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First off I am a single mom, whose kids are grown. Second off..what is with the single men in the LDS church over 40?????? I went on a date Saturday with a man, who is supposedly a TBM Peter Priesthood, been a bishop twice, and has been in the Stake Presidency. He is a widower, his wife passed away last year. I figured…oh ok this man should be pretty safe, I even felt kind of overwhelmed and under spiritual.
Anyway during this date we talked, or discussed doctrinal issues, a lot. Anyway at some point in the conversation he brought up he felt that Alma was teaching him, as in visiting him. Said that he felt he had been a certain angel in the pre-existence and that he had been revealed his true purpose in this life. And that he was going to be translated in June.
At which point I was thinking…well I was thinking how do I get out of this situation as quickly as possible (and the words were not nice words going through my mind)
Now this is the second man I have dated in the last 3 months that seems to be a TBM Peter Priesthood holder, who has had this type of thinking. The first one actually believed he would hang on a cross like Christ to save his family.
I walked away from the first one and haven’t had any contact with him since. This second one has me worried and my gut feeling is to contact his Priesthood leaders and let them know…but I am not sure.
And my other point is this…the non-member men I date DO NOT think this way at all. There is no sense of this way of thinking and for the record it’s a whole lot more comfortable for me to be around because to me it’s normal and healthy.
Why do some TBM members think the way these two men do???? I am beginning to think if I have to be saddled with this type of thinking for eternity
:crazy: that I am going to shoot for outer darkness because it seems a more sane option.:wtf: Let’s hope it’s just that your sample size is too small. But I know the type you’re talking about. Let’s face it, there are “interesting” people in every walk of life. Though it’s probably unfair to say so, I think they are more highly concentrated in religious circles, but probably not in any particular religion.
Some guys, if given enough time to sit and think by themselves, can start to believe some really fascinating ideas. Even things like…”polygamy…ya, that makes sense. I’m sure the women will realize how this all fits into our eternal families…I’m sure things like sex with other partners within polygamous bonds of marriage will not be a big deal, because in the eternities these mortal impulses will be put in perspective.” Speaking as a man…I’ve had some crazy ideas (not polygamy
:wtf: – but stuff about how to discipline or teach my kids) that need a woman’s perspective to help me see how unrealistic my ideas are sometimes!Dating after 40 must be a real adventure. I wonder if you played along…how much interesting stuff you could get out of some dates.
“So…Alma is teaching you? Interesting. What does he think about the Book of Mormon geography theories?”
:think: Hawkgrrrl is the master at fun comebacks to keep you sane. PM her, I bet she has some great ideas for you!
But joking aside, I think all you can do is keep your wits about you, and have faith that it can be worth the trouble to find a good partner, even if it takes a while sifting through the riff raff.
I’m glad they came out with this stuff — at least you have an idea of how they think. I remember when I was a missionary, all the talk about sacrifice, faith, miracles, how mental exertion can move the physical world and its events — I once showed up at the Chapel on Sunday evening on the last day of the month to show faith God would send me an investigator to baptize so I could achieve our monthly baptismal goal, and bring another soul unto Christ. I went htere to show I believed God would inspire someone to show up at the Chapel, meet me there and get baptized on the spot. Looking back on it, it was the extremism we see in the sensational scripture stories, the story of Abraham and Isaac, and other faith-promoting talks that I think breed these kinds of strange ideas you see in these men.
I look back on those thoughts of mine as a missionary as extreme and misguided.
It’s a bi-product of supernatural religion in some people — especially those who are committed. There are Christians who nail themselves to a cross once a year, that I’ve read about — so I don’t think it’s unique to MOrmonism.
I agree that I have more fun with non-members even in non-alcohol social contexts. They tend to be far less uptight about things in general. Lots of good reasonable Mormon’s too…but I empathize with you.
Life is interesting, ain’t it? :crazy: Sorry, I’m laughing too hard at those two guys to say anything else right now.
Arwen wrote:Anyway during this date we talked, or discussed doctrinal issues, a lot.
Anyway at some point in the conversation he brought up he felt that Alma was teaching him, as in visiting him.Said that he felt he had been a certain angel in the pre-existence and that he had been revealed his true purpose in this life. And that he was going to be translated in June. Oh my…could this possible be Self Proclaimed Greatness from NOM?
🙂 Actually, I think it is Moroni that visits him?????
Old-Timer wrote:Life is interesting, ain’t it?
:crazy: Sorry, I’m laughing too hard at those two guys to say anything else right now.
I am telling ya…
:crazy: 🙄 My Bishop wonders why I date non-members…. at this point I am um…really??? Not once have I ever had this type of conversation with any non-members dating or otherwise.
