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We got into a discussion on Wheat & Tares this weekend in response to an excellent post by Andrew S: http://www.wheatandtares.org/2011/09/08/strange-bedfellows-for-progressive-mormons/ A guy named Jesse Stay who works in Church IT and is somewhat of a VIP had some interesting remarks about how to give input to church leadership. He says church leaders are listening. Ray offered to give him insights. We’ve been at this for a while, and I was wondering – what do you think are the 3-5 most important things church leaders need to do to change church culture or policy to improve our ability to bring in converts and to retain members?
Off the top of my head: 1) Openly respect and acknowledge differences – that people can believe differently and still be considered faithful. Preach that from the General Conference pulpit fairly regularly until it’s ingrained into the general membership, and use specific examples explicitly. (political affiliation, doctrinal understanding, facial hair, etc.)
2) Focus on making our meetings “revelatory opportunities”, especially making Sacrament Meeting a spiritual worship service.
3) Emphasize “sharing the Gospel” by just talking naturally about our lives and inviting people to attend meetings and activities with us with no expectation of immediate conversion. Quit talking about “member missionary work” completely.
Encourage community service as the central aspect of ward and auxiliary activities – and stress service of those whom we don’t serve naturally.
4) Make it crystal clear that single adults can serve in ANY local calling, except perhaps Bishop and Relief Society President. Encourage meaningful callings for YSA’s, including presidency positions – even if that means expanding to three counselors where possible.
5) Quit opposing gay marriage openly and publicly. Let it be settled legally and address it like abortion is addressed officially in the Newsroom. (Basically, we take no position concerning legislation regarding it.)
6) Be much more open about soliciting input without any fear of negative consequence. Provide an online forum for anonymous input, if necessary – understanding the crap that will be said by many people but enduring it to get to the pearls of wisdom.
As “secondary” but important policy changes:
6) Change the marriage policy to allow ALL members world-wide to marry civilly and publicly first and then be sealed in the temple privately.
7) Revamp the temple recommend interview to streamline it and eliminate some of the questions currently asked.
Some thoughts on your notes:
Quote:1) Openly respect and acknowledge differences – that people can believe differently and still be considered faithful. Preach that from the General Conference pulpit fairly regularly until it’s ingrained into the general membership, and use specific examples explicitly. (political affiliation, doctrinal understanding, facial hair, etc.)
This is clear, but how to make it stick in such an authoritative culture where people confuse their political affilitation with their religious affiliation and think that a white shirt is more righteous than a blue one? Plus, earrings and tattoos. That’s a pretty silly one. Basically, a lot less markers for judging others. Drinking coke is not a WoW violation.
Quote:2) Focus on making our meetings “revelatory opportunities”, especially making Sacrament Meeting a spiritual worship service.
Not sure how to make this happen. What do you suggest?
Quote:3) Emphasize “sharing the Gospel” by just talking naturally about our lives and inviting people to attend meetings and activities with us with no expectation of immediate conversion. Quit talking about “member missionary work” completely.
Encourage community service as the central aspect of ward and auxiliary activities – and stress service of those whom we don’t serve naturally.
Agree with this, but the problem is that we’ve outlawed authenticity for so long (and Jesse is no exception) that we don’t exist any more. We know the PR routine of missionary work. There’s a face we are required to put on. We don’t even think about it any more. It has to first be OK for people to be themselves. Then we can do this. Again, Jesse reveals he doesn’t get this with his anti-uncensored blogging derision. Even mormon.org censors who we are allowed to be (in this case, they are right to do so).
Quote:4) Make it crystal clear that single adults can serve in ANY local calling, except perhaps Bishop and Relief Society President. Encourage meaningful callings for YSA’s, including presidency positions – even if that means expanding to three counselors where possible.
This is clear and easy to do.
Quote:5) Quit opposing gay marriage openly and publicly. Let it be settled legally and address it like abortion is addressed officially in the Newsroom. (Basically, we take no position concerning legislation regarding it.)
I agree wholeheartedly. If someone who is heterosexual and commits adultery is welcome to worship with us (but not hold callings), then why wouldn’t we allow gay couples? There still seems to be a fear that as heterosexuals we’re all one really convincing conversation away from becoming homosexuals.
Quote:6) Be much more open about soliciting input without any fear of negative consequence. Provide an online forum for anonymous input, if necessary – understanding the crap that will be said by many people but enduring it to get to the pearls of wisdom.
Do they even NEED to solicit it? Surf the blogs. I find it an excellent listening post. I think Jesse’s desire to receive feedback on his own turf is a symptom of the problem. But the other issue is that none of the sites he pointed to are places to give feedback. The church still wants control: 1) of the public face of the church (it’s OK to blog, but only in the Lord’s approved way??), and 2) of how feedback is received and vetted upward. While he may be acknowledging that programs, policies and manuals are not 100% inspired by God, not everyone seems to hold that view. If they really want feedback, they should ask for it more intelligently – by constituent for example. But I suspect the issue is that they don’t really want feedback. If that’s the case, they should just admit it.
