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Have you ever stopped? Yes, I plannedtwo solid weeks away from Church and it was the most fulfilling experience. The change, the time spent with my son camping those weekends was good for our relationship, and I came back to Church feeling a sense of renewal. Now, I had strong motivators to return to Church — a calling, and young children who have a lot of traction with the Ward programs, and a wife who gets cranky if I don’t go. I wouldn’t recommend it for someone who might leave and never come back, however.
Excellent. Any other stories about stopping? Tom Haws wrote:Excellent. Any other stories about stopping?
Yes, I had another trial of commitment when a group of women distributed a nasty letter to the the Ward Council full of personal attacks against me, and copied me. I was floored, ashamed, ego-trodden, and felt like I didn’t justify the harsh treatment I received. I apologized for whatever offended them, although I felt my actions were reasonable and consistent with the Handbook. This was met with further rejection and then a reprimand from our Bishopric at the time — without even trying to unearth the facts. My side was never heard before the reprimand occurred. Sounds incredulous, and yes, it was. When we moved into the Ward, we were warned about pettiness reigning supreme.
I didn’t go to Church for two weeks after that — I needed the time away. Time away to let the women cool their jets, and time away to re-examine if the calling was for me, as well as my action plan. When I returned everything had calmed down, and I stayed in the calling for another two years.
cWald posted a thread where he used this same strategy when he described an unpleasant experience which happened at Church — he apparently scheduled work to conflict with Church meetings to allow for time away to re-examine his relationship with the Church. But I’ll let him tell that story.
I see patterns here — next time there is a conflict in the Ward, and one of the participants is away the following week, I won’t immediately assume it’s a coincidence.
I have taken two small sabbaticals in the last 3 years. The first one had to do with school and a false accusation from a female student/member girl. The school lawyer advised me to have NO contact with the student, which meant I could not attend church for two months.
:clap: That student has since destroyed several people’s lives, and tore some HUGE holes in the branch, including having the SP/BP involved in some serious allegations, and a few male student from school here rotting in jail. All of which was later proved to be false and lies. I was fortunate to avoid most of all that and just stayed in the background. This female has since been shipped off to foster homes, and the rest of the family I haven’t seen in months thank god.
The other sabbatical was after this October’s GC. I took off/arranged work on Sunday and missed probably 6 weeks of church. It was well needed and seemed to be what I needed to keep my (in)sanity.
I seem to recall Eugene England, in one of his essays, suggesting that some time away from church might be a good thing for some people. If I could get away with a one or two month leave of absence, I think I’d probably give it a try. It’s not in the cards, though. I have found it hard to completely stop because my kids are so connected that stopping would require open discussion and plans for them to stop as well, or just tell them to go without me, and then I miss time being with them. I have taken a week off, here or there, but never fully stopped. I wonder what that would be like some times.
:problem: I am hoping that this summer we can do a number of camping trips that will “happen” to fall on Sundays. 
I stopped for seven years. I found my time diverted into less service-oriented activities, and I grew comfortable being a bench-warmer (literally) at Church. I attended Church occasionally, and took the outreach from members, but didn’t give much in return. It was the passage of time which dulled the memory of the experience which led me to START attending. Also, occasional attendance at Church provided repeated opportunities to feel the tingling in my chest and a sense of goodness and the Spirit. There were kindnesses from people along he way that caused short-lived spurts of desire to go to Church again (like someone who came over to my house and helped me rake leaves all afternoon). I also had a home teacher who truly became my friend for about 3 years. Eventually I accepted a minor calling and attended semi-regularly, and then eventually, after a move to a new city, and a fresh start, launched back into full outward activity……With kids that are now sentient and impressionable, I couldn’t do that now. If I didn’t have kids I would probably be in that state for the last year if it wasn’t for them, plus my wife. It’s interesting to me how this thread has gone. We have touched on stopping the habit of church attendance, definitely a possible rut. You might say we have even got into a rut about that aspect of stopping. Maybe we could stop for a moment. 😆 (Just taking advantage of the poetic opportunity there.) Any other stories about stopping anything else in any other way? Have you ever stopped?Tom Haws wrote:Any other stories about stopping anything else in any other way? Have you ever stopped?
What about yourself? I think I remeber reading a post awhile back that you were attending the Unitarian church?? What is your perspective?
Tom Haws wrote:It’s interesting to me how this thread has gone. We have touched on stopping the habit of church attendance, definitely a possible rut. You might say we have even got into a rut about that aspect of stopping. Maybe we could stop for a moment.
😆 (Just taking advantage of the poetic opportunity there.) Any other stories about stopping anything else in any other way? Have you ever stopped?YES, I stopped being judgmental about people who won’t accept callings, who have divergent ideas, or who lack faith. I have stopped wanting to activate people with the wave of my hand. I have stopped believing that everyone has a tingling in their chest or the roof of them mouth when they feel at peace.
I have stopped trying to make logical sense out of the church. It was giving me a headache. I stopped using language in public that people view as offensive. I still use many of those words in context and with individuals or small groups where there is no offense taken. Not being an offender for a word, and all that. I’m glad I did. I stopped caring about whether or not my view was the same as anyone else’s a long time ago. One of the best things I’ve ever done.
I stopped drinking carbonated sodas a few years ago, with the exception of when I’m driving late at night and need a little caffeine. Very glad I did.
I stopped pursuing one career three years ago and have starteed another one, from the bottom. Difficult financially, but I love what I do.
SilentDawning wrote:a wife who gets cranky if I don’t go. I feel your pain man!! Sometimes going to church is, for me, the path of less suffering! rut row!
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