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Hello, everybody. I’ll try to be brief.I’ve been going through a major faith transition over the last six months. I would have to say that I’ve only been to church 1/2 to 1/3 of the time during this last stretch. On Sundays, I’ve been sleeping, and doing a lot of research into the church and my situation (gay, intellectual, single, etc.) I have read and heard a lot of things online that I never would have dreamed of reading or listening to two years ago, and although I disagree with a lot of the ideas expressed, I have found it very useful to examine the experiences of others with the church. So, I went to church a couple of months ago, and ran into my elders quorum president. He asked if we could talk, and talking to him was something that I wanted to do. We sat down in one of those unused rooms during Sunday school and I expressed to him how uncomfortable I feel in the quorum, and how uncomfortable I am with some of the teaching there. I have a vision of a more inclusive, brotherly quorum that is very exciting to me, and the current quorum is pretty disappointing to me. He asked me to become his second counselor.
I will be going to my first Ward Council tomorrow. I’m not excited exactly sure what to expect.I’m happy to help my elders quorum president and my Bishop, but I’m not sure how well my new way of thinking is going to mesh with the Council.I should probably just keep a low profile, huh? One of the major reasons why I decided to stick with the church is that I feel like I need a community and I need people to serve. So maybe I should just shelve some of my recent ideas and just look for ways to serve in this setting. What do you think? It will probably be helpful for me to become more aware of the needs and struggles of other people in the ward, you know, to become a little less self absorbed. Again, I just don’t know what to expect.
First, congratulations (and condolances). 
Second, absolutely do NOT share your struggles and issues with the Council as a whole – but don’t be afraid to gently and humbly focus on being a voice for the overlooked and misunderstood in the ward. If an activity is being planned and nobody has talked about the singles – or the widows and widowers – or the families with chlidren of multiple ages – etc., speak up for them (even if it’s by doing nothing more than saying something like, “How is this going to affect the _____________? How can we make sure they don’t get left out or feel overlooked?”
Third, I agree completely that you should do this with a focus on service – and, in your particular situation, relaying things to your EQP more than trying to change things immediately.
One thing you can probably expect to see is how genuinely those leaders care about people. I always felt that when I went to those. They may not always execute right, and sometimes offend people as they try to do what was planned, but in those meetings there is often a display of sincerity and concern for ward members. I’m interested to hear how it goes. Let us know.
Be like Ghandi — although he was educated in Britain, a lawyer, and from an upper class at first, he integrated with the people he wanted to influence on their level (not they were lower than him, just that he related to them on their own terms). This gained him a certain amount of acceptance and influence for good. As I’ve been getting to know a new Ward now, that is my approach. Go in there positive and just like any other person, build relationships, and then, as Ray says, be Socratic on issues that show closed-mindedness, judgmentalism, bad culture etcetera, and support and reinforce the positive aspects of what they are doing.
ward council is about meeting the needs of the members, finding ways to serve them, and to align the program of the church to those needs. I believe that NOMs bring a unique perspective to this, by focusing on the true principles Christ taught, as you reflected to the EQP. He sensed your kind spirit, and hence, wanted you to be his counselor. Interesting, eh? As you sit in Ward Council, it’s not about you or your disaffection. They won’t get into doctrine here, for the most part. They’re about organizing the program. If you’re representing the EQ in this meeting, then the needs of the quorum members ought to be represented: Brother Jones needs help with X, Brother Johnson is looking for a job, etc. You and the EQP should know the needs of the members of the quorum that either are in need, or can help if someone elsewhere in the ward needs their skills.
Properly done, it’s a community (which is what the word “Ward” comes from) council, giving the leadership the opportunity to serve the ward. Forget yourself, your disaffection, and focus on serving, and you’ll be amazed at what you can do.
New guy here saying: I hope it went well. I’ve been in the SS pres of my ward and attended ward council for the past year or two. It is as others here wrote: the council is a time to think about meeting the needs of people in the ward. Based only on my experiences, I suggest that one of the most useful contributions one can make to a ward council is to help keep it focused. So, if the conversation strays into tangents or gossip or joking, look for quiet ways to bring it back around to the matter at hand. The tendency to gossip, chuckle or make a bit of a wisecrack (however discretely understated) when
thatperson or family comes up has certainly been tenacious in the WC I attend, so if you were to not let anyone know how you felt about certain doctrinal or cultural questions and instead resolve to be an example of keeping the focus, then you’d be a better man than I am, Gunga Din . . . or was it Gandhi? 🙂 Hm, I think someone who doesn’t fit the conventional “mold” can also offer a useful voice of compassion and understanding: “let’s consider or so-and-so might feel, being in such-and-such a situation” &c. But again, the challenge is to always keep it non-confrontational.
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