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Hello all, I’m a 37 year old temple-married father of 3 living in Utah. Bring on the stereotypes, most of them will be accurate. 
Grew up in the church, didn’t get my Eagle Scout though, because when I was a teenager my parents divorced and they stopped pushing me to be involved in merit badges and campouts. I stayed active, going to church with my dad as my siblings (3 of the 4) decided that church and standards weren’t for them anymore. Went on a mission at age 19.5 to Germany, which I loved. I thought I had all the answers. I thought that if you couldn’t reconcile a personally-held belief or world view with that espoused by the church then it was you that needed to change. I had a real problem with members of my in-laws that could reconcile their active-church-going, TR-holding lifestyles with personally opposing Prop 8 in CA. I thought “Well he’s a prophet or he isn’t, I don’t understand the issue here.” And this is when I had my “breakthrough.”
You see, I finally was able to realize that I didn’t have to justify anyone else’s belief about anything. Steve Young can oppose prop 8 all he wants and it doesn’t make him a bad person or a disbelieving member of the church. So can my brother-in-law. That was a major leap for me. If they could justify their opinions with the positions of the church on certain matters, then maybe I could too. And this has nothing to do with gay rights or anything of the sort, as far as I’m concerned. It’s the underlying principle, if you catch my drift.
My “crisis of faith” (which sounds much more dramatic than it’s been for me) has occurred much more recently. I was service as a secretary in the bishopric for the last few years. One of the “stalwarts” as far as anyone was concerned. Then I got a call to come and meet with the bishop. Being the guy that usually set up appointments for most of the callings to occur, I usually had notice in advance what was happening, but I didn’t this time. I thought for sure I was being called to SS pres, knowing that ours had just been called into a Stake calling. Nope, I was being called as a primary teacher. Oooooooooookay. Sure. To date, I haven’t said “no” to a calling, why start now?
Anyway, I was serving in both callings for a little while when in one bishopric meeting I kind of hit my breaking point. For those that have never had the pleasure of attending bishopric meetings, lets just say that a lot of the discussion and concerns that come up have less to do with “bringing souls unto Christ” than they do with “how can we keep this ward functioning without offending every member in it?” There’s “so and so isn’t happy with the way the primary is doing such and such,” and “so and so needs a new assistant but no one is willing to accept the calling” etc etc. Our ward is very young, leadership-wise, and there’s a lot of learning as you go. But I’d had enough. I wanted to focus on the big picture and not get all tied up in who was or wasn’t “magnifying their callings.”
Combine this with home and visiting teachers that are all about the numbers (in our stake, if you don’t get your HT done by the 20th, the PEC goes out and does it for you), and you have me saying “enough” to the “programs.” I still believe in the idea of the church. I believe in the authority. I believe in revelation and restoration. I believe in Jesus and in God. But I am coming to recognize the church, per se, for what it is — imperfect people trying to help other imperfect people to be a little more perfect. Bishops, bishoprics, stake presidents, even GAs (like my uncle the Apostle. Yes, one of the 12) are just people doing the best they can in their imperfect states. Ward parties, white shirts, ties, suits, “activity days” and scouts, even visiting teaching and HT — they’re all just programs. Helps, if you will. Means to an end. But not the end. Even three hours of meetings on Sunday — with the exception of maybe 10 minutes in the middle of the longest meeting — are non-essential. That said, I still go. I still have my kids go (or is it the other way around?). My wife still goes, though she’s feeling much the same way I am.
Anyway, long story there, but that’s where I am and kinda how I got here. And for the record, I don’t like teaching primary. But I can, so I do. 5 & 6 year-olds. Ugh.
baldzach, thank you for the Introduction. It sounds very common & normal for this site. The for me is:
Quote:I believe in Jesus and in God.
For me, everything else is secondary.
Mike from Milton.
Mike wrote:baldzach, thank you for the Introduction. It sounds very common & normal for this site.
The for me is:
Quote:I believe in Jesus and in God.
For me, everything else is secondary.
Mike from Milton.
Amen (and I love you for saying that Mike!)
And welcome aboard baldzach, you’re going to love it here.
mercyngrace wrote:
And welcome aboard baldzach, you’re going to love it here.I already do.
You do a good job of hitting on what I think are two of the biggest problems with the Mormon church (as an institution, not doctrinally). 1) The church takes so much from the faithful.
