On the Road to Perdition…(?)

Thank her seriously and sincerely for her love and concern, and let her know how much you appreciate everything she has done for and given you. Tell her you will be grateful eternally for that and will never turn away from what you believe to be true.

Leave it at that, without further explanation.

Also, make sure to talk with her and others “in real life” and not spend so much time online that you distance yourself from her and others in a damaging way. It’s a fine line – a difficult balance, but it’s important to try.

On a theological note, I believe “sons of perdition” are those who deny God having seen Him and actually fight against Him – and that the designation has nothing whatsoever to do specifically with Mormonism or Mormon doctrine. I believe a Buddhist can be a Son of Perdition, as well as anyone else who “knows” anything else. In your case, you can’t be a Son of Perdition in a confused state where you are trying to figure out what you believe – even if that is because you no longer know what you used to know. I see no evidence at all that you are denying God having experienced Him so clearly that it’s like looking Him in the eye and swinging your fists.

Candlelight25 I want you to know that you are exactly what your mother said about knowing from the beginning you were going to be a very important person to them in this world and imho she truely felt this beyond any other sibling (assuming you have some) because what you are about to embark on is going to teach your family through this process, if carried out with the spirit, to be closer to Christ than they ever have been or could be in the future otherwise. It is a very abstract thought, but for the very orthodox whom are wonderful in the areas of pray, pay, and obay ( often linear left brain thinkers) in my experience it is within these strengths they lack an even more fundamental component than any of the aforementioned to enter the kingdom of god.- True Charity and Love for fellow man no matter their misgivings or precieved earthly imperfections of that individual. Here is the abstract part… They think they are going to be the spiritual highground for youv through this….and in some regards they will be your lighthouse if or when you feel some rebellion from your creater during this process. Nevertheless, what i have come to see time and time again in these situations is that this trial has come to you because are called of God in this mortal state to soften their hearts in the ways i mentioned above which will be crusial to their salvation. If you go through this always keeping in mind that you have a devine mission and are a tool for the Lord now more than ever you will beable to soften hearts and change peoples lives- eternal lives In many respects by breaking their narrow schemas of Christianity and showing them you are walking with the lord no matter how they precieve this. There is a prominent BYU professor (up until just recently ago departed) that was openly gay in his description of himself but was/is of course celibate…. He has some incredible thoughts, several npr interviews and writings and even an independent movie comming up about his trial and growth through his journey. His light could be beneficial for you to review to gain empathy from a kindred spirit in kind. His name has escaped me but should be easy google. I hope some of these words help lighten your load today after the heavy thoughts of a grieving, confused and ready to grow mother.

Canlelight – I concur with the comments previously made regarding perdition. It takes a lot more knowledge and understanding, I imagine, to actually achieve perdition. As a mom may I share a couple of things. This week she has had a life tsunami hit her. For 19 years she has imagined many things. Right now those dreams have been misplaced. That is not to place blame on you, it’s to let you know that she needs time. You have spent some time moving toward your present life, you’ve been researching topics, comtemplating possibilities and reformulating previous ideas. You’ve done it more gradually than she has.

All of us have areas and times of deep disappointment and panic. She may not know it now but her disappointment has less to do with you than with the dreams she once held. For everyone of us when we are scared our reactions and responses are not are best. We say things we don’t mean, we do things that cause more pain, and more than anything we want the panic and fear to go away. No matter what is causing it. Give her time. In your previous thread you said you felt closer to Heavenly Father, use that gift for she and you. You can pray for her heart, her fears, her hopes, and the healing of the gulf between you. After you pray look for ways to keep your connection with her strong. Are there things you two used to do together, are there things she does that you could work side by side on, like cooking, gardening, car washing. You were her son before you knew what your gender feelings were. Right now the gift you can give her is that son. Don’t lie or fake things. Keep praying for help, use the resources from Ty and the Matis family. The Matis’s were tight knit, devout members, Ty’s found his own answers and so have others.

Don’t be afraid of her, the tsumani will receed and when it does you will find new roads and new love.

I would echo Ray’s advice.

My heart goes out to your mother as well as you. I know from close experience how difficult it can be to have your illusions come tumbling down around you. In the end if we want to have a measure of peace in our lives, we have to accept that what works for us may not work for someone else — even those very close to us. I think that the best way to help your mother see this is to continue to reflect the love that she shows you while following your heart wherever it leads you.