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I don’t know if this has been discussed elsewhere. I’m addicted to mormon social media. Or maybe obsessional. Or habitually using. I attended an Addiction Recovery Group recently in my area and was almost laughed at when I said I was addicted to it. I felt like I needed to invent something more credible to get people to empathise.
I spend too much time in the “bloggernacle.” I sometimes sneak off to the bathroom during work hours to check the boards. I might sit in the car a bit longer before going into the office to “send one more reply.”
A few weeks ago I was away at my (nonmo) FIL. I couldn’t get online for 48 hours. I was getting skittish. The second we got home I grabbed my phone and got on the boards. It was literally like the guy who already has a cigarette in his mouth as he walks out of the airport.
I’m sat, at 00:15, on several Mormon social media, with a massive pile of work to do tomorrow, end of year accounts to write and a wonderful wife who has gone off to bed alone… again! I know she’s getting fed up of my obsession with mormon social media. She stopped attending about 3 years ago, so has been patient with my faith transition in the hope I will be able to reach a resolution.
I keep trying to stop spending so many hours in the “bloggernacle.” But I keep finding I “can’t.” I don’t like that word. It sounds so helpless. But it feels emotionally impossible to make a clean break. I’ve tried a few times before, deleting apps and leaving devices turned off. But it keeps creeping back.
Any similar experiences? Do I need to make a clean break or can I potentially moderate and minimise over time?
There are worse things to be addicted to, deffo. But that’s partially why I don’t go on Facebook, because I spend too much time online already. The entire Mormon experience is well served online – whether TBM or fundie, exmo or postmo, socialite or antimo, historian or convert, BIC or “foreign” Mormons like us. We come from parts of the world where LDS are exotic, and it’s very useful for people like us.
The church is definitely a pioneer of one particular field online – genealogical research.
Despite all the antiMormon stuff online, or because of it, we’re now in an age of LDS perestroika and glasnost… and the Mormon historical documents online and Mormon.org are great paradigm shifts we can get behind.
Mackay – I think it’s real. The internet is addicting and I believe in time it will be considered a viable addiction. My husband who is on NOM and six years into his transition is addicted, by his own admission, between boards, facebook groups, the works. Every time a feather drops in Mormonism, he’s there. So yes – high five, I believe. I also think it’s not just Mormon Social Media – I know bloggers, pinteristers, food guru’s, authors, and more who are constantly updating, twittering, hashtagging, responding it. Cutting the cord is painful. I am just as guilty of it. The one thing I keep laughing about is the scripture that says, “All things will be shouted from the roof tops.” Is this the fulfillment of that. We can’t breathe with out it. I love going on vacation, because I purposely leave everything at home, it’s like stepping away from the bar.
I get you. A bunch of us have it in spades. Even if we’re not ready to confess.
Sam – Great thoughts there, I love the perestroika connection. I need to remember the good with the bad. Mormon social media has been a two edged sword in my life. It cut off and took away my heart. In another, it has been the hospital of my soul. Online I can sort out pain. Balance is the challenge. I haven’t found it yet. Luckily, like you I haven’t added facebook to my online experience. My facebook is personal, dedicated to writing, to my family, and puppy.
Part of the problem is we have to communicate through internet. This complicates things. IAD is recognized by some psychologists by the way.
Yes – just like any other form of online addiction. Cadence wrote:Perhaps we need a modification to the WofW to include abstaining from keystrokes
Perhaps the Sabbath day should have a certain number of keystrokes you can make?
Please, please, please — no more rules!! We have enough already!!! mackay11 wrote:Any similar experiences? Do I need to make a clean break or can I potentially moderate and minimise over time?
Yes, I’ve struggled too. I’ve experimented with a lot of potentially addicting things, but nothing has grabbed a hold of me like social networking.For one thing, I love to write – always have! And another – I’m a social catepillar (social introvert).
I tried cutting back, and it worked for maybe 2 minutes…
😆 Finally, I went to a therapist and asked for help. She told me to not go on anything for 2 weeks and return and report.
It worked – because I felt like I didn’t want to let her down, and I really wanted to get my life back (like you, I could see how it was interfering).
I only saw the therapist a couple more times – and did get some helpful info (about life traps/schemas).
I also have realized that addictions/obsessions are attempts to fill voids, but also there is this chemical in the brain that is released, which is addicting, but not satisfying.
It’s like running on a treadmill, when you are exhausted and really want to stop, but can’t.
Something has to stop it – suddenly (cold turkey) IMO, for there to be change… then moderation might be possible, but still, you have to be careful.
Now, I limit my time online to 1 hour a day, max… and sometimes don’t go on for a few days, and I’m ok.
Keep us posted… or rather don’t!
:shifty: Featherina wrote:mackay11 wrote:Any similar experiences? Do I need to make a clean break or can I potentially moderate and minimise over time?
Yes, I’ve struggled too. I’ve experimented with a lot of potentially addicting things, but nothing has grabbed a hold of me like social networking.For one thing, I love to write – always have! And another – I’m a social catepillar (social introvert).
