Judgment Day now!

Recently, I have been thinking that I want judgment day. I have not been able to sleep. It is probably because I don’t have a job, but part of me wants Judgment Day to happen. I have an issue with the term “honest in all things.” I have often heard it say that we cannot inherit the Celestial Kingdom unless we are completely honest. This statement is attributed to the Prophet Joseph Smith. I try to be completely honest, however I still think it isn’t the best course in life to do so. i guess I am jaded by the laws of the land (having been divorced, having friends that have been incarcerated). Alleged criminals often get themselves in more trouble by confessing, pleading not guilty instead of a plea deal where pleading guilty would have given them a lesser sentence even though they maintain their innocence because they are being honest. The laws of the land are made to “make” people lie to make life livable. I recently had an experience where I omitted some information (I felt really bad about the omission and lost sleep over it), and then because of the guilt, I later revealed the information. The outcome was unexpected: Instead of a reprimand, or discipline, I was told “oh that’s nice, but we didn’t need that information (about my graduate school).” Perhaps, I feel that I am not being honest with myself, or living to my full potential. If judgment day would happen today I would honestly be happy with the Terrestrial Kingdom. I know my wife and kids probably would not be. I just fear I’m going through a midlife crisis where I’m faced with a new career option, and I am worried about failure. I have already failed many times in life via past marriage, unwise decisions in career paths, and jobs. I can honestly say, I have not always sought the spirit in my decisions, but have lived with my own decisions and I am not entirely unhappy with them. I guess I am a rebel and a renegade in that regard. I guess our lives are more contingent upon how much emphasis we put on accomplishments, and achievements versus service of others. Nevertheless, if judgement Day were to happen today, or tomorrow I wouldn’t be surprised at the outcome, and I would accept it with open arms.

Many times I have felt the same way…should judgment day come, then many questions will be answered, if not completely, then at least partly. Do I exist after this life is over? Is Christ our judge? Is the Church going to continue on in the next life? And, I have this possibly mistaken belief that fears about the future will go away. I know that health problems, at least physical ones, will not be an issue anymore, no healthcare worries, etcetera. The out-of-the-blue bad things that happen will stop, I tell myself.

But who knows if this is true.

The counterpoint to this argument is that freedom is found in making choices now, even bad ones, and figuring out how to be happy in spite of them. Same with the future — I too think I’ll be pursuing another career soon, and it’s with some trepidation as I’m not a good fit with a lot of jobs that people seem to do naturally. However, in spite of the uncertainty, try leaning on Marcus Aurellius who made the comment “fear not the future, for we will face it with the same abilities with which we face the challenges of today” (my paraphrase).

Also, regarding honesty. My belief system has changed dramatically on that. Honesty is a balance really. You can be so honest you shoot yourself in the foot unecessarily. Small example. I was travelling with my father-in-law and he went to McDonalds. When he left the restaurant, he checked the bag in the car. They had given him a small fries that he didn’t ask for and didn’t pay for. As an LDS person with a strong ethics system, he insisted on going back into the store and telling the staff about it and returning them or paying for them — out of honesty. He tied up the whole van of people (5 of us) for this while he went back in, stood in line etcetera, and we were sort of tired and wanting to get on with our trip.

He later came back and reported “They said not to worry about it”.

In his case, I would NOT have gone back into the store. I would have reflected on the times I had ordered stuff and they gave me the wrong one, or left out something I ordered, or billed me for something I didn’t ask for, etcetera — and found out about it only after I got home. Or how they would not want to take back food that had left the counter, so they would simply write it off. It evens things out. I mentioned that to him and he said “That’s where you and I are different”.

So, in my view, you can be honest to the point of stupidity (sorry for that harsh word). And sometimes, not sharing details that will hurt you or someone else is the best thing for all people involved. The trick is to be able to discern when militant honesty IS the way to go, and when it is not the wisest course of action.

In court, where the stakes are high and where probabilities are at play, I think the rules are even more flexible. Particularly in court where the truth often doesn’t prevail.

I think the reason we never hear this from the GA’s is they CAN’T get up there and teach that a little bit of dishonesty is OK here and there after all factors are considered. They can only teach the nth degree of the law; if people err on the side being too honest, that’s OK. If they err on the side of dishonesty due to the teachings of the Church, then they will have a problem.

So, I take statements advocating strict, militant application of principles across all circumstances with a grain of salt. For me, it’s the ideal, and the ideal is subject to the vagaries of experience, complex circumstances, etcetera.

