Wedding ring essay

Hey StayLDS forum. I wrote an essay today about something I’ve been thinking about for the last week. I’ve haven’t done any rhetorical writing for many years, so it was a bit of a challenge. I welcome any feedback on how to clean up, expand, and strengthen it. I think it might be something to share with some of my friends who think that I’ve “gone off the deep end.”

-Greg

On a summer evening in 2001, I got on one knee in a park near my parents’ home and asked a wonderful woman, “Will you marry me?” She said yes, and in that moment we were engaged. She intended to marry me and I intended to marry her. I didn’t know what her preferences were for a ring so I had not purchased one. I explained that we could pick something out together that she liked. She said that would be fine. The next day she called several of her friends to tell them the news. A couple of friends asked, “Did he give you a ring?” She explained that we were going to purchase it later, to which they replied, “Well then you’re engagement isn’t official. You have to have a ring, or it doesn’t count.” She told me about her conversation with her friends, and we were both confused as to why they would take the ring so literally. We both knew that our commitment was genuine, so we hardly could understand the need for a ring to make it “official”.

A few months later we were married. I had bought her an engagement ring. She and I picked out a wedding band for me, which she gave to me when we got married. I choose a plain yellow gold band. I liked it because it was essentially identical to the gold band that my dad wears. I remember my dad taking his ring off to let me play with it when I was little. Even at a young age I knew that it meant that my mom and dad were married.

My wife and I have been married just over nine years now, and I still wear my ring every day. As I type right now, I can see it on my finger. It reminds me of my wife and how much I love her. It reminds me of the commitment that I have to her and our children. Sometimes when I work in the garden it would be a little easier to take it off, but I typically leave it just because I like it. One of the first times I scrubbed in for surgery, I forgot to take it off, and caught an earful from the scrub tech and the surgeon.

Not once during Sunday school or around the dinner table did I hear “the wedding ring is the only true symbol of marriage and that without it, a couple cannot be officially married”. In fact, as long as I remember, I have known that the wedding ring is a cultural construct. I imagine most people, with the exception of a couple of my wife’s friends, recognize that. I’ve since learned that the wedding ring, and especially the diamond as part of the engagement ring, is largely a result of good marketing from the jewelry industry. I’m also aware of the ugly way in which some diamonds are procured.

If I decide I don’t want to wear my ring anymore, I’m not worried that it will keep me out of heaven. I’m not afraid that my marriage will end. God won’t be mad if I stop wearing my ring. Despite all this, I continue to enjoy the symbolism of my wedding band. I wear it for me.

The LDS church has many rich and meaningful symbols. These symbols are expressed in various ways including ordinances, commandments, meetings, garments, temples, and scripture. I continue to enjoy many of these things as I know that they provide meaning to my life. Like the wedding ring, I believe that these symbols are man-made. Also, like the diamond, I realize that the church has a few disconcerting aspects to its origin. This realization has allowed me to enjoy the symbolism of the church in a new way. I am not a slave to the symbols. I participate in the church at the level that contributes meaning and joy to my life. I live the gospel for me.

I declare that the wedding ring is a true symbol of commitment in marriage that is of benefit and meaning to many people. Likewise, the LDS Church is a true source of joy for many.