Re: PiperAlpha’s post "I dont know if I can stay away"

.This became more than a simple response, and not wanting to hijack your thread, I started a new one.

I’ve been active my whole life. Even at college when I was on my own, I went to church when my roommates skipped.

But I need a break. I’ve read several posts on this board and people acknowledge that sometimes, in some circumstances, we may just need to take a break from church. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now in life, and a few weeks ago I took a Sunday off, and it felt good. But I felt kind of obligated to go with my kids the next Sunday.

I’ve been doing a lot of spiritual reading on my own, and still feel connected with the spirit from time to time. But I’ve lost the will to make church part of my weekly schedule. Its not like me to not attend, but I think right now is not the time to push myself to attend out of duty.

So I’m going to quit for a while. I have no axe to grind with anyone or any doctrine, I’m just exhausted. I wonder how long I can stay away before I start missing it? I’m a bit curious if it is harder to stay away, or harder to stay and make it work. I guess we’ll see. I remain open to whatever is next for me.

If anyone else has gone through a phase like mine, I’d be interested to hear if you found you couldn’t stay away and why, or if it was just a phase, or if you enjoyed staying away. It’s always good to hear your stories.

Piper It sounds to me that despite being active on this site where there are “believers” as well as those who “used to believe” you still believe enough to put your heart and soul into the work and just feel “exhausted” as you put it. Ya, I’ve been there. Many times in my life my efforts to measure up, to be the perfect EQP or counselor to the Bishop, go to the temple more often, collect fast offerings with the boys, Home Teaching, lesson planning, scout committee meeting, scripture study, young mens programs, reports, service, duty to god, repenting, being a shoulder to cry on……………………………………………….(it never ends, until you are perfect)!

When I used to “burn out” I would step back, regroup, feel enormous guilt, repent, gather my strength, and after a time dive back in with intentions to never be that “week” again, the lord will give me strength, I can and will be the perfect member!!!!!!!!! All in the name of serving God because this is His one and only true church.

I am so thankful for that day when in my gospel studies(I will be stronger!) I came across the church history that is not openly taught. Years later after shock, denial, desperate attempts at apologetics, crying for help in my prayers, then anger…..and finally acceptance. Now, thankful that this hasn’t destroyed my family, like it has for others, I enter the calm after the storm.

The crushing weight that I gladly accepted when “I knew” that this church was true has been lifted, and I feel so much relief, so much less stress, so much less guilt!!!!!!!!!!!

I could walk away, never look back, for me there is no “validity” approach to this church, I feel no guilt, for me the evidence makes it an easy call. But I stay, because of the “utility” or the good that I find there. There will still be storms ahead, but having reconciled so much cognitive dissonance I feel that my compass is functioning again!

PS. I miss Cwald