can i just say this ? – i am so grateful for this site

I like it too. It’s had a number of effects.

1) I learned to think for myself on religious matters and I’m much happier

2) It stopped me from going ape on the things I don’t agree with in meetings

3) helped me feel at peace with others who believe differently than I do

4) helped me figure out my own position on some of the doctrinal/policy matters that were causing me pain and

5) exposed me to useful information about our history and the behind-the-scenes things our general membership doesn’t normally know about

6) gave me some decent coaching on a few matters that came up after my own dissafection — not really coaching, but, consulting where I got some opinions from people who understand both sides of the issue — the traditional Church perspective, and the individual perspective — without any judgmentalism like you get at the Ward level

Plus I made a few good friends. We will likely never meet, but it’s a good internet friendship, which provides a degree of sociality I can’t get in my local Ward.

Just so all of you know (at least those who read this 😆 ), we have multiple hundreds of individual, distinct visitors / readers / lurkers every day, even though the active commenters at any given time is fairly low. Yeah, the conversations don’t flow fast and furiously here (most of the time), but we are more interested in quality than quantity, given our core mission.

Some of you know about my Bloggernacle participation over the last 5 years. I was out of work for a short time and then working nights in a field that allowed me to spend time online while working (legitimately 🙂 ) when I first got involved. For that reason, I commented a bit here and there. (That’s an intentional understatement. In 1998, I think it was, I was the most prolific commenter in the entire Bloggernacle – commenting on numerous sites.) I was a frequent commenter on most of the large, group sites; I guest posted for a couple of weeks on Times & Seaons; I was a regular contributor on Mormon Matters for a couple of years; I write daily posts (or provide links to other thought-provoking posts) on my personal blog; I participated for a very short time on another one of John’s start-up sites (until I realized it was turning into almost nothing but a vent / gripe / complain site); etc. I probably still am one of the most active bloggers in the Mormon-themed blogging world, when you include my participation here – but it’s down significantly from where it was at the peak a few years ago, since I now work more traditional hours that limit my available time. (Living alone right now while my family finishes school nearly 2,000 miles away and not having a calling at the moment gives me more time than I will have in a few months.)

I was asked to be an admin here early in the process, mostly because I believe passionately that Mormonism has lots of room to serve people who often aren’t served IRL in conventional groups. I am here because I want to be here – both to learn from and to help teach others – and to do so in a supportive, generally non-judgmental, faith-focused (as opposed to traditionally “faithful” – meaning apologetic and dismissive of disagreement), open, honest way.

Thanks for this topic BeLikeChrist! It gave me a chance to reflect – and gives me a chance to say thanks.

I feel like this site was created for me. It came at a perfect time for me when I was starting to gain a hope that I actually COULD make staying in the church work. I desperately wanted to explore more ideas around the HOW. Brian reached out to me where I was hanging out as the lone goat among sheep (thanks Brian!! ) shortly before this site was launched.

I’m sure I have benefited as much as I could ever give, there is no question that this site and the wonderful people here have contributed to my spiritual growth and my getting back into church.

Thanks All! :thumbup:

This site is as much “therapy” for me as it is for everyone else. I am thankful to be a part of the community here, and continue to be blessed by associating with you all online. The conversations here are slower than other sites, but the quality and depth is amazing. To me, the most important aspect is pushing to reinterpret our Mormon life experience after a faith transition in a holistic and positive way — to construct our new story and move forward to new and deeper experiences. Whatever that is for people that works, it’s good and healthy IMO.

With my own personal/family dynamic and life experience, I am on the much less orthodox and literal side. But on the other hand, I choose not to exclude the richness of spiritual and religious life from my journey. They are still very important to me. I would not feel complete, or that I got the full tour of mortality without it. Mormonism has too much to offer to rip it out of my soul just to avoid the problems. I choose to integrate it into my continuing story instead.

Just so you all know, we have a huge number of people who just visit to follow the conversations without jumping in. We consistently have 20,000+ visits a month (700 per day on average). We also get almost weekly “thank you” letters from people via email to the admin address saying how much the site and conversations have helped them sort things out in a peaceful and satisfactory way (even though they never participated in the forums). [edit: forgot my final point of all that — it’s your stories and participation here that help all those people. Thanks for being such good examples and taking the time to share your journey with so many.]

I don’t post much here anymore. But, for two years, this site was absolutely great therapy for me, and a good place for me to explore my faith.

I liked the site, because I was angry, knew I was angry, and this site allowed me to vent and talk openingly, but also required me to think critically of my opinion and emotional level, to ensure that I was being reasonable and fair to the church and the church leaders. I mean, I am skeptical. I’ve said some stuff here about the church that many members would be furious about. Perhaps even consider apostate level opinions. But I think I am fair, and level headed, and when I did post here, I’m was not just out to destroy or damage the church or other people’s faith. I was just exploring my own faith, and trying to navigate a middle way the best I could.

I also think this website and the folks who post here, really prepared me and jwald for an absolute horror church experience last Spring involving family members, church leaders, and even our own kids. We came out of it okay – better than ever actually. Had it not been for my participation at StayLDS —- the bitterness and anger would have destroyed us. In hindsight – my family did us a wonderful favor —- it allowed us (allowed us to give ourselves permission) to move on and find peace.

My route to this site was a little more circuitous.

I post regularly on a traditional apologetic site and struggle with the black and white literalism that I often encounter there. After someone posted about staylds and John Dehlin on that site, I immediately felt an appreciation for his efforts to help foster greater understanding between those who are devout, those who struggle, and those who’ve left.

I’m an orthodox heretic who refuses to leave the church because I love the gospel.

Staylds has provided a supportive community where grace and mercy are prevalent attributes and compassion governs conversation. I come here when I want to remember what the gospel is all about.

(PS I love you guys.)