I tried cutting back, and it worked for maybe 2 minutes…
😆 Finally, I went to a therapist and asked for help. She told me to not go on anything for 2 weeks and return and report.
It worked – because I felt like I didn’t want to let her down, and I really wanted to get my life back (like you, I could see how it was interfering).
I only saw the therapist a couple more times – and did get some helpful info (about life traps/schemas).
I also have realized that addictions/obsessions are attempts to fill voids, but also there is this chemical in the brain that is released, which is addicting, but not satisfying.
It’s like running on a treadmill, when you are exhausted and really want to stop, but can’t.
Something has to stop it – suddenly (cold turkey) IMO, for there to be change… then moderation might be possible, but still, you have to be careful.
Now, I limit my time online to 1 hour a day, max… and sometimes don’t go on for a few days, and I’m ok.
Keep us posted… or rather don’t!
:shifty: Thanks everyone.
Featherina, this was really useful. Much appreciated.
If I disappear for 2 weeks over Christmas/New Year it’s to try this.
mackay11 wrote:
If I disappear for 2 weeks over Christmas/New Year it’s to try this.I will be too. But I’m going to a retreat center!
mackay11 wrote:Featherina wrote:mackay11 wrote:Any similar experiences? Do I need to make a clean break or can I potentially moderate and minimise over time?
Yes, I’ve struggled too. I’ve experimented with a lot of potentially addicting things, but nothing has grabbed a hold of me like social networking.For one thing, I love to write – always have! And another – I’m a social catepillar (social introvert).
I tried cutting back, and it worked for maybe 2 minutes…
😆 Finally, I went to a therapist and asked for help. She told me to not go on anything for 2 weeks and return and report.
It worked – because I felt like I didn’t want to let her down, and I really wanted to get my life back (like you, I could see how it was interfering).
I only saw the therapist a couple more times – and did get some helpful info (about life traps/schemas).
I also have realized that addictions/obsessions are attempts to fill voids, but also there is this chemical in the brain that is released, which is addicting, but not satisfying.
It’s like running on a treadmill, when you are exhausted and really want to stop, but can’t.
Something has to stop it – suddenly (cold turkey) IMO, for there to be change… then moderation might be possible, but still, you have to be careful.
Now, I limit my time online to 1 hour a day, max… and sometimes don’t go on for a few days, and I’m ok.
Keep us posted… or rather don’t!
:shifty: Thanks everyone.
Featherina, this was really useful. Much appreciated.
If I disappear for 2 weeks over Christmas/New Year it’s to try this.
You’re welcome. I’m glad to be of help.Good luck!
:thumbup: mackay11 wrote:I spend too much time in the “bloggernacle.” I sometimes sneak off to the bathroom during work hours to check the boards. I might sit in the car a bit longer before going into the office to “send one more reply.”
I think I may be suffering from the same affliction! I am constantly checking on all the boards, facebook groups, i guess its a bit of a problem. My excuse is that I would say this period is one heck of a show, watching the church morph and struggle with the opening of the history books, grab the popcorn and your smartphone!!
mackay11 wrote:I’m sat, at 00:15, on several Mormon social media, with a massive pile of work to do tomorrow, end of year accounts to write and a wonderful wife who has gone off to bed alone… again! I know she’s getting fed up of my obsession with mormon social media. She stopped attending about 3 years ago, so has been patient with my faith transition in the hope I will be able to reach a resolution.
I am sitting here with a pile of docs to review on the work laptop while i am typing here on my own one, so I can sympathise. I seem to recall you saying you were an IT contractor? Is my memory right???? (I am too BTW – Solution Architect)
brit-exmo wrote:mackay11 wrote:I spend too much time in the “bloggernacle.” I sometimes sneak off to the bathroom during work hours to check the boards. I might sit in the car a bit longer before going into the office to “send one more reply.”
I think I may be suffering from the same affliction! I am constantly checking on all the boards, facebook groups, i guess its a bit of a problem. My excuse is that I would say this period is one heck of a show, watching the church morph and struggle with the opening of the history books, grab the popcorn and your smartphone!!
mackay11 wrote:I’m sat, at 00:15, on several Mormon social media, with a massive pile of work to do tomorrow, end of year accounts to write and a wonderful wife who has gone off to bed alone… again! I know she’s getting fed up of my obsession with mormon social media. She stopped attending about 3 years ago, so has been patient with my faith transition in the hope I will be able to reach a resolution.
I am sitting here with a pile of docs to review on the work laptop while i am typing here on my own one, so I can sympathise. I seem to recall you saying you were an IT contractor? Is my memory right???? (I am too BTW – Solution Architect)
I work in market research so very deadline heavy. I can empathise with that ‘pile of work but the bloggernacle’s more appealing.’ (He says… with a 10am deadline tomorrow morning…)
I do the same thing. I have a lot of tedious boring work that I have been doing for 20 years now, during certain periods and weeks. I divert here whenever I can’t stand it anymore. The volume of my posting is directly proportional to the amount of interest my work generates for me (and to the amount of upheaval my church membership causes me at any given time). As you can tell, I’m doing boring work right now. Church experience is stable. And so, I post….at StayLDS.
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