Inspiration

I’ve been on here for a few months and my of faith has come from garments and the temple. I am getting married and have been debating for the last several months whether I’m going to go through the temple or not. I have done so much research, prayed so many times to feel good about it, or to feel good about a decision one way or another. I tried to talk to my bishop about it…bad idea. I think he hates me anyway. We have a “personality conflict.” :crazy: I love my stake president, so I thought I would talk to him about it during our temple recommend interview. I was nervous because I know that if I told him about my doubts that he may not even let me go, regardless of my decision. Before I went inside I said a quick prayer that he would feel prompted to start a discussion with me about any concerns I might have if I should talk to him about it. Unfortunately, he accidentally double booked our meeting and I had a group of 6 people waiting for him in the hall. so I just answered quickly so he could get to his other people. At the end of our meeting he said, “well, I can tell you’re really excited to go to the temple!” And it made me sad, because the spirit did not prompt him accurately. I knew I was expecting too much, and that no one is inspired all the time, but with my dwindling faith it really was disheartening.

That was two weeks ago and this morning I got a text message from him asking me to call him. Then in the afternoon he called and left a voicemail telling me that I have been his mind lately and he can’t seem to shake the feeling that we should talk about some concerns I might have about the temple! He said that he knew we had already met a few times and been through everything, but he really just feels like we need to talk about any concerns and he didn’t know why but hoped I could meet with him. What a faith booster! I was so excited when I listened to the voicemail. That may be the thing that helps me go through the temple.

I also got a long email from my older sister yesterday. She knows nothing about my struggles, but decided to write me about her first time in the temple. She is a very black and white person, about as opposite of me as you can get. (She wears her garments to the gym) I had actually considered talking to her, but decided not to because she can be judgmental at times. Her email said that she had a bad experience her first time going through and that it was only through going again and again that she gained a testimony of the temple. I really felt like her email was inspired and so I called and told her all about my concerns. She is a person who I would have thought would tell me that I “wasn’t ready” to go through because I was having doubts, or that I couldn’t go through if I wasn’t willing to wear garments. Instead she told me that I should go through, she told me to just rely on the things I have faith in, focus on having the spirit and it will be ok.

I just wanted to share that story on here because I’m so excited about people’s inspiration to help me work out my concerns. It just makes me feel like Heavenly Father wants me to go through the temple, and he is sending people to help get me there.