The sad part of this is I have single friends in Utah, Idaho and Arizona that are running into the same thing. One friend had a date tell her she was the one, asked her to marry him (in the temple) and this was all on the first date. My friend in Idaho had a date with a TBM man who had a fetish for garments…And the one in Arizona had a gentleman chase her for months until she finally said yes…they were married in the Mesa Temple…then he disappeared. She got the legal side of the marriage annulled after she found him living in a different house in the Phoenix area. And the number of polygamous men that have hit on all of us is staggering.
Oh and I have another friend who was dating a guy who is active in my ward, very much active in things. However she couldn’t commit to him. And four months into the relationship he let her know he had been arrested and was on probation for beating up his sixteen year old son. She asked if had been in parenting classes and he said no, his son had moved back with his mother so it wasn’t an issue. I think a lot of older singles are damaged goods, sadly, as there is so much pressure to get married young. Please do not think this is a personal comment. I’m an SA, but I definitely feel this way. I’m eccentric myself perhaps, and I do find that a barrier. I’d like to find myself a lovely intelligent Bohemian Mormon woman. Do they exist? I don’t have issues quite like the ones you describe, but I’d like someone who did understand my own “kookiness”, and that it is not all dangerous!
Perhaps we should start a staylds dating service. SamBee wrote:I think a lot of older singles are damaged goods, sadly, as there is so much pressure to get married young. Please do not think this is a personal comment. I’m an SA, but I definitely feel this way.
I’m eccentric myself perhaps, and I do find that a barrier. I’d like to find myself a lovely intelligent Bohemian Mormon woman. Do they exist? I don’t have issues quite like the ones you describe, but I’d like someone who did understand my own “kookiness”, and that it is not all dangerous!
Do you believe that Alma is visiting you? do you believe you are an angle? or and angel for that matter? Are you Sparticus? If you answer any of these questions yes…then nevermind.
Do you like dogs??? if you answer that question yes… I’m single too, and a bit goofy myself.
FWIW, I know a couple traditional LDS women who dated and married again later in life. They seem to be happy, and seem to have found decent enough guys. I’ve heard the stories like yours too. Hang in there. There might be more effort needed to sift through, but there are still nice guys out there. cwald wrote:Arwen wrote:Anyway during this date we talked, or discussed doctrinal issues, a lot.
Anyway at some point in the conversation he brought up he felt that Alma was teaching him, as in visiting him.Said that he felt he had been a certain angel in the pre-existence and that he had been revealed his true purpose in this life. And that he was going to be translated in June. Oh my…could this possible be Self Proclaimed Greatness from NOM?
🙂 Actually, I think it is Moroni that visits him?????
I was laughing until you mentioned SPG.Come on! He’s never claimed anything crazy like this!
SPG’s posts really helped me when I needed it!
He’s not perfect & doesn’t claim to be (You know he has Aspberger’s & has had a hellish upbringing?)…
He is extremely bright not just intellectually, but also spiritually & has helped me understand spiritual concepts in a more practical way.
Sometimes I think people don’t get it, maybe partly because he argues for the middle way..
And posts on NOM are too often NOT the middle way, despite the founder’s goal.
Featherina wrote:And posts on NOM are too often NOT the middle way, despite the founder’s goal.
yet a recent vote on nom shows that a narrow majority are ‘in’ and not yet ‘out’, with about 1/3 of the ‘in’s preferring to be ‘out’. So…it depends. I think NOM allows me at times to express my stage 4 regressions with a bit more freedom.cwald wrote:Featherina wrote:
Actually, I think it is Moroni that visits him?????Quote:I was laughing until you mentioned SPG.
Come on! He’s never claimed anything crazy like this!SPG’s posts really helped me when I needed it!
He’s not perfect & doesn’t claim to be (You know he has Aspberger’s & has had a hellish upbringing?)…
He is extremely bright not just intellectually, but also spiritually & has helped me understand spiritual concepts in a more practical way.
Sometimes I think people don’t get it, maybe partly because he argues for the middle way..
And posts on NOM are too often NOT the middle way, despite the founder’s goal.
Well, actually, he has. He has multiple threads about his visits with Moroni.
But, I get your point, and yes, I probably should not be joking about the guy. AND, in case you haven’t been following NOM, I’m one of the few guys who actually defends SPG and tries to get folks to back off and give him a break — I mean, I got into pretty good with Hoover over his thrashing of SPG. I actually get along with Hoover nowadays – well, before he got banned…
As far as NOM often not being the middle way…yeah, I agree. It’s been ugly over there for a couple of months now. There have been many many pro atheist threads, and only recently have folks started to call for more moderate tone. Yep, I get what you are saying.
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