2) The local leaders are given “god-like” authority. You take a neighbor who may or may not be a jerk and they are now basically representing Christ. To say no to them or to criticize them is tantamount to criticizing Christ.
The other major problems IMO:
– The concept of worthiness to participate in things like the sacrament & temples
– The barrage of indoctrination that if you doubt your testimony it is because something is wrong with you. (Kind of the emperor’s new clothes thing.) – As an corollary the judgmental attitude that something is wrong with others if they have doubts.
Welcome! Hey, welcome to the community. Thanks for telling us a bit of your story. baldzach wrote:You see, I finally was able to realize that I didn’t have to justify anyone else’s belief about anything. Steve Young can oppose prop 8 all he wants and it doesn’t make him a bad person or a disbelieving member of the church. So can my brother-in-law. That was a major leap for me. If they could justify their opinions with the positions of the church on certain matters, then maybe I could too. And this has nothing to do with gay rights or anything of the sort, as far as I’m concerned. It’s the underlying principle, if you catch my drift.
Wow, great summation of that type of realization. It does really feel like a breakthrough kind of moment doesn’t it? Like a light bulb turning on. Yes. There can be GREAT diversity within a family of belief. In fact, it’s probably much much healthier when it’s like that.
I guess Ward Council might need to get added to the list of things, such as sausage, that you shouldn’t see being made.
😆 Welcome. You will find many here who can empathize and understand about the stuff you posted in your intro. So glad you are here Baldzach! Great intro. I find it interesting in my life to go through different phases, and see how the Lord knows what things I need to learn, and sometimes they come in unexpected ways.
Glad you’re here. I look forward to learning from your posts!
Nice to meet you, baldzach. Thanks for sharing. You say you served a mission in Germany. I have a few older friends that went there and really enjoyed, despite the slow-gowing amount of investigators/converts. Well it sounds like your heart is in the right place. In the end all that matters is the way you look up to Jesus Christ and God. baldzach wrote:You see, I finally was able to realize that I didn’t have to justify anyone else’s belief about anything. Steve Young can oppose prop 8 all he wants and it doesn’t make him a bad person or a disbelieving member of the church. So can my brother-in-law. That was a major leap for me. If they could justify their opinions with the positions of the church on certain matters, then maybe I could too. And this has nothing to do with gay rights or anything of the sort, as far as I’m concerned. It’s the underlying principle, if you catch my drift.
Thank you for sharing this! I have come to my own personal conclusion that, yes, I can disagree with the prophet on occasion. You know what? I can even disagree with God! To his face! Now, many members of the church would take an instance of me disagreeing with God to mean that I think I know more than he does, and therefore I must be guilty of the sin of pride or something for thinking I know more than God. But do you know what disagreeing with God means? It means you disagree with him. And why is there nothing wrong with that? (Or at least that there shouldn’t be anything wrong with it?) Because parents and children disagree all the time! You’re a father of three, I’m sure you’ve had instances where your children disagree with you, right? I’m even willing to bet that your uncle the apostle has had disagreements with his children, and he doesn’t hold that fact against them. They just disagree and move on, because that’s what good parents and children do!
baldzach wrote:Anyway, I was serving in both callings for a little while when in one bishopric meeting I kind of hit my breaking point. For those that have never had the pleasure of attending bishopric meetings, lets just say that a lot of the discussion and concerns that come up have less to do with “bringing souls unto Christ” than they do with “how can we keep this ward functioning without offending every member in it?” There’s “so and so isn’t happy with the way the primary is doing such and such,” and “so and so needs a new assistant but no one is willing to accept the calling” etc etc. Our ward is very young, leadership-wise, and there’s a lot of learning as you go. But I’d had enough. I wanted to focus on the big picture and not get all tied up in who was or wasn’t “magnifying their callings.”
I’ve been in ward council meetings (I don’t know if bishopric meetings specifically are worse, since I’ve never been in one of those) but I’ve been fortunate that our ward council didn’t go into nitpicking of which individual wasn’t happy with what thing that was going on in the ward. Even though, as Sunday School president, I did have plenty of times where a member of the ward would come up to me to complain about something that was going on in the ward and would fully expect me to relay their complaints to the ward council and the bishopric. I know we’re talking about differences of administration, but I’m at least glad our ward council was able to take a more macro view of the situation rather than micromanaging everything.
