My friends need this forum I think

We absolutely aren’t a splinter group. There isn’t any doubt whatsoever about that. There’s no way I’d be involved with a splinter group – and if this site ever became that, I’d be gone. As long as the current admin team remains involved here, that won’t happen. I guarantee that.

Now, for a more detailed answer:

There are no “leaders” here;

there is no organizational structure, really;

most of us haven’t met each other outside this forum;

we aren’t encouraging anyone to substitute participation here for participation at church;

we don’t have “StayLDS meetings” of any kind;

we aren’t collecting a “following” in any way;

some of us are as active as it gets; I am an Institute Teacher who was released from the High Council when I was called (I actually got to stand at the pulpit and release myself, then call myself – which was really weird.);

we aren’t “recruiting” people to leave the mainstream LDS Church;

in fact, our mission is explicitly to help people find a way to “StayLDS” – within their own congregations.

I would tell them all of that – and ask them to come and read for themselves. I don’t mean this sarcastically, but anyone who reads here and thinks this is a splinter group probably has their mind made up before they visit and aren’t reaching a conclusion based on what they read. I can understand how some people might question what we do here, since I know some people just don’t understand those who struggle or feel “out of the mainstream” – but I have a really hard time with the idea that some people could read this forum and think we are a splinter group. It just couldn’t be further from the truth.

We absolutely aren’t a splinter group. There isn’t any doubt whatsoever about that. There’s no way I’d be involved with a splinter group – and if this site ever became that, I’d be gone. As long as the current admin team remains involved here, that won’t happen. I guarantee that.

…

some of us are as active as it gets; I am an Institute Teacher who was released from the High Council when I was called (I actually got to stand at the pulpit and release myself, then call myself – which was really weird.);

we aren’t “recruiting” people to leave the mainstream LDS Church;

in fact, our mission is explicitly to help people find a way to “StayLDS” – within their own congregations.

+1

I think terminology may be at play here. I’m new, and learning quickly that the phrase “New Order Mormon” is problematic. I’ve lived in Pennsylvania near Lancaster where “Old Order Amish” live, a sect or splinter group from Amish and Mennonites. Thus, the term “order” implies something separate from the mainstream, and clearly can lead to the wrong impression of being a ‘new order’ of mormonism. Hence, if I need to identify with a label, I go with “Liahona Latter Day Saint” rather than NOM.

In my impression, being new, this is a support group for those who are a bit disaffected about the church for whatever reasons, while wanting to remain active for any number of personal reasons. Given the depth of difficulties in trying to talk about such a topic with ecclesiastical authorities who may interpret our doubts as ‘apostasy’, it’s really great to have a safe, moderated place to identify ways to remain faithful amidst the concerns or disaffection.

The moderation here within the scope of the mission keeps the site from some the aggravating negativism toward the church and gospel that characterizes many of the ex-mormon sites. I am not afraid of opinion critical of the LDS church, and often feel critical myself; but I don’t want to bathe in it day after day, frankly.

just my take on it…for what it’s worth.

And if you are a mormon that has decided to staylds even though you don’t believe all the truth claims has this site helped you?

Yes. Absolutely.

+1

As to the label ‘splinter group’, I’m not sure why we need to get all excited about it. It’s just a label, after all. And while this site may not fit the definition I have in my head, I kind of think it would be cool to belong to a splinter group, so count me in.

…they asked us not to say anything about the church or more on why we left because they are afraid that if we did that they would also leave the church but they don’t want to. (Yes, they actually said that). I think they are just scared but I will respect them. I was thinking that for them this site might be a good resource so I mentioned this website and they said “it sounds like a splinter group”…What is your response to “it sounds like a splinter group”? And if you are a mormon that has decided to staylds even though you don’t believe all the truth claims has this site helped you?

I don’t believe StayLDS is really an organized sub-group at all, basically I see this site as a place where people can express their honest questions, concerns, or doubts about the LDS Church that maybe they don’t feel comfortable talking about with other Church members because they worry (for good reason) that it probably wouldn’t go over very well. When I really started to doubt the Church, at first I tried looking for answers and support on apologetic sites and that didn’t really help me feel any better about the Church at all; it mostly sounded like more of the same ideas I already got from my bishop like I need to stop worrying about these questions and just have more faith, pray, read the scriptures, etc. which I felt like I was already trying to do but it seemed like the harder I tried to salvage my failing testimony the recommended way the more it actually led me away from the conclusions I was expected to get by the Church. Even though this site didn’t really motivate me to stay actively involved with the Church at least it helped me feel better about this decision and it helped me sort out what the Church means to me at this point so that I don’t have any regrets. Overall, I think the site helped me avoid overreacting in an emotional way by burning bridges and making a big stink about the Church being wrong in my opinion when dealing with people that don’t necessarily want to hear it.

StayLDS a splinter group? That just seems silly to me. We are as geographically far flung as they come, and we are helping people find ways to stay active and find a spiritual path within the church, even if they have had difficulties (of any sort). Au contraire. I do think our target audience is typically those who want a more positive alternative to sites like NOM (which are a positive alternative to sites like RFM?), a safe place to discuss their issues or ask questions. In fact, many have shipwrecked here from those other sites.

I also agree with Brian that your friends are probably not the target audience given their statements. I’m not sure they ain’t broke, but they aren’t ready to deal with whatever they are concerned about either.

There are thousands of support groups popping up on the web, like abuse victims, divorcees, or cancer sufferers.

This site is no different than other support groups where people are just trying to help people with real issues.

It is no movement or splinter group. Just people trying to be good people, and allowing open discussion.

No more, no less.

Thanks for sharing, SD.

All things in moderation…including blogging.