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I’m seeking some help again. Christmas is usually a fun and religious time for me. Like probably every other LDS family, we try to balance focus on Christ-like giving, birth of Savior, etc., with the normal fun family stuff like presents and food and get-togethers. Usually, the spiritual focus is heightened within me during Christmas, but this year it has not.
Part of the problem is that my wife is currently experiencing some acute depression and panic attacks. Part of the problem is that my religious paradigm has shifted a bit since last Christmas and every Christmas before that. It’s harder for me to feel that closeness to the religious Christmas experience this year. The Christmas “story” doesn’t resonate like before.
But… I want to feel some of those same feelings, even if my ideas about the “story” have changed somewhat.
Seeking that feeling in the “traditional” way taught by many leaders isn’t going to work for me right now.
Any ideas? How do you draw yourself back into those warm feelings of Christmas?
I hoped today’s SS class would give me something to slip into, warm and comfortable and Christmasy, but it was boring and tedious and nothing at all Christ-like. It seemed like the only Christmas thing about the meetings was the music, which usually pulls me in more than it has.
I’m sure I’ll find that feeling soon enough on my own, but I wondered if anyone had any ideas based on their own experiences of dealing with Christmas after what we might call a mild to moderate religious paradigm shift.
Cnsl1, First of all, Merry Christmas and best wishes to you and your family. Hearing your wife struggles with depression hits close to home for me, and it can be hard, for her and for the whole family. My heart goes out to you.
Regarding your question, my advice is don’t force it. I think it’s ok if the season passes and you don’t necessarily experience some huge spiritual influence because of Christmas…I think much of society overhypes things for lots of reasons. It sounds cliche, but that spirit can be found anytime of year, so it’s not like it has to be something you feel in December or something is wrong.
Just focus on love, and let things take their course. Many times the small acts or small moments with family are the best ones.
I hope you find peace and love within the walls of your home. Merry Christmas, my friend!
I would do something kind for someone, beyond what you normally do. Also, take a drive around and look at Christmas lights — kind of secular, but it helps kindle the magic we sometimes feel, in my view. Also, I take my daughter to a Christmas Eve service at a local Church that is not LDS occasionally. There is usually a lot of music and a good message — more of a production than what we get at our own Church.
You can also do a FHE on it…if the Christmas Story isn’t resonating with you, then find another Christmas story that speaks to you, or even a Christmas movie that has a good message about human relationships or the human condition.
Whether of not you believe in the story surrounding Jesus birth, the ideals that Jesus stood for (regardless of his existence at all) are what is most important. Reflect on what the gospel and ministry of Christ mean to you personally in your life. Help someone in need – the quickest way to feel good, especially if one is feeling depressed.
Give yourself permission to take a year off from feeling like you have to feel all warm and Christmasy. It’s okay!
Serve someone who really needs help. Involve your family in it, to whatever extent is possible, given your wife’s difficulties right now.
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