Who knows? Maybe this is preparing you for when you get called as a bishop so that you
won’tbe the bishop you had. 
TragedianActor wrote:
You’re a father of three, I’m sure you’ve had instances where your children disagree with you, right?Never! And when they do disagree with me, it’s cause they’re wrong.
😆 TragedianActor wrote:
Who knows? Maybe this is preparing you for when you get called as a bishop so that youwon’tbe the bishop you had. Bite your tongue!
Welcome, Baldzach. I can relate to a bit of what you wrote. To me, one of the beauties of the Church is the “different strokes for different folks” aspect. I have twice been a ward finance clerk, and I absolutely hated it, both times. On the other hand, I’ve been a primary teacher twice (team teaching with my DW) and absolutely loved it! There are others, though, who just seem a perfect fit as the finance clerk. God bless them for it … they can have it! Quote:And for the record, I don’t like teaching primary. But I can, so I do. 5 & 6 year-olds. Ugh.
I love teaching the primary kids – the younger, the better. Somehow I feel like they actually get what I’m teaching in a way that I never experienced teaching GD.
Enjoy, mate.
baldzach wrote:
My “crisis of faith” (which sounds much more dramatic than it’s been for me) has occurred much more recently. I was service as a secretary in the bishopric for the last few years. One of the “stalwarts” as far as anyone was concerned. Then I got a call to come and meet with the bishop. Being the guy that usually set up appointments for most of the callings to occur, I usually had notice in advance what was happening, but I didn’t this time. I thought for sure I was being called to SS pres, knowing that ours had just been called into a Stake calling. Nope, I was being called as a primary teacher. Oooooooooookay. Sure. To date, I haven’t said “no” to a calling, why start now?Anyway, I was serving in both callings for a little while when in one bishopric meeting I kind of hit my breaking point. For those that have never had the pleasure of attending bishopric meetings, lets just say that a lot of the discussion and concerns that come up have less to do with “bringing souls unto Christ” than they do with “how can we keep this ward functioning without offending every member in it?” There’s “so and so isn’t happy with the way the primary is doing such and such,” and “so and so needs a new assistant but no one is willing to accept the calling” etc etc. Our ward is very young, leadership-wise, and there’s a lot of learning as you go. But I’d had enough. I wanted to focus on the big picture and not get all tied up in who was or wasn’t “magnifying their callings.”
Combine this with home and visiting teachers that are all about the numbers (in our stake, if you don’t get your HT done by the 20th, the PEC goes out and does it for you), and you have me saying “enough” to the “programs.” I still believe in the idea of the church. I believe in the authority. I believe in revelation and restoration. I believe in Jesus and in God. But I am coming to recognize the church, per se, for what it is — imperfect people trying to help other imperfect people to be a little more perfect. Bishops, bishoprics, stake presidents, even GAs (like my uncle the Apostle. Yes, one of the 12) are just people doing the best they can in their imperfect states. Ward parties, white shirts, ties, suits, “activity days” and scouts, even visiting teaching and HT — they’re all just programs. Helps, if you will. Means to an end. But not the end. Even three hours of meetings on Sunday — with the exception of maybe 10 minutes in the middle of the longest meeting — are non-essential. That said, I still go. I still have my kids go (or is it the other way around?). My wife still goes, though she’s feeling much the same way I am.
Anyway, long story there, but that’s where I am and kinda how I got here. And for the record, I don’t like teaching primary. But I can, so I do. 5 & 6 year-olds. Ugh.
I feel like I need to update this.
Turns out, by the end of the year and the end of my time teaching those kids, I really came to love it, and those kids still high-five me in the halls (or more often, fist bump — same difference).
However, my “faith crisis” has taken a whole new turn. If I was in a somewhat precarious position before, the whole statement on race with the disavowal of previous statements as “opinion and speculation” has taken it to a whole new level. And President Uchtdorf’s talk last conference about how even “church leaders (assuming he means even GA’s) make mistakes because God has only ever had imperfect people to work with” (paraphrased) seems to clash mightily with OD1 where it says the Lord will not permit the leaders of the church to lead it astray. All of a sudden EVERYTHING is now open for question.
So it seems that now I’m going to have to take everything I’ve ever known and accepted as “Gospel truth” (*rimshot!) with a very large grain of salt, and it’s a very uncomfortable situation.
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