As “secondary” but important policy changes:
Quote:6) Change the marriage policy to allow ALL members world-wide to marry civilly and publicly first and then be sealed in the temple privately.
Agreed, also an easy do.
Quote:7) Revamp the temple recommend interview to streamline it and eliminate some of the questions currently asked.
Agreed. Excellent suggestion – what are your specifics?
Here are some more I would add:
1. Revamp the manuals. They are outdated and lack cross-cultural sensitivity and substance. As a teacher of 12-13 YO SS, I love the lessons that are on a gospel principle. The ones about the lives of the prophets are water thin on content and include stories that don’t necessariliy match the morals we’ve assigned to them. They are sometimes downright hypocritical and I can’t teach them with a straight face. We are praising Pres. Joseph F Smith for his answers to Gospel Questions column, which was basically Biblical literalism gone awry, misapplication and proof texting. We’re praising Pres. Kimball for being a champion of Forgiveness when gay teens and victims of incest have committed suicide because of MoF. My Aussie students are totally confused about the prejudices against “Indians” whom they think are from India.
2. Kill the anti-evolution rhetoric on lds.org and be clear that the church has no official stance, or better yet, turn that topic over to the BYU Biology department and let them clean it up.
3. Quit using words like “modesty” to describe little girls’ sundresses.
4. Make garments less of a hair shirt we wear because our lives are now effectively over and more of a blessing we revere that makes us feel like beautiful daughters of God, not humiliating things that make us feel like fat cows in granny panties. At minimum, find some wicking fabrics for climates that are hot & humid, kill the scratchy lace, make the seams flat, and make the armpit holes bigger.
I’m sure I could come up with more, but that’s a good starter. I really do hope he’s interested in the feedback, but based on the discussion over there, I suspect he is not.
I am so dumb and should have known better. Lost my whole hour long epistle to a server time-out… 🙄 Gotta get back to work. Here’s the too-short version:
CONVERTS:1. Let go of the World = Satan, culture of defensive victim-hood and persecution complex.
There’s only so many people in the world (a very small number) who want to be a part of an ultra-hardcore army of spiritual warriors fighting for survival in the last days before the apocalypse, willing to sacrifice ALL for a bigger mansion in heaven. We can’t make converts if we are so awkward, weird and insular that we can’t allow our children to have non-member friends for fear they might be influenced by the adversary and led astray.
2. Being True(TM) is lazy.
We’re so focused on having an amazing, exclusive, inside scoop on the “truth,” we often forget to even be good or effective.
3. Baptism does not equal perfection.
It’s the gateway to a LONG journey of enlightenment, not the destination. Neither are the temple ordinances. We need to take a SERIOUS look at getting comfortable with “flawed” people, and being comfortable with having them all around us, sitting in the pews next to us, being friends with them. We need to stop being a museum for the gods, and start being Good News to the humans again.
4. Get rid of cultural imperialism.
Classic complaint about western business suits for men, and dresses-only for women. The foundation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not based on the rock of 1950’s post-war, American, fashions and the nuclear family (but with 8 kids).
5. Service missions for the majority. Preaching missions for a minority who really want that.
At this point, fresh water wells and post-war rebuilding will do more to make the world a better place than feel-good videos depicting affluent Americans wondering about their existential nature set to an elevator-music soundtrack. They’d get more young people to volunteer and feel proud of their “missions” too (more conversions of the already-converted) compared to knocking on endless doors and getting them slammed in their faces in secular European countries.
6. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop the family relationship disaster of temple-only weddings in the U.S. (and the other 1 or 2 countries that allow this).
RETENTION:
1. Families are Forever … really?
Please de-emphasize the magical ritual guarantee of sealing families, and focus more on the actual relationships. It creates lazy relationships that avoid problems. It makes it terribly discouraging for anyone who doesn’t fit the 1950’s nuclear family mold (which is a large number of members). Too many people just give up.
A much more universal message of family and human connections would resonate better. Make the power of sealing more about actually building a good relationship, and less about it totally falling apart if the least flaw in the ritual or belief is detected, making it worthless (leading to divorce, etc.).
2. Less busy work, more meaning.
Fewer meetings about meetings. Less teaching each other from talks we already heard. Less time visiting people who don’t need or want to be visited. More time making a real difference in the world. How about a temple recommend question about volunteering? Ask people how they have created more peace and compassion in the world, and less about their home teaching numbers or dedication to acceptance of a dogma.
And if you can’t find enough people to get all the programs done, start prioritizing and cut stuff. Don’t do 20 programs all half-assed and terrible so that nobody gets anything out of them, and deads Church. Do 5 things AWESOME and you will win hearts and minds.
3. Bring back the cultural and social activities.
Roadshows, plays, dances, Sunday picnics, barn raisings (whatever the modern equivalent is), etc. People are really more interested in being connected and in positive community. You don’t have to say this or preach it from the pulpit, but it is true. The Truth(TM) is really secondary to the community for the vast majority of people.
