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A long time ago, a guy in my ward went on a mssion to Vienna. He was kind of cute and I thought it would be neat to get to know him better once he got back. The only thing was, once he got back, he never came to church. I mentioned it to my mother, who explained very matter-of-factly, “You know, his dad told me he believes the Church is true; he just doesn’t like going.” At that time, I remember wondering if that was actually an option. I’m 62 years old now, married for 40 years, and have been active in the Church all my life. I can’t say, “I know with ever fiber of my being that the Church is true,” but I can say with conviction, that if it’s not, it should be. I love its doctrines and I can’t imagine being truly happy in any other religion. That said, I dread Sundays like you would not believe. I am bored to tears for three hours and come home feeling ornery as hell. I don’t actually plan on becoming inactive, and leaving the Church entirely is so beyond the realm of possibility it’s not even funny, but I often find myself wondering what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I enjoy Church? Do I have any soulmates out there? Yep!!!!! I’m with you on that one. Back when I was TBM, if I didn’t have something to do there, I would GO NUTS. Now that I have little to do by choice, it’s even worse. It’s like I’m sitting on my hands and holding my tongue to stop from erupting into a torrent of divergent thinking. I was stupid enough to institute a rule that at 12, my daughter wasn’t allowed to read during Sacrament meeting. Now she enforces it on me. Someone did a poll on a TBM discusson forum a while ago that I liked — 40% of THOSE people reported some form of disengagement in Sacrament meeting. I think that’s pretty high for traditional believers who don’t tolerate anything negative about the Church. I think you’ll find lots of people who think the same here.
You’re asking that here?!?! 😆 😆 😆 That doesn’t describe me, since I’m a confessed church geek, but that’s largely because I gave up any expectation of being a receiver at church a long, long time ago. Seriously, it was before I was ordained a Deacon, I’m sure. Whatever I get, I appreciate. It happens more often in my current and most recent ward than it did in others, but I just don’t attend expecting any new enlightenment. I get that outside of church – and sometimes in it.
I think that letting go of the expectation actually helped me gain it more frequently than if I had continued to expect it.
You are bored because church is boring. Really no further analysis needed. It takes a rare individual to find excitement in 3 hours of tedium that make watching paint dry exciting. I find church painful because it seems to me that our culture is completely intolerant on any expressions of doubt or questions, whatsoever. There is a kind of social capital that comes with certainty that I don’t have and can no longer fake. And, as Cadence said, it is really, really dull. Even the most formal of protestant churches have more engaging weekly services than ours.
Sunday is the only day that I love going to work 😈 Ray — don’t you feel very alone here? Just curious. You must feel like a cold drink in the middle of the desert….I don’t know how you keep up your enthusiasm!!!! I mean that positively. I’m with you on the pain of going to church. I find it excruciatingly painful, hence my ipod and kindle. I need my adult quiet books to keep me from going insane. I like Ray’s take on things and I might give that attitude a try. CG
I am VERY fortunate right now, in that I attend a ward that really isn’t boring. The Bishop is focused on Christ and Christ-centered talks; the choir is very good (due largely to the influence of the current Bishop when he was the Director); there is a general tolerance of different views; the people generally are open and nice; etc. I know that’s far from cwald’s situation, and I know it’s not the norm for most who participate actively here (and I know that’s a HUGE part of the reason why so many people struggle at church) – but I’m fortunate right now. Having said that, I’ve been in units where that’s not the case – but I’ve reached the point in my life where there’s not much others can do to change my own basic outlook. It’s mine, and I am who I am, and I’m comfortable with my own “I am”. I address the more damaging things that are said when they are said, but I do so in a way that is not seen as attacking or intolerant, so I’m not attacked in return.
and, I actually don’t feel alone here. I really like it here, because it gives me a place to talk about my heterodox views with other people who like to think deeply about stuff. As an admin, I have to wear both hats at times, but I (WE) rarely have to moderate on this site – and I really like that, as well.
You guys are really making me feel like I’m not so completely alone. I guess there are probably a lot of people who don’t really enjoy church, but it’s like it’s seen as a sin of some sort to actually admit it. It feels good to be able to do that and not have to be called to repentance. Thanks! Old-Timer wrote:The Bishop is focused on Christ and Christ-centered talks
Christ-centered talks? Wow! What a novel approach!
I don’t think it’s boring – at least not all the time. Some stuff is boring, some is not. I really enjoy the singing, the youth speakers are generally good, often in RS we have discussion groups. Also, human nature is fascinating and often amusing, and sometimes my husband and I enjoy talking over the bizarre things we have seen later on. Some interesting things from church when I attended a month ago: – the SS teacher pulled up a guy wearing jeans and a blue button down shirt and talked about people judging others based on appearance. Then he mentioned women wearing pants, and a woman in the back of the room yelled out “Hey, I’m wearing pants right now!”
– same SS teacher made multiple references to things that were under discussion in the bloggernacle at that time, including the Brandon Davies “scandal,” leaving me to wonder if he is a ‘nacle reader.
– RS teacher who is a convert admitted she still struggles with social drinking.
– a woman apologized for explaining an NT passage in Greek. Apparently she spontaneously speaks Greek and French a lot.
All those things were in one week. Plus, we met some new people and invited others over for dinner. I think what makes church the most boring is if people aren’t authentic or hide who they really are, but the only way past that is to be authentic ourselves which inspires more intimacy and self-disclosure. For me, it gets boring when I’m not engaging with people or trying to fade into the background.
When my daughter was an older Primary child she came out with a State 5 reason for going to Sacrament. She commented on how she was excited to go to Church that day. I said why? She replied: “The Young Women are singing and I hear it’s going to be a train wreck, and I don’t want to miss THAT!!!”.
Last week a young boy came to church with us for the first time. He’s 10 almost 11. His sister is a member and she comes with us each week. He sat very patiently and was very well behaved. After the meeting while still standing in the pews I asked him, “so was that pretty boring?” It was F&T meeting which wasn’t really too bad for old members like me. But I felt bad for him. “Yep,” he replied.
“Well, it really doesn’t get any better!” I said.
😆 The former member of the stake presidency and his wife and two others sitting with them all laughed and turned around to tell me that I’d certainly given it to him straight.
Church is such fun times!
observant wrote:Last week a young boy came to church with us for the first time. He’s 10 almost 11. His sister is a member and she comes with us each week. He sat very patiently and was very well behaved. After the meeting while still standing in the pews I asked him, “so was that pretty boring?” It was F&T meeting which wasn’t really too bad for old members like me. But I felt bad for him.
I don’t think I’d ever take a non-member to a Fast and Testimony Meeting for his first meeting. It’s just too unpredictable, if you know what I mean. Also, I don’t think you get a real feel for what Sacrament Meeting is like on the other three Sundays. As far as F&T meetings are concerned, they are the ones I like least. I hope you guys won’t come down too awfully hard on me for being so blunt, but sometimes I think I’m going to scream if I hear one more 5-year-old’s rehearsed testimony: “I wanna bury my testimony. I love my mom and dad and I know the Church is true. InthenameofJesusChristAmen.” In my opinion, a big part of the reason people find themselves having a crisis of faith is that somewhere along the line they realize that they’ve been saying something over and over again since childhood, without ever really even thinking about whether it’s a true statement.
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