- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Brian, and everyone: I wonder if there is an opportunity to address another class of concerns that might prevent people from staying committed to the Church. I call it:
ONEROUS SERVICEA theme I hear from some us, particularly the grey panthers, is the chore service can be after years of moving, failed reactivation attempts, unsuccessful home teaching efforts, and other time consuming service opportunities that produce little spiritual return on investment. For some of us, it can be a reason to stop attending priesthood meeting, or Church altogether.
I hope I’m not being too autobiographical here when I suggest this, however, it has been a big concern for myself and others at different times on this forum. I wonder if this would be a worthwhile category in the How To Stay Article. I think it is one concern people have that can be relatively easily dealt with, and I don’t think it is controversial either. Coping mechanisms such as learning to say “No” politely and without guilt, recognizing each person can contribute their unique talents and passions in proactive ways that are fulfilling and meaningful, and even unofficial is a way to serve in the Church without angst. Recognition that is OK to say “No” to things — people do it all the time, even Bishops and SP’s do it.
Would this be valuable do you think?
Gosh SD, we sure are on the same wave length. Three years ago I handed my car keys (symbolic) over to my bishop and told him I was finished with home teaching. He said, “You can’t do that.” I explained that I had given it my best, not for five years, but for fifty years (half a century). I told him that it has never worked for me, I never had a junior companion and got turned away from the active families as often as the inactive ones (I think being divorced may have fueled that). Anyhow, he thought it over and thanked me for my service. It was OK to say no. Recently, a letter came from a new HPGL (new Bishop also), calling me to home teach three families and giving me a date to report my first month’s progress. Once again I explained my “keys” analogy. The HPGL looked unhappy, but didn’t say much. It is all right to say no. I have also requested that my current calling remain in place until I die (family history, I’m really really good at it). I got a few smiles on that request. As for a current temple recommend, no problem, I will seek one when the church apologizes for Prophet 8 (make that Proposition 
. In closing, I once taught the HP lessons for two years without being called, I got tired of having the lesson read from the manual each week. When the new HPGL suggested I probably should be released, I told him it was not necessary, I hadn’t been called. He actually got tears in his eyes…“I Stand All Amazed…”
I haven’t been in the service of the Church for as long as you two, but I can definitely see where you are coming from. Plus, I’d much rather teach every Sunday lesson that the boring “read-along” that is generally the EQ Meeting. But, George, you probably will never get a temple recommend again. It doesn’t seem to me that the Church apologizes for anything, so much as receives divine revelation changing it. Quote:doubtingthomas:
George, you probably will never get a temple recommend again. It doesn’t seem to me that the Church apologizes for anything, so much as receives divine revelation changing it.
I have already missed my three oldest grandkids temple sealings. I fully expect to miss the next ten sealings as well (should I live so long). It was painful of course, but I need to display to my beautiful grandkids, that standing for something, even though it might involve your faith community, is your right and perhaps your duty, if integrity is important to you. I was there for my four children’s temple sealings, very worthy to attend. My fifth child has never married, and would not be welcome in the House of the Lord as an openly gay man. I celebrate his diversity and love him unconditionally. Like you I have never heard the church apologize for anything. Indeed, who in the church would do it? The first prophet of the restoration seems to have set the example in that regard. One possibly exception was at Carthage Jail. When Hyrum is fatally shot and cries, “I’m a dead man,” Joseph rushes to his side and cries out, “Oh, my dear brother Hyrum.” One wonders if he more clearly at that moment, saw what polygamy had brought upon him and his loved ones.
Well, the Church has apologized for a few things in my life time. One, when we were rejected for an adoption application for some pretty harsh reasons. A new director of the agency took over and apologized for the actions of the previous director about a year and a half after our heartless rejection. At the time of the rejection, however, any appeals to the formal Church hierarchy were returned with carefully worded letters which were akin to letters you receive from your local member of Congress — informational, but non-committal, and apparently, meant to avoid liability. My wife got a form letter from the secretary to the prophet (read like one, anyway). Although an apology from one person, for the actions of another doesn’t seem to have the same power, it counted for something — until he forced me to prove my commitment to the Church after he heard that I had said the experience with the previous director had presented a significant challenge to my commitment, which I had to work hard to overcome. Sort of cancelled the apology, in my view. Totally unnecessary, I thought, to force someone to do that after they had been so wronged.
And DH Oakes did seem to apologize for the behavior of Church members who were involved in the Mountain Meadows Massacre. I thought that was a huge glimmer of hope when he did so on the PBS.org documentary a few years ago. It wasn’t a formal apology, but was a sincere expression of regret that it happened. I was touched by it — it was such a breath of fresh air.
George wrote:Gosh SD, we sure are on the same wave length. Three years ago I handed my car keys (symbolic) over to my bishop and told him I was finished with home teaching. He said, “You can’t do that.” I explained that I had given it my best, not for five years, but for fifty years (half a century). I told him that it has never worked for me, I never had a junior companion and got turned away from the active families as often as the inactive ones (I think being divorced may have fueled that). Anyhow, he thought it over and thanked me for my service. It was OK to say no. Recently, a letter came from a new HPGL (new Bishop also), calling me to home teach three families and giving me a date to report my first month’s progress. Once again I explained my “keys” analogy. The HPGL looked unhappy, but didn’t say much. It is all right to say no. I have also requested that my current calling remain in place until I die (family history, I’m really really good at it). I got a few smiles on that request. As for a current temple recommend, no problem, I will seek one when the church apologizes for Prophet 8 (make that Proposition
. In closing, I once taught the HP lessons for two years without being called, I got tired of having the lesson read from the manual each week. When the new HPGL suggested I probably should be released, I told him it was not necessary, I hadn’t been called. He actually got tears in his eyes…I’m getting there on home teaching. I like the new changes to how you count “visits” in the new handbook. However, I feel tired of it now. Again, too programmatic and scripted. I think HT is another reason some people find it hard to get back to Church after they leave.
When any kind of apology is made, that seems to be what it is. A sincere regret for what happened, but not an outright apology or admission of guilt. Most Mormons I’ve talked to about Mountain Meadows, for instance, still believe that it was all the work of Native Americans, though history tells a different story. Of course no one wants to believe that the organization they are a part of, to which they’ve dedicated their entire lives, has members (high up or not) that were/are capable of such a thing. The fact remains, however, that we are all capable of unspeakable evil. I say it is by the common grace of God that we don’t see more evil than we do presently, or have in the past. I’ve heard apologies to people from membership or individuals, but never an outright apology as the official Church position. I’ve often wondered if the following equation applies: Apology + Wealth = Lawsuit.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.