Going to Give it Another Try…

It’s good to try new (old new) things. Don’t burn bridges, etc.

Just tell your bishop you don’t want a calling right now. You would be surprised how the power dynamic changes when you are an inactive possibly coming back, as opposed to a well-established person they think they can drive and drive and drive.

Do what you are comfortable doing. Of course, it’s good to allow ourselves to be challenged and pushed outside our comfort zone too sometimes. But ease back in, if that is what you need to do. I don’t know if you would be comfortable being so open with your BP as I my following suggestion, but this is what I would do:

Flat out tell the Bishop I wasn’t totally sure if I wanted to become active again, but I sort of miss being a part of the Mormon community. Could he give me some space so I can ease back into it and see if it is something I really want to be involved in? I just would rather not have a calling at first, and don’t want that much immediate tie-in and regular commitment.

IMO, how could any reasonable BP say no?

So, after a 6 month or so ‘sabbatical’ from chuch attendance, with a few guest appearances here and there, I’m considering heading back to church full-time. This makes me extremely nervous for a few reasons…I don’t really want a calling. Not because I don’t like helping or serving, but because I’m not comfortable with a lot of doctrine. I used to love teaching callings, but there’s no way I could handle one now. There are of course callings like nursery etc., but I’d really rather not have to deal with that right now. I’m comfortable telling the bishop as much; I just hope he leaves it alone…One question I ask myself: if it causes me so much anxiety, what am I going for, anyway? Well, even though I have a lot of issues with doctrine, status of women etc. etc., I really do like being part of a religious community. I would like to give it one last try and see if I can make it work for me.

I know how you feel as far as not wanting to do callings. It’s hard when so many of them basically involve actively teaching entire lessons you don’t really believe in. After I asked to be released from my last calling I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my back and Sundays have been much better since then. There are some members that are completely inactive mostly because they want to avoid being hassled about callings and tithing settlement even though they still believe in the Church. As long as there are enough people willing to do whatever they are asked to then the Church probably isn’t going to stop expecting this out of members but there’s not much they can really do about it if more members start to say no to some of these expectations.

I say go and try to connect with people. If they extend a calling, don’t be afraid to say No. But as Brian or someone above said, don’t burn bridges — they might come out with something that you sincerely like! (This happened to me years ago after 5 years of no callings, and then they called me as Teacher Improvement Coordinator — a calling I really liked for a while, and which made few demands on my time). Something interesting you never thought of might await you — but remember this YOU are in control.