4. Less railroading the youth.
Worry more about giving them tools to be what the Spirit prompts them to be and do out there in the world. Spend less effort making them all look and talk the same. Young women in particular are not resonating with the extreme focus on getting married and having babies ASAP.
5. Please turn this thing back into a “true and living” church, and stop trying to make it into a profitable business franchise.
Fwiw, I know the leadership is more than just aware of the blogs. ALL of the “major” ones are read regularly – both individual and group blogs. I know mine is – at about 10:00-10:30 every weekday. I know from personal experience that the large group blogs are known to the apostles – and it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if they get fairly regular updates on the really interesting threads. That might scare some people, and it can be a legitimate concern, but I also have heard some positive things in General Conference recently that I attribute to what has been said in the Bloggernacle and other Mormon-themed blogs. Overall, I believe blogging by members has been a HUGE net good over the last five years, at least, when it comes to the Church leadership’s understanding of the membership.
and I agree with Hawk’s analysis of Jesse’s input on W&T.
So, which ones are the “major” ones? I assume BCC, T&S and maybe FMH? Ray’s point #1, along with what Hawk was saying I would love to see a major shift to “teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves.” It would thrill me to no end to hear a GC talk quoting this and saying something like “we have made too specific recommendations in the past – let’s not judge one another.” The other thoughts are also great. I love #3 and #6, it would be wonderful to give U.S. members the option to marry civilly first when they have non-member family.
I absolutely agree that any type of anti-evolution or anti-science nonsense must stop. I have close relationships with some people that are so backwoods on this subject it’s really kind of scary – and I’m sure kind of repulsive to some would-be converts.
Promote the concept of CONTINUING revelation in a way that says our understanding tomorrow will NOT equal our understanding of yesterday!
* – scale back some of the correlation effects, let people apply their local culture more freely.
SERVICE missions!!! I LOVE that idea, and I think it would greatly add to the young missionaries sense of self-worth.
The other GC talk that I would Love, love, love to hear — a connection drawn between unrealistic expectations and the modern faith-crisis phenomena. This is my personal soap-box issue. You cannot prove the church true or false, but people can absolutely say “the church as a whole (history, practices, teachings) does not match what MY personal expectations were!” I see a beneficial mission in considering and possibly modifying the expectations that we are helping people set up for themselves. Like Bushman says we need to be in harmony with the historical record, this is a pro-innoculation issue. I also see this as the point Dan Peterson missed when he couldn’t see where some disaffected were coming from — it’s the emotional position of missed expectations, it’s personal. I also think the ex-mo’s (not to promote their cause) would be heard more widely if they said the church “did not match my expectations” instead of saying “isn’t what it claims to be.” I would love to see a better understanding in the church around this issue in general.
I wish I had more time to write more thoughts, maybe I’ll try tonight or sometime when I have more time, but for now…from my church experience last week as I was thinking about it…here were some ideas: hawkgrrrl wrote:how to make it stick in such an authoritative culture
1. I think that is part of the problem. The culture needs to be changed (no small task), but de-emphasize authority and obedience to it. Emphasize more Christ-like approach of shepherding, or openly accepting differences not requiring everyone change to the Salt Lake norm. In short…truly embrace diversity which they seem to say the church does…but I only see it to a point because of the other side of their mouth they preach conformity to standards as a sign of faith.2. Leaders can’t truly understand others if they keep sheltered from the world, and just think that all within mormonism is all you need, therefore outsiders must conform to the mormon way to find happiness. I compare this to BYU football. In Provo and the rest of Utah, while some like BYU and some hate it…a lot of people think BYU and Univ of Utah are major sporting teams that should be ranked among the national best. When you leave the west, you see they really aren’t on the blip of most people’s radar, and other major teams dominate the sports scene. BYU fans feel discriminated against…but it is just because there are so many other teams that have been good for so long, and truth is…they have better athletes. BYU fans need that perspective. So do church leaders. They need to not fear that respecting others in the world does not have to mean losing Mormon identity or becoming corrupted. We just have to accept the reality of who we are, and give appropriate respect to others.
3. Leaders should be focusing on the needs of the people. Some need intellectual stimulation…provide that. Some need social stimulation…provide that. Some need service and real help with basic human needs…provide that. While we need hope and faith for blessings in the next world…they cannot ignore the immediate needs in this world that help get there. Perhaps there are times when leaders who are successful, have happy families and marriages, good jobs, and good living, don’t fully realize the struggles members go through…and are ill-equipped to counsel with them.
I think the changes would come from revamping the manuals, and placing emphasis on different activities…not just keep trying to be more efficient with current practice (more home teaching, more temple attendance, more missionary work, more scripture study). Why not have more joint projects with local congregations of other churches? I think ward talent is way underutilized because we try to correlate everything…it needs to swing back to more freedom and autonomy to practice the gospel.
Just some of my thoughts for now. I don’t really think there is some silver bullet, I just think the efficacy of the church in people’s lives determines if people turn to it or not. The call to zion because Christ is coming tomorrow and we better repent doesn’t seem to hold for hundreds and hundreds of years.
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