It is probably because I don’t have a job, but part of me wants Judgment Day to happen. I have often heard it say that we cannot inherit the Celestial Kingdom unless we are completely honest. This statement is attributed to the Prophet Joseph Smith. I try to be completely honest, however I still think it isn’t the best course in life to do so. I just fear I’m going through a midlife crisis where I’m faced with a new career option, and I am worried about failure. I have already failed many times in life via past marriage, unwise decisions in career paths, and jobs.

Jamison,

I understand the pressure you must be under. I was let go back in January and though I am in a new job now, I am constantly worried about being out of work again. I am frequently telling DW that I need her to be OK if things don’t work out here, that I need her to feel that being together as a family is more important than being stable location wise. I have also made some unwise investing decisions and we have taken some considerable losses. You are OK. You are doing the best you can and there are people that care about you…not just for you to put food on the table or fill this role or that, but because their connection to you is important to them.

Honesty – I’m never been burdened with an overdeveloped sense of honesty. When I took the meyers-briggs it said that my type is prone to dishonesty. Now, was I born that way, or reared that way, or is my meyers briggs type a reflection of my unscrupulous decisions? I am inclined to vote towards the former but it is difficult to pinpoint. From my perspective, if you need to be completely honest in order to enter the celestial kingdom than it will be an awfully deserted place. I have heard some say that declaring bankruptcy is not “being honest with your fellow men.” While I understand there is some room for personal or local leadership interpretation, it seems that the general consensus from church leadership is leaning away from this interpretation. I would take the fact that you are worried about this honesty issue as either a sign that honesty is very important to you personally based on your “type” or that your heart is in the right place – either way I think God understands your struggles, tendencies, and decisions and BTW – He loves you!

As for Judgment – I would like to repeat some thoughts I had from a previous post:

For me salvation is being loved, being accepted. It is knowing that God sees through my exterior and my persona. He passes through to the fleshy, quivering, vulnerable parts and he loves me. He doesn’t love me because of how great/good/not totally screwed up that I am, but rather because of his great capacity and the relationship he has with me.

As long as I have this love everything else will be OK. If my merciful loving Father feels I would be best suited in the Telestial or Terrestrial spheres, I will trust in His wisdom. If he feels I should be a ministering angel, I will be a ministering angel in the family of God. Wherever I am sent and whatever I may be asked to do there, I will always be my Father’s son.

I love the idea of eternal families, but somewhat reject the idea that if I am found unworthy my kids will become spiritual orphans unless they can be sealed into another man’s family by virtue of their faithfulness. If I become the Celestial kingdom janitor and my children become as Gods, I will love them and support them and beam with pride. I can’t imagine that they will forget me in the hereafter, nor that they would be prohibited from talking to me because of my lowly position.

It is theoretically possible that there is no hereafter and that we cease to exist when we die. This does not change the fact that I feel my Savior’s love, I endeavor to share this love with those around me, and in so doing to create a community of love – a community of salvation. I don’t always feel the love as clearly (I get discouraged too), but when I do feel it – it is glorious.

I have also really enjoyed pondering the concept that all will receive “eternal progression” as long as they don’t turn away from the “Great Teacher” through a fully informed rejection of Him (i.e. to become a SOP). If you aren’t the smartest, fastest, richest, most attractive, most famous, or best smelling among all the people that you know – SO WHAT!!!!!! Let them learn at their own pace, knowing that God won’t give up on you -won’t give you an “F” for fail – but will continue to tutor you at your own pace until you arrive at your own personal “A” and beyond.

Hang in there – your friend,

Roy

I just fear I’m going through a midlife crisis where I’m faced with a new career option, and I am worried about failure. I have already failed many times in life via past marriage, unwise decisions in career paths, and jobs. I can honestly say, I have not always sought the spirit in my decisions, but have lived with my own decisions and I am not entirely unhappy with them.

Jamison, buddy, hang in there.

I can honestly say that I have sought the spirit in my decisions…and you know what…I’ve failed many times in all areas of my life.

The important thing is to allow yourself to learn from failures…careers, relationships, finances…you get more chances to keep learning and improving them, and you are bound to make mistakes as you do. Don’t compare yourself to others, just realize you can find peace with yourself by focusing on the here and now, not the mistakes of the past or the fears of the future. Fear should not run our lives. All the good motivational speakers will bring up examples of great people…and how many times they failed but looked past those to succeed. It is a part of life. It is the training grounds for us. …and I’m not sure we really know much about the kingdoms in the next life…so no need to start judging yourself now…Judgement Day will come someday to all…just live now in a way that helps you find peace and joy, and dispel the fears that hold you back.

thanks to all of you that posted. I had one of those typical drive-through stories last night that hinges on the honesty question.

