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I have been paired with an old friend who is my ‘senior companion’ in home teaching now and for the past six months. This has strained our relationship, because he’s a lot more by-the-book true believing than I thought — he’s one of the three open democrats in our ward, so i thought that he would be ‘flexible’…but no. So for the past six months, he insists on giving the FP message in HT. Last night we went out and there was no FP message. He didn’t bring the Ensign, and he didn’t bring the message. I mentioned that for a change we ought to teach what Dieter Uchtdorf taught in the July Ensign, “Always in the MIddle”, especially as we were teaching two elderly sisters last night in their retirement homes. They’re both in their 90s.
He simply ignored me. After telling him that we ought to do that, we were visiting with our first sister, and he tried to close the discussion before I had a chance to discuss the talk. I persisted, and gave a short summary. he put up with it.
In the second visit, he controlled it entirely, and then closed it before I even had a chance to speak.
I just found this all so interesting.
What do TBMs think about Uchtdorf?
In my experience quoting Uchdorf in lessons, they treat him with the same supernatural reverence of any GA. As long as what I say is quoted from a GA, I’m safe, even if it’s a bit controversial or off the norm. Regarding your TBM companion — his behavior would irritate me, particularly his manner of ignoring you or cutting you off. It may be that other things you’ve said have caused a straight-arrow reaction toward you in general, so he sees your suggestions as radical and his judgmentalism is driving his interactions with you. I’ve experienced that a few times when I’ve shared unorthodox thoughts. Generally, people don’t say anything when I share my unorthodox thoughts, but then it shows in their behavior later on. Either they disagree with proposed actions of mine, or resort to passive aggressiveness. Sometimes they have been outright rude in calling me out (like when I wanted to look for a car on a Sunday when mine died and I had no practical way of getting to work the following Tuesday. I figured I needed a day to buy it and get it all arranged, and thought it prudent to pull the ox out of the mire).
Recently, I have a family undergoing some medical problems. The husband can’t come to church and appreciates the sacrament. He made a huge issue out of the fact that myself and my ad hoc companion didn’t kneel when administering the Sacrament in his home. Now, my ad hoc companion is 90 years old, and although I’m substantially younger than that, I have suffered from knee problems and find it painful, and sometimes, triggering of inflammation. I kneeled the first two times we did it, but have not kneeled lately. He really objected to that, and has stopped asking for the sacrament now. I suspect he’s objected to the priesthood leaders and they are sending someone else, but don’t know for sure.
He also objected when, after not being able to find a companion to administer the sacrament one day, suggested we come by on a Tuesday when myself and a companion were available. He objected to that since it was not Sunday.
Anyway, I find our religion can make sticklers of people on issues that really don’t have huge eternal impact. My solution is to gradually distance myself from such people if their behavior gets too annoying.
This guy is trying to find ways to disagree with issues he considers “Doctrine”. He want to find problems.
Maybe the Missionaries could give him the Sacrament?
Mike from Milton.
Uchtdorf is highly revered by TBMs. My guess is that it is your interpretation of Uctdorf that he has problems with 
Perhaps it’s uncharitable of me, but I’ve grown a little bit tired of always driving over to their home to give the sacrament and trying to find a companion who is available. On one hand, this seems to comfort this man who is not well, but on the other hand, I have trouble with repetitive actions that require me to do the same thing over and over again every single week. Particularly when his situation is chronic in the medium-term and he seems to object so much to the way we administer the sacrament. Personally, I don’t function well in situations where there are rote rules that must be followed and people eager to point out how you did it wrong — as in the temple. He didn’t ask last week, so my unorthodoxy and lack of kneeling may have solved the issue. If he keeps asking, I’ll probably keep doing it though, as in a world where there is much suffering about which the average person like myself can do nothing, this is one way to add positivity to the world and bring him comfort. That is what keeps me going back.
But this is about wayfarer’s post so I won’t distract everyone; mine only touches on WF’s post tangentially….
How do the men feel about him – or how do the women feel about him? 😆 😳 
Seriously, this isn’t about Pres. Uchtdorf; this is all about your HT companion.
Old-Timer wrote:How do the men feel about him – or how do the women feel about him?
😆 😳 Seriously, this isn’t about Pres. Uchtdorf; this is all about your HT companion.
agreed. I think that a lot of TBMs have a NOMdar, and when they sense that someone isn’t pure TBM, they sort of shut-down their trust level. What I find unfortunate is the years and years of relationship that don’t seem to matter: once you come out as being anything other than TBM, the friendship is over. This is something i really hate.wayfarer wrote:I think that a lot of TBMs have a NOMdar, and when they sense that someone isn’t pure TBM, they sort of shut-down their trust level. What I find unfortunate is the years and years of relationship that don’t seem to matter: once you come out as being anything other than TBM, the friendship is over. This is something i really hate.
It only exposes their lack of charity, and their need of the gospel.
In my ward we have a dedicated lesson on almost every one of Pres. Uchtdorf’s talks, including this last article.
I’m going to quote the best institute teacher I ever had here. The church isn’t a place for the well or perfect. It’s a hospital for the sick.” summarizing that the gospel or church is a place learn and grow and perfect, not for the already perfected(which doesn’t exist here). He was pointing out the charity that needed to happen within the church to others who were different or on different levels of faith or the journey. Forgotten_Charity wrote:I’m going to quote the best institute teacher I ever had here. The church isn’t a place for the well or perfect. It’s a hospital for the sick.” summarizing that the gospel or church is a place learn and grow and perfect, not for the already perfected(which doesn’t exist here). He was pointing out the charity that needed to happen within the church to others who were different or on different levels of faith or the journey.
True, provided the sick don’t offend the doctors….
It looks like “Always in the MIddle” really is the First Presidency Message. Forgotten_Charity wrote:I’m going to quote the best institute teacher I ever had here. The church isn’t a place for the well or perfect. It’s a hospital for the sick.” summarizing that the gospel or church is a place learn and grow and perfect, not for the already perfected(which doesn’t exist here). He was pointing out the charity that needed to happen within the church to others who were different or on different levels of faith or the journey.
sure…charity as in condescension toward those who don’t buy into the standard definitions as inferior to the true believers.Wayfarer, that is so beautifully sarcastic…I never saw it that way but now I do based on your perspective….there is a ring of judgmentalism to those who point to charity for people who are spiritually less fortunate. I’ve been through that personally and seen it done to others hundreds of times. I’m not a fan of labels or putting people in a box so we can feel comfortable with ourselves. People will always exist that feel the need to put up defense barriers to shun those not within there walls of belief to feel safe. In situations like this. If people feel the need to dominate I let them. So long as they don’t do anything to me. If they reach a point where they are ready to cooperate together and work as a team , I’ll be ready. In the mean time I just see a person to full of pride to cooperate and work as a team. I’ll say my peace in a peacefully way, when their ready to drop their defenses and work together I’ll be there. I hear you wayfarer and SD. In a ideal world. People wouldn’t condescend towards others. It exist though, and I realize I can’t fight it. Just try to live as an example. Inside a Japanese community my friend Hiroshima was in my first Japapese sentences had 2 distinct reactions. Some referred to it as not bad, others refered to it as speaking very well for a non Japanese person. I’m sure they meant well but it sounds condescending from the outside in even though I don’t think they meant it that way. I hope we can all just learn to support one another instead of analizing to death each other.
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