- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
On one hand, the lds church wants people to be tolerant of its religion, yet on the other hand, it seems the lds church is very intolerant to listen to anyone else’s beliefs or doubts and questions. I recall on my mission, we were told that we are not here to have anyone preach to us but we are to preach to them. Since my last interaction with my brother and sister in law and this new bishop, they have asked me to look at their books, and tapes, but were not willing to dicuss the links and questions I had. It was last November 12, that I had emailed the bishop’s wife to have her thank her husband for coming over to visit and talk to my husband. I told her I appreciated that her husband had wanted to apologize and smooth things over with us. I asked her for his email address and that I was looking forward to hearing from him as he had told my husband he would write me. I hadn’t heard hide nor hair from them the last 4 months when out of the blue, last week I got an email from the Bishop’s wife telling me she was behind on her email and here’s her husband’s email address. Ending with ‘sorry, miss you, love you.” Well, I decided to email him and thank him for coming by last November and that I hoped he would watch the John Dehlin video about why intelligent/good people leave the church. I wanted him to understand what had upset me and asked if he would be willing to discuss the video and talk about our questions. Yesterday, I get a very short email from the bishop inviting us to the next stake conference where a GA will be attending. That was it.
So, often I get this thing from lds members of ignoring our doubts and questions, but we want you to listen to us. It really annoyed my husband and I because ‘why should we look at your stuff and attend your meetings’ if you are not willing to look at our stuff and attend ours.’ They didn’t even acknowledge the things we had asked them to look at. I even read the stuff my sister in law had sent me and told her the good parts about it, but no such recipircation. So, I don’t care to have anything to do with people who are not fair minded. Even my non-lds friends are more open than that.
So what is it? Arrogance that they have the only truth and looking at your stuff is all anti-Mormon and might contaminate them? Just a bit annoyed right now.
Bridget, I think it’s just human nature to think that once we have a paradigm that works for us, it must work for everyone. The world is full of people who are intolerant and aren’t Mormon.
Possibly arrogance, but I think it is more likely fear of the unknown. Church members are so heavily invested in one way of thinking, one truth and all that, and it requires a certain amount of mental energy to maintain that thinking. Well, at least for me it did. If they were to let down their guard just a bit and try to consider the thoughts and ideas of others as equally as valid as their own, where might that lead? Doing so would require even more mental effort (mental gymnastics, anyone?) so it’s just easier to maintain a black and white view of the world. Personality type is big factor, and I think that those in leadership tend to share a world view that puts little value on trying to understand new things. In any case, refusal to consider the ideas of others while insisting that they consider ours is pretty easy to view as arrogant.
Agree with Doug’s view, but it’s worth a lot of us have hunted about before going into the LDS. Roman Catholics can also be particularly arrogant in thinking that they are the one true church. I pointed out them that the Coptic church was older, but he says “they’re schismatics” – I pointed out that they were about before the RC church existed, as were the Armenians and others.
bridget_night wrote:On one hand, the lds church wants people to be tolerant of its religion, yet on the other hand, it seems
the lds church is very intolerant to listen to anyone else’s beliefs or doubts and questions.I recall on my mission, we were told that we are not here to have anyone preach to us but we are to preach to them.…So, often I get this thing from lds members of ignoring our doubts and questions, but we want you to listen to us.It really annoyed my husband and I because ‘why should we look at your stuff and attend your meetings’ if you are not willing to look at our stuff and attend ours.’…I don’t care to have anything to do with people who are not fair minded. Even my non-lds friends are more open than that. So what is it? Arrogance that they have the only truthand looking at your stuff is all anti-Mormon and might contaminate them? That’s one problem with assuming we already know the absolute truth, sometimes it makes it hard to respect or even listen to different opinions. This is not unique to the most dogmatic religious zealots; it is possibly even more common in the case of politics. If you think about it, this kind of intolerance is mostly pointless because there are always going to be some people that will never agree with you even if you actually are right so you might as well get used to it. What’s worse is that for some things that people argue the most about for all we know it won’t make that much of a difference either way if people are wrong about it or not but people still like to act like they are completely certain that it will make all the difference in the world if the majority would just support some pet cause.
Well the mormon church is the “only true church” and “the only way to salvation”, so what good is looking at other points of view? Brown wrote:Well the mormon church is the “only true church” and “the only way to salvation”, so what good is looking at other points of view?
Well, I know this is what they all think. Does that mean God does not work through all churches and all His people? Only the lds church gets any inspiration. They might as well get rid of the 13th article of faith which tells us that anything that is praiseworthy or of good report we should seek. JS even said that we should accept truth whereever we find it. And it ain’t all in the lds church. The lds church could learn alot from other churches as far as I am concerned. The lds church also has falliable leaders and could do a little house cleaning sometimes; like look at the beam in their own eye.
I am sure Jesus would have taken the time to listen to my questions and doubts and shown me love. I got none from this bishop.
Mother Teresa gets mentioned fairly frequently, I think, as does C.S. Lewis, who I’ve often heard said “should have been a Mormon”!!! Quote:Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this profound truth: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” 5 The Savior has admonished, “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” 6 I ask: can we love one another, as the Savior has commanded, if we judge each other? And I answer—with Mother Teresa: no, we cannot.
– Charity Never Faileth, Pres Monson, Oct ’10.
http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/charity-never-faileth I think tolerance is more around respecting others, and not thinking bad things about them, even if we don’t agree, than it is around listening or reading things that others want us to read or listen to. If the bishop and his wife are still friendly and respectful to you and your husband, I think that is tolerant of you and your beliefs. They should be able to say no to reading what you have, just like you should be able to say no to going to stake conference with them…and yet both be able to respect each other as friends. I hope they are not putting conditions on their love and respect for you…like you have to go to their meetings or else they want nothing to do with you, nor should you and your husband require them to read John Dehlin in order to be friends with you…that would be intolerant, in my opinion.
Intolerance is one of the most deeply ingrained “natural” tendencies that exist. It’s sad it is as strong as it is in many members, but it’s not surprising.
Heber13 wrote:I think tolerance is more around respecting others, and not thinking bad things about them, even if we don’t agree, than it is around listening or reading things that others want us to read or listen to.
If the bishop and his wife are still friendly and respectful to you and your husband, I think that is tolerant of you and your beliefs. They should be able to say no to reading what you have, just like you should be able to say no to going to stake conference with them…and yet both be able to respect each other as friends. I hope they are not putting conditions on their love and respect for you…like you have to go to their meetings or else they want nothing to do with you, nor should you and your husband require them to read John Dehlin in order to be friends with you…that would be intolerant, in my opinion.
You gave me something to think about Heber. Maybe, I have unrealistic expectations at times. Bridget
Quote:Maybe, I have unrealistic expectations at times.
We all do, bridget – but I do think that this is one area where you really do need to focus. I think much of the angst you still feel about a lot of things probably is based to a considerable degree on unrealistic expectations. Reality is hard to face sometimes. Maybe that is a good question to ask here. What unrealistic expectations do we have about the church at times. A couple that come to mind are: 1. GA’s to not have any serious weaknesses
2. For church leaders to be honest and upfront about its history.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.