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Seeing as polygamists and homosexuals get quite a bit of discussion on here, what about those who consider themselves “asexual”? I don’t mean “neuters”, but people with little or no sex drive. Where do they fit in to the church? They can live the law of chastity alright, but are going to be not so good in the eternal marriage and family department. It really depends on them. Little or no sex drive doesn’t equate automatically to no family – and, personally, I don’t think a lack of a sex drive will have any relevance in the hereafter. Of course, that’s just me speculating. 
SamBee wrote:Seeing as polygamists and homosexuals get quite a bit of discussion on here, what about those who consider themselves “asexual”? I don’t mean “neuters”, but people with little or no sex drive.
Where do they fit in to the church? They can live the law of chastity alright, but are going to be not so good in the eternal marriage and family department.I guess Boyd K. Packer would say something like, “why would God do that to anyone?” Overall the Church probably wouldn’t have a major problem with anyone like this as long as they aren’t ever guilty of the M-word but some members might act like this is is strange if they hear about it. It seems like they strongly prefer for everyone to get married in the temple ASAP and have as many children as possible. What would the Church say about hermaphrodites? It seems like they typically take a one-size-fits-all approach with their answers and don’t really show much consideration for any exceptions or outliers.
DevilsAdvocate wrote:I guess Boyd K. Packer would say something like, “why would God do that to anyone?” Overall the Church probably wouldn’t have a major problem with anyone like this as long as they aren’t ever guilty of the M-word but some members might act like this is is strange if they hear about it. It seems like they strongly prefer for everyone to get married in the temple ASAP and have as many children as possible. What would the Church say about hermaphrodites?
It seems like they typically take a one-size-fits-all approach with their answers and don’t really show much consideration for any exceptions or outliers.I agree.
As far as libido, which is what I think the thread is about…???? I heard once, I think it was from Michael Savage, that Westerners could probably do with a little less sex, and Muslims/Middle Easterners could probably do with a little bit more. He’s probably right.
All things in moderation
The other thing I thought about when I read this thread, was the quote from GBH. Interviewer: “What is the position of the LDS about sex?”
GBH: “We believe in it.”
I am not asexual (not most of the time), but there have been times when I’ve been annoyed, like in YSA, when I was interested in none of the women there. Sure, they were pleasant enough, but not wife material or someone for me. Aren’t a lot of us in that position? I think so, Sam. All platitudes about any two good, selfless people being able to make it work if they really try aside, at the most fundamental level you have to be physically attracted to each other in MOST situations to make it work and be happy. You can’t wake up each morning and say: “Yikes! I have to touch that?!?!”
Of course, sex itself isn’t an absolute necessity for everyone, especially if there are physiological issues that make it impossible or very, very difficult – but for the vast majority of people and situations, there just has to be some reasonable level of chemistry.
Unfortunately, the prettiest women in our ward are either married or on a mission. Maybe it’s not just women who get a thing about male missionaries (leaving aside the gay issue), but I certainly have had a crush on some of the female ones! What is with that? Nun complex? Do I like “untouchable women”? Is Satan trying to lead me into sabotaging missions and marriages? Anyway, I digress… I was really talking about the local singles! I loved the YSA, great fun and all that, but I did really feel asexual within that context. There was one girl who was pleasant, and I suppose I could have married if we were both forced at gun point, but her mother left something to be desired!!! (She’s the RS gossip, judge and jury!)
I agree with you about physical attraction – it has to be there to begin with. But I think in the modern context, it’s overemphasized. For me a wife, is first and foremost a life companion. Someone you want to wake up with, not just sleep with, as you say!
A former bishop in our ward was a “confirmed bachelor” for many years. (No, I don’t mean he was gay, just not great with women) He waited til he was forty before getting married, and is a good father. What would he have done if he was forced to marry twenty years before?
I don’t mean to be insensitive to anyone here, but this topic really does not resonate with me much to be honest. I’m (at least according to jwald 🙂 ) am “over-sexed,” preoccupied with sex, ready for sex etc etc – and have been since I was 12ish. And to be honest, I get the whole gay thing, but I would never have even considered folks would be struggling with “asexual” thoughts. It’s new to me. I thouhgt everyone was just as h*rny all the time like I am.🙂 Well, maybe not quite so much but you know what I’m saying.I guess it just shows that all of us are not going to be fit into the box. It just doesn’t work that way, and we, as STayLDSers/NOMs need to be very careful that we don’t fall into the same mistakes we criticize the orthodox members of making.
Oh yeah — did I mention that my family thinks I’m gay? Quote:I would never have even considered folks would be struggling with “asexual” thoughts.
I don’t think it’s what they think about, it’s what they don’t think of!!!
cwald wrote:Oh yeah — did I mention that my family thinks I’m gay?
Yes somewhere or other.
😆 😆 :clap: :clap: 😆 😆 :clap: :clap: File away that last comment by cwald as worthy of award recognition. Abso-stinking-lutely hilarious in context.
Can asexuals fit in, and do the marriage and eternal family thing? My answer — it depends on their spouse’s desire for sex. If their spouse also has low sex drive then, it’s actually a blessing to the marriage that one person isn’t always at them for sex. On the other hand, if the other person has a really strong sex drive, and the other person is asexual, then you’re going to run into problems in the marriage. Physical fulfilment is an emotional need for many people, and when their spouse refuses to provide it, it causes love to drain from the relationship, especially when other needs are not met.
These relationships may well end in divorce, which hurts the eternal relationship and chances for success in marriage. Some men are not strong enough to stay faithful in the relationship, and go outside the marriage for sex because they can’t get at home.
I’m glad We believe in sex, according to GBH. I’m glad we don’t have an Article of Faith on it though. Another hoop to jump through would kill me.
Old-Timer wrote:File away that last comment by cwald as worthy of award recognition.
I did chuckle. Vote +1
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