I bought a shake and a soda last night for my wife. The bill was $5.80, and I thought to pay with exact change, but I did not have a five or enough ones. I had a 10 dollar bill and 80 cents, but figured that I could just add twenty cents to my change drawer and not worry about counting out 80 cents. Well guess what? I was ripped off a dollar. The cashier did not reiterate the amount (I new it and just handed a 10). What I got handed back was the twenty cents and 3 ones, not four. I didn’t know this initially because it was odd (sleight of hand) the bills were folded in half (professional cashiers count it back to you, obviously). I was feeling crappy so I just wanted to get home. When I pulled in the drive I grabbed the money and realized my folly for not giving exact change or counting the money in front of the cashier and calling her on her crap. When, I got home I told my wife, and I said I practically knew I could or would get duped. My wife said, “maybe the cashier didn’t know how to count.” I replied, “she knew exactly what she was doing because of how she handed the bills folded in half (any trained cashier does not do it that way). Additionally, that worker has worked there for over a year (I remember what she looks like). Next, time I dine in, I will ask for more assistance, just to get back (for fun). I finished the ordeal by saying, “I think she needed that dollar more than us, and next time I will tick her off by paying with exact change.” I didn’t necessarily feel duped with this incident, it just would have been better for me to use exact change or pay with $10.80 because I would have known that I would be getting a five back. I just think it was hilarious since I have been talking about honesty. LOL.

It’s precisely that reason that I don’t feel bad when I come home and found I’ve been given something extra in the bag by accident. Sometimes, these matters are not worth the trouble to get them right again — not worth it for the person wronged and for the person doing the wronging — whether intentionally or uninentionally.

I had a hall owner do the same thing for me. My band had a contract with the hall to perform for three hours for a set amount. At the end of the night he gave me bills folded up; it was late and I was tired so I just took them. When I got home I found out he’d stiffed us $25.00. I don’t use this as an excuse to willfully “stiff” other people, but when luck or chance falls my way on small ticket items with the same company that has disadvantaged me in the past, I don’t worry about it anymore. Particularly since they say “don’t worry about it” to me or my father in law when we HAVE gone back to do the honest thing.

Oh, and perhaps the funniest experience I ever had (years ago) was seeing the face of the person at McDonald’s who accidentally gave me $10 more in change than I should have gotten (change for a $20 bill instead of a $10 bill) when I drove back through the drive-thru and handed it back to her. I said, “You gave me too much change,” and she actually said, “You came back to give it back to me?!?!” – in a voice that couldn’t have been more surprised and incredulous.

It still makes me smile just thinking about it years later.

I define honestly as being honest with the relationship I have with the other person. For example if its my kids (all below age I only tell them what I think is appropriate for them, and don’t feel like I’m being dishonest for not telling them something or not telling them the whole truth. For my employers, I’ve worked from some small companies before and when I decided to leave I would look for new jobs without telling them, until I found a new job and then gave me 2 weeks notice. The hard part was that you develop personal relationships with people in a small company and it feels like your lying to them, but I know I was being honest with the business relationship that I had with them. If I were stealing or falsifying my time sheet or something like that that would lying. When looking for a new job, and I update my resume and choose to present only the good and leave out facts that don’t immediately sell I sometimes feel like its being dishonest but then I apply the same logic and know its OK to sell yourself in the best possible light. With friends I don’t feel obligated to tell them everything going on with me and my wife, even if I’m telling them a portion of the story.

OK, I think I listed several examples that most people would agree with and find that they do themselves as well. Someone could easily say I was rationalizing my dishonestly and I would have to agree with them. I have no problem taking a rational approach to how I live my life, and apply the gospel principles. Failure to do that leads to chaos and heartache. There are still times I’m too honest, and times where I probably should have been more honest. Pretty much the same as most I imagine.

So when I get asked do I am honest with my fellow man. I honestly answer yes, full well knowing that when my wife asked if the dress made her look fat and I said no that I am still an honest man.

I think you made good points about how sometimes being kind is better than being completely openly honest.

Honestly, who is 100% honest? We aren’t even awaren enough about all we could be aware about to be. lol

Jamison,

Judgment day is up to you, I think. Even Joseph Smith taught that we are our own condemners & NDE’s support this.

We’re created to be imperfect – to screw up now & then. God, in His/Her infinite wisdom created us that way so we could learn.

I think what’s most important is to finish strong!