how do you view the church’s law of chastity ?

It’s bit like standing on the beach watching a tsunami coming in but the line has to be drawn somewhere. The temple covenant was tightened up some years back to catch the hair splitters and what’s ok and not ok has been better defined. As long as there’s good reasons given for the standard and as long as there’s not a return to the old days of quick resort to disciplinary councils, I’m ok with it.

I like the official version in the temple. It’s straightforward, but, as worded now, it actually is open to multiple cultural practices.

I am curious to find out what others here at StayLDS think of the church’s strict definition of the law of chastity ? Please share. Thanks.

I see their obsession with so many different supposed sexual “sins” as prudish Puritan-style overkill and I think some of the exaggerated guilt-trips about masturbation, porn, and pre-marital sex have done more harm than good overall. Sure it sounds good to some people to insist that any sexual experiences should only be between married couples but what happens if you don’t feel ready to get married immediately after your mission and want to focus more on your education, career, etc. for several years instead? What happens if people get married and then find out that their spouse doesn’t like sex as much as them or not at all? What about people that are single not so much by choice but simply because they haven’t met anyone they feel comfortable about getting married to? Complete celibacy is just not going to work very well in cases like this.

That’s why I think Church leaders should stay out of other peoples’ bedrooms and let members work some of this out on their own. Since they refuse to do that my suggestion would be to ignore their advice about sex in most cases and if I really wanted to go to the temple again then I would interpret the chastity interview question as only meaning adultery and not feel guilty about it either. It seems like God would understand why people acted the way they did under the circumstances but I honestly don’t think some of these top Church leaders really understand some of this very well simply because they are so old and grew up in a different environment that no longer exists. Basically, it looks like they don’t really know what they are talking about in this case because of their limited experience and training. It’s easy for them to condemn me for liking porn, fornication, etc. and not feeling that bad about it when they haven’t ever had to walk a mile in my shoes.

I have problems when some leaders take it upon themselves to define what is and isn’t okay in my bedroom. [snip]

Also, I think we are insane to teach and believe that fornication is next to murder. That is a horrible and dangerous doctrine.

Agreed on both counts. A married couple needs to make decisions based on mutual respect, they alone can specifically define what that entails. I do think there are valid doctrinal aspects that the church should teach. For example, the verse in Alma which says to “bridle our passions” explains that unfettered passions inhibit out ability to love. IMO, that’s true. When we have no restraint and set no boundaries, things that ought to build strong marital relationships are at risk of becoming mundane and people, of becoming objectified and feeling degraded. It is up to a couple to find that balance, though.

Regarding the fornication next to murder doctrine – I also agree this is dangerous. This comes from Alma’s discussion with Corianton and seems to be misunderstood. Corianton didn’t just follow after a harlot, he was a hypocrite and led people away because his actions were incongruous with his preaching. The reason this doctrine is so dangerous is that it ranks sins, creating a hierarchy of self-righteousness and judgmentalism. Kids who’ve broken the law of chastity and try to repent, may never feel truly clean, may associate so much guilt and pain with sex that they are unable to experience intimacy in appropriate sexual relationships, and may never be able to accept grace, feeling a though they have to earn their way to God’s love. On the other hand, those who stayed morally clean may feel like modern day Zoramites, looking down at those who stumbled as inferiors who deserve punishment. Both of these ‘conditions’ are damning and damaging and I’ve seen them both play out in several different marriages. It’s not pretty.

Cwald: they seriously took out the reference to masturbation from the “for the strength of youth” pamphlet ? wow !!

what do you think of church leaders counselling youth (or anyone else) not to masturbate ? is that considering the brethren going too far in their interpretation of “law of chastity” ?

thanks for sharing your link Ray. Wise advice !