I think there is a principle the church reinforces from time to time about return and report…which I am not sure if it is an organizational thing or doctrinal thing

That is how I see it, even though I have skipped out on settlement this year. No particular reason, other than I just have lots going on and the bishop knows my situation, so he gives me space right now, which I appreciate.

I’m still a die-hard “gross” payer. But I don’t give it to the LDS Church (solely) anymore. Tithing is a great practice.

We started paying directly to SLC at the beginning of the year, so during this tithing settlement with the bishop, our tithing total read $0.00 and we reported to be full tithe payers, which we are… probably a little TOO full, in my opinion, but since my wife takes care of the family accounting and I don’t have to worry about it, I’m okay if she wants to pay a little more than I would. All of the fast offering funds have to be paid locally, which seems appropriate so local leaders retain some control about how those funds are spent. Like many of you, I’d sometimes prefer sending more of my funds in that direction and less to tithing, but having been on the counting end of things, I’ve been amazed at how generous people can be and at how much money is accummulated to help local people in need. I think in many areas, there seems to be plenty of local helping funds available. I understand some areas cannot raise enough local funds to support their own needs, so I’m okay if some of my local funds are used to help people in other areas if there is surplus in my area.

While the uses and possible misuses of tithing can be argued, I think it’s really nice to walk into a new church building, admire the beauty and good workmanship, and know that the building and the land it sits on are completely paid for and that I don’t have to change my financial behavior in any way in order to get to come sit in it every week. In fact, I can completely stop giving anything and still get to come sit in it and enjoy what happens there. (I just can’t sit in one of those REALLY pretty ones, ha).

Do I think the church is stingy with budgets? Ha… yes. Do I think we could still function fine with less tithing? Sure. But the Church put a system in place that is working pretty well, in my opinion. We are a financially rich church who can afford to really help people on a very large scale. The church asks us to give 10%, but they tell us to decide what 10% means, they don’t want to look at our books to check our math, and they don’t make us go back and “catch up” if we’ve neglected tithing for a while. And now, bishops don’t even flinch (or at least mine didn’t) when he sees $0.00 paid in tithing and I tell him I’m a full tither.

So, I reconcile paying tithing because I trust that the money is mostly being used for good things, because I think there’s something inherently good and right and nice about giving some of your substance away (provided you have enough to give), and because it’s a way to support my church–the one I am affiliated with.

CWald, I think I might have been irritated by your bp’s comments about your kids as well. But, I also think that’s very easily remedied if you believe that the upcoming youth temple trip would be a good experience for them. Hire them to do a $10 job and pay them in ones. They can pay their dollar tithing to the bishop and now they are full tithe-payers. If he fusses the amount, have them pay direct to SLC too.

Your BP may have bristled at the comment about sending 100’s of dollars back to SLC when there are so many needs within your own community because that could be construed as an insult to him personally. The Bishop or BP is the only guy allowed to disperse that local money to the needy. He might have taken the comment as “I’ll give you money if you’ll start doing your job and giving it to local people that need it instead of giving it away to SLC!” I don’t know… maybe I read it wrong, but I could see how a bishop (or branch president in this case) might take that as a mild condemnation, especially if he thinks he is trying hard to work with the local needy people.

I was going to do the “pay to SLC” route to hide the total from the Bishop, but I decided I was going to be up front about it. And that’s what I did, being prepared to let the chips fall whereever they may, including him telling me I can’t be the voice in confirming my son who is to be baptized in one month — I was amazed at how he said all he has to do is check the box based on my own declaration. I honestly thought he’d take a hard line with me being how new he is. It sounds like he’s had some training to just accept what people say.

I think it’s important to avoid saying anything about your misgivings like “I want the money to go to the poor, not to a mall development” or something like that. You just have to say that it represents a full tithe when all things have been considered; if they press, then you are ready as I was (I actually volunteered) a general statement of why my tithing was so low. They aren’t going to ask for pay stubs, investment records, or anything.

CWald, I think I might have been irritated by your bp’s comments about your kids as well. But, I also think that’s very easily remedied if you believe that the upcoming youth temple trip would be a good experience for them. Hire them to do a $10 job and pay them in ones. They can pay their dollar tithing to the bishop and now they are full tithe-payers. If he fusses the amount, have them pay direct to SLC too.

Your BP may have bristled at the comment about sending 100’s of dollars back to SLC when there are so many needs within your own community because that could be construed as an insult to him personally. The Bishop or BP is the only guy allowed to disperse that local money to the needy. He might have taken the comment as “I’ll give you money if you’ll start doing your job and giving it to local people that need it instead of giving it away to SLC!” I don’t know… maybe I read it wrong, but I could see how a bishop (or branch president in this case) might take that as a mild condemnation, especially if he thinks he is trying hard to work with the local needy people.

CNSL1 – I think you make a good case for tithing, I’m glad you don’t have the issues with it that I do. I like your suggestion with the kids and the TR. I will think about that when the time comes.

Perhaps the BP bristled about the comment of FO – and maybe he should have, as the church policy, IMO, is terribly flawed. I actually think I was being a pretty decent guy volunteering to up the FO if there was a real need to do so — but I have no intentions of giving my extra money to the church, which sends it SLC, when there are so many needy people right here in my own community. The problem as I see it, is the church will only use FO to help MEMBERS in the branch. What about those who aren’t members? Are we not allowed to help them too? Apparently not, since we are asked to give our FO to the Bishop, who helps the local members perhaps and sends the rest to SLC, who then distributes it as they see fit – probably most of it goes to South America. I’m okay with helping out those in other countries who are less fortunate – but what about my own neighbors?

Now I know what some will respond here. “of course you can help others in the community besides the FO that helps members in your ward.” Oh really? With what? We are asked to pay 10% for tithing, a generous FO, all the other crap like friends of scouting and scout camps/girl camps etc. —- I don’t know about the rest of you – but I don’t have that kind of discretionary money at my disposal. Sooooo – I am not interested in sending my FO back to SLC. I AM interested in helping out my own community first where I live and work and see the suffering first hand — and if that is “offensive” to my local church leaders than so be it.