Endowments today and a little argument.

That’s wonderful you are going through today! Good luck! I hope it is as meaningful as it was for me when I first went through to get my endowments. Best advice my dad gave me…Don’t worry about the details or trying to remember everything told you, or what everything means…focus on the feeling you have in your heart while you are there.

I see temple work as a symbolic thing… Am I wrong?

I tend to agree with you that symbolism is what it is all about…but to say you are right and your parents are wrong is as black and white as what you are saying you are frustrated with them about. Accept their interpretation is “right” for them.

I have two comments — one from a traditional believer’s perspective, and then one from my own perspective, garnered from Brian Johnston, one of our moderators.

The traditional believer’s perspective is that we will have the entire millenium to do work when a lot of people from all time periods will be resurrected and will therefore have knowledge of the gaps we are missing now. This will allow the work to go forward at an accelerated rate. Also, during that period, the scriptures say all things will be known, which I think includes family history information. So, the barriers we experience today won’t be as big of an issue. Plus, traditional believers just have faith that the things they have been told will work out somehow.

From my own perspective, I like what Brian said a while ago — you have to get to a place where you are at peace with the ideas that people in the Church have, even though you don’t agree with them or accept them fully. This will be especially true on your mission when you will be neck-deep in traditional, active members on a regular basis.

To extend this idea, I like to look at the beliefs of Church members the same way I looked at an Indian Funeral I attended. It was Hindu in nature, and entirely foreign to me, but I respected the customs and the feelings and immersed myself in it, without being judgmental — it was just the outgrowth of that group of people’s way of looking at the world that grew into acceptance amongst that nation. And, recognize there is significant diversity of opinion within that nature on cultural values, just as there is on the whole work for the dead concept within our Church. There were a couple things that made me uncomfortable about it, but I chose not to judge — just be part of it and observe, understand and support the people there in their quest for comfort and closure.

Also, recognize that raising contrarion ideas among traditional believers can be VERY threatening to them — particularly when they are family. For one, people get significant comfort from religion, and to call into question its foundations and underpinnings threatens that comfort. It is very threatening for some people to hear ideas that call into question their very faith, and all the behaviors and beliefs that have emanated from those central beliefs.

And for others in your family, they might feel it affects their salvation. My wife feels that without me, she will not go to the Celestial Kingdom, so my contrarion ideas are not only a threat to our homelife now,but to her very salvation. That is VERY threatening among spouses.

I am not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing with any of these beliefs traditional believers have. I simply say that on these points of difference, one can sit back in the armchair and peace and look upon their beliefs with empathy, content in your confidence that their beliefs don’t have to be the only way to look at the issue. And second, that you are comfortable with your own way of looking at the situation. And third, recognizing how uncomfortable it will make others to share your contrarion ideas. So, out of respect for traditional believers and their peace, you keep it to yourself, and choose to ask questions to deepen understanding of why they believe so strongly, or simply get their opinion on matters related to the temple. Use the interactions to broaden your view of the world rather than to arrive at some agreement on what to believe.

And if you’re like me, then, afterwards go and share what you really think online!

I see it all as symbolic – and, for me, that makes it EXPONENTIALLY more powerful.

I’m not everyone else, however – so I reserve the right to honor and not try to change what works for someone else, since I want them to do that for me.

Perhaps over time there will be small opportunities here and there to discuss deeper topics with them.

But as my therapist says…it’s all about Tact, Timing, and Dosage. Somethings can only be done in small doses to be digested.

Thanks for sharing.

I really like the connection between Mormon temple practices and ancestor worship in Eastern religions. There is something to be said for revering those who’ve come and gone before us. We don’t really talk about it as worship, but keeping those connections and seeing ourselves as part of an ongoing genetic line has powerful stuff to it. I do find it intriguing.

As for your mom, parents often respond to the emotion they are sensing rather than the content of what you say. Perhaps she was freaked out by what she thought your intents were. I was surprised once when I made a negative remark about the temple to my mom (both she & my dad did a joint temple mission), and she totally agreed with me and then went off on some thing that bugged her. Apparently I come from a long line of ranters!

Eastern religions call it ancestor worship, but it is really just revering and honoring their dead. It’s more similar than it is different from our focus on genealogy and proxy work in the temples. But it’s a unique thing to Mormonism within Christianity, which is kind of cool. There are quite a few closer parallels between Mormonism and Eastern religion than with most other Christian sects.