wonderingcurrent

The emotional thing is probably true plus wedding stress and perhaps some pre-wedding sexual line crossing – just a guess.

She’s back…and as high strung as ever. 😯 Clearly we need to keep an eye on her…I think there are some mental issues, and we need to be careful with not letting her go off all the time. Seriously, she just needs some medication to calm down.

Ya, I’m debating to reply to the thread or let it go.

I was one of the first to tell her not to tell others what to write, because one of her rants said something to the effect of “don’t tell me to let it go” – which I reminded her she can share her feelings, but should listen to how others respond, not tell us what to say.

Her issues are not doctrinal crisis of faith. They are emotional problems. These are familiar tones my wife uses with me, and sounds very bi-polar, with defensiveness and inability to rationally carry on a conversation with. it will just be a fight no matter how we respond because she doesn’t have the ability to process what others say without internal issues overpowering the message.

I don’t think we can do anything to get through to her. She just wants to yell, not ask questions. But with the glove thrown down, we cannot allow these rants to continue since they don’t help her and they don’t add content to the site or benefit others.

Can we move to ban her?

*sigh*

Her last string of comments has my head spinning. Saying it’s not about her and that we never just share experiences about what we do to deal with things?!?! WTH is the mild version of what I wanted to say. Add some passive-aggressive tendencies . . .

I’m going to share her PM’s with all of you, so you know how she reacted initially and after I sent her my response via PM. She is a deeply troubled lady. I think it sheds a lot of light on her and her situation – and I’m going to bold a few things:

1) I would have liked that you had sent me that in private. I would have liked that.

It doesn’t make me particularly welcomed, when this is the third or fourth message on the board that is telling me to just “Let go” and “Take a break.”

I don’t want to let anything go. I just wanted to explain what was deeply in my heart, but it seems like I can never do that. It always seems like every time I try online, or offline its “damned if I do, damned if I don’t”.

I have to think about my membership on this board. I got some good things out of it, should I just leave? I probably well if we can’t get this straightened out. If we can agree to stop telling other people what they should or should not do with their lives, when all people are trying to do is to express what they are feeling.

It can’t possibly be healthy to keep something in. And seeing a therapist about my problems, will never work, if I can never explain the questions I have. And I can never explain them, because no one will ever understand. And so I turned to these boards as my therapy. I didn’t ask anybody here though to be my therapist.

2) Oh and I wrote a post about all these comments from people telling me to let go, take a breath, relax, go see a therapist.

These comments where public. That message will be private. But just so you know. I wrote the private message first. And if you do not believe me. Well then there is nothing I can do.

Really think you are a reasonable man. I really think we can solve this issue, between every one who has been telling me to take a break. The breaking point, was you trying to be my therapist, by saying “Oh she must be OCD”. And then writing it in public.

You do not know that I have close family members with mental disabilities (well and now you do), and I have this damn great fear that others see me as that. Just somebody with some mental issues, just some damn hormonal woman with mental issues. In fact I have been told this time and time and time before. So when I get this message from you, pronto, fear realized. I can’t control your actions, or words. But I have every damn right to protect myself.

*sigh* The only thing at this moment that I’m willing to let go. Is this forum. But I want to give a reasonable amount of time for responses, and apologies (if people choose to apologize, they may just get all offensive).

You know I always saw the silver lining in everything. Always. Now its harder to see. I am in the wilderness of my faith, and am trying to find an oasis to drink water from. I feel like Hagar, thrown out, and wondering what will become of me (though I am childless, and don’t have a son, her story just seems to resonate with me). I am waiting for God to find me, and give me his promises, directly to me. Not through some mediated person. But to me. Directly.

How is that for pouring out Things of my soul. Maybe you know me just a little bit better now. So I will give you adequate time to respond. I expect an apology publicly. That is what I expect, because that is where you said that. Whatever else you say or do, that is fine. But I was deeply hurt today. Deeply in a place I had chosen for a sanctuary.

But I guess I have learned. Our sanctuaries soon become the places where we are tested the most.

3) Okay. It will take me a while to accept your apology. And the thinking of leaving this forum is largely due to the fact that this isn’t the first time I have gotten told to let go of something, or take a break. And those comments are draining on me, because I rarely see anybody else in this forum get those comments (but hey, I rarely read anybody else’s posts, usually I read mine because I am interested in what people have to say).

I personally don’t feel that should ever be told to any one. I was just expecting to have a really good day, try to get things done around the house. I am jobless, and frustrated, and I wanted to let off some steam in a topic that had something to do with Heavenly Mother but more about a thought I had, that I totally completely forgot, when I saw that comment.

Thank you for the apology. I will have to take some time to accept it.

wow… 😯

Being a safe place to blow off steam is not one of the missions of StayLDS. I don’t really care much for her pity party. Actually, I am kind of sick in general of that attitude on forums and blogs that allow anonymous posting. If she has THAT much of a beef with life and the Church, she really needs to be blowing off steam with her new husband and her extended family and friends. I’m guessing she may have burned those bridges already though.

She is working herself into fits. We tell her that is how it seems. She says “don’t tell me that!” and goes off into fits. Well???? Sort of proves the point IMO.

If we can’t help her, then we can’t help her. We are not all things to all people. We are successful because we know our mission and we stick to it.

Having dealt with drama in online communities for so many years, there is one thing I have seen over and over. It is a mistake to cater to the drama llamas. They drive away other good people who don’t want the drama, and then they leave when people stop putting up with them. It’s lose-lose to try and please them.

anyone want to do anything? or do we just let it be and it will take care of itself?

Frankly, I’m bored with her venting about venting.

She sent me a PM asking me to close all the older threads she had started. I went to the posts to do that and saw all her comments about locking them. I locked some of them, but I kept others open that weren’t basically just rants and that I thought might be referenced later, like “afterall” mentioned in one of them.

She then sent me another PM asking that I close them all. It did include an apology for over-reacting, but it also put all the blame for it on her ADD. She also said that multiple people IRL have told her she should seek professional help but that she doesn’t want to feel or seem mentally ill. She said she’s learning to deal with her ADD and will be able to conquer it eventually without professional help. I’m worried about her, but I can’t say that to her, obviously. She has WAY more issues than just ADD, but that’s her scapegoat.

I’m going to step out of this for a bit to see what all of you suggest. She’s driving me nuts, and I need to step back a bit – but I wanted to let you know why I locked some and not others then turned around and locked them all.

(I also sent “afterall” a PM explaining only that Sarah had asked me privately to lock all the threads, including the one on which “afterall” commented.)