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Well, now I’m a bit confused. A while ago I was an adult Sunday School teacher, and by all reports, did a good job of it. I DID say a few StayLDS ideas, such as indicating that one must take what the GA’s say and run it through your own inspiration and circumstnaces. I quoted DH Oakes comment that GA’s talk in generalities and that we all have to work out our own exceptions with the Lord. Lots of people nodded their heads on that one. Beyond that, I pretty much stuck with the party line on the doctrine, skipping the stuff I find hard to swallow. Then a Bishopric member attended one of my lessons and shook his head violently when I mentioned something about possible risk of poisoning the membership due to purchased sacrament wine in the early days, when there was animosity towards the Church, as a part of a full-class set of responses as to why we switched to water. They were all things that I’d been taught in other meetings over the years. When I asked for his reason for the head-shaking he pointed to someone else who had a question and never raised it with me.
Then I was released two weeks later, asked to be a Ward webmaster and booking agent, which I politely declined via email, suggesting a list of other callings that could work, and affirming my willingness to serve in a light and insteresting capacity given heavy work and PhD study commitments.
Well, no calling for weeks now. My wife who is a the Primary President asked for me as a primary teacher, which I had suggested to the BP in my letter, and was told “that isn’t going to happen”. So, week by week goes by. Nothing, and we live in a Ward that is struggling for committted people to do things.
Just wondering what you think might be going on?
Quite frankly, I’m enjoying not having a calling and if this continues on much longer I think I’ll just flat out refuse just about anything and keep enjoying my Sundays like I never have before. But part of me thinks they’ve labelled me a renegade. One thing’s for sure, I’ve been pretty good at NOT grandstanding contrarionism at Church, although in private conversations I’ve questioned certain cultural practices, howver, they are more policy driven and on benign issues such as the best way to do home teaching, or administer music in the Ward.
Thoughts welcome. I realize no one really knows for sure, but I’ve been wondering lately.
Hmmm…hard to say what might be going on…but its fun to play the guessing game…I’ll play along… 🙂 My guess is they want you as the new scoutmaster. Have you done that one before?
:thumbup: In all seriousness though, I think if they had thought of you for something and that didn’t work out…it is probably something they still have on their list to do…but nothing seems to fit exactly right yet, so they are waiting to feel right about the next thing.
In the mean time…enjoy your Sundays, right?
There are too many possibilities, frankly, for me to speculate. Enjoy the break for now – and don’t worry about how they might view you. Don’t try to judge, even if you are judged. Chance are pretty good your judgment will be wrong – so why bother?
Leaders are luck of the draw, as is every new day of our lives. You drew an interesting one this time around. I figured as much. Guess I’ve been so used to being prime real estate whenever I’ve been active this is really strange for me. I like Heber’s idea; just kick back and enjoy. And you’re right — I’m probably wrong in my assumption that I did something strange and they have put me on the “too hot to handle” list. I think the chill and enjoy advice is the best. Who knows what’s going on behind the scenes in your ward that may be taking precedence. Could be anything. Could be nothing. I actually think that if they thought you were in jeopardy they’d be hot to trot to give you some sort of calling. I’d just consider it a break for a while. Look on the positive side! Just don’t let it go on too long… SilentDawning wrote:I figured as much. Guess I’ve been so used to being prime real estate whenever I’ve been active this is really strange for me. I like Heber’s idea; just kick back and enjoy. And you’re right — I’m probably wrong in my assumption that I did something strange and they have put me on the “too hot to handle” list.
Do you remember the animated Disney movie “Beauty and the Beast”? In the middle of this elaborate musical sequence “Be Our Guest”, the candlestick character speaks a line that I’ve found applicable in my own life. He says “Life is so unnerving for a servant who’s not serving, we’re not whole without a soul to wait upon…”
You see that lost sense of purpose in parents when they become empty-nesters, in people who retire from a career, and in many aspects of life when someone moves from one stage to another – especially if the first stage required a lot of commitment or contributed to a person’s sense of identity.
I have often felt a little strange as I’ve struggled to find my place in the ward after being released from a demanding, intense, or high visibility calling. One thing that really has helped me was finding ways that made me feel connected in spite of not being directly involved with members of the ward in the same capacity. One thing I’ll do is bring thank you cards to church and write notes to the teachers and speakers which I then mail out on Monday. I do this during their class so I can mention something specific that they said which I appreciated. Now, I do that through facebook. Then you look for the people who are sitting alone in every class and you make a point of sitting next to them and asking about their week. You make sure people around you have a hymnal. It sounds silly but sometimes, those little things help me bridge the gap between feeling like a total outsider and feeling like a member of a community.
mercyngrace wrote:I have often felt a little strange as I’ve struggled to find my place in the ward after being released from a demanding, intense, or high visibility calling. One thing that really has helped me was finding ways that made me feel connected in spite of not being directly involved with members of the ward in the same capacity. One thing I’ll do is bring thank you cards to church and write notes to the teachers and speakers which I then mail out on Monday. I do this during their class so I can mention something specific that they said which I appreciated. Now, I do that through facebook. Then you look for the people who are sitting alone in every class and you make a point of sitting next to them and asking about their week. You make sure people around you have a hymnal. It sounds silly but sometimes, those little things help me bridge the gap between feeling like a total outsider and feeling like a member of a community.
I would like to echo M&G. After I was released from my calling and not given another one I would volunteer to sub the Nursery (they almost always need help), I would look for chairs that need to be put away or set up, I would see overloaded Moms and help carry babies etc. to the car.
In my experience people are genuinely thankful, in part because they know there is no “calling” compelling you. And therefore I have found serving under my own terms all the more rewarding and flexible. I’m sure that with the demands placed on your wife as PP that you can find ample ways to be her #1 sustainer.
mercyngrace wrote:Then you look for the people who are sitting alone in every class and you make a point of sitting next to them and asking about their week. You make sure people around you have a hymnal. It sounds silly but sometimes, those little things help me bridge the gap between feeling like a total outsider and feeling like a member of a community.
What a great post!
To me, these “little things” are true religion, in a nutshell.
Right now I satisfy myself with teaching music lessons to an under-priviledged girl in our Ward. She’s progressing, loves it, and it makes me feel that I’m living my religion in a deeply personal way…I think this is the spirit of what M&G is talking about, within my own set of skills and interests. SD, while reading the most recent posts, I remembered the following post. Read it, please: http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com/2009/12/someone-needs-you-every-single-day.html My Guess? They’re waiting for the most appropriate time to ask you to clean toilets and while you’re doing that, you can ponder it’s spiritual meaning of flushing away doctrines that no longer serve you.
:crazy: Journey — I laughed out loud when I read that one. Problem is, you won’t see me cleaning any toilets. Another deep commitment I’ve made — and my personal integrity rests upon it. Perhaps they will get me playing poker so I can contemplate a truly ROYAL flushing of doctrines that no longer serve me??? Ray, I read over your blog about the person who didn’t have a calling and her seeking guidance for who to serve. I think I’ve done a bit of that already with the music lessons I’m teaching. Perhaps I should apply it to Church now that I can breathe there.
SilentDawning wrote:Journey — I laughed out loud when I read that one. Problem is, you won’t see me cleaning any toilets. Another deep commitment I’ve made — and my personal integrity rests upon it. Perhaps they will get me playing poker so I can contemplate a truly ROYAL flushing of doctrines that no longer serve me???
Awesomeness.. See, there’s spiritual meaning behind everything..
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