Finally signed up

Welcome, Brian. I hope participating here can help in some way.

Thanks everyone. I love the how to stay article as well. That has helped me a lot. I am bitter about the bom because I don’t think it really happened. I think there are good stories in there that teach good things but really what’s the difference between the bom and a

good Christian book? At least the bible is historical (if a bit exaggerated at times). I mean I am fairly certain that Moses existed. I can’t say the same for Moroni…. I think it wouldn’t bother me so much if it weren’t taught in the church as the most correct book. So I have a block up against it and it’s too bad because I have read it so many times. I still like certain verses but it’s not the same.

Welcome….so, I would gather that your bitterness stems from feeling people mislead you into believing things about the Book of Mormon that were not true? And this led you to expend a lot of effort into something that isn’t worthwhile or at least, providing value for the effort expended?

Assuming that’s the case, I would consider focusing on the motives of the people who taught you it was the most correct book. They probably believed it WAS that way, and taught you the same thinking they were doing the right thing. I know I did as a full time missionary. And you believed them also wanting to be good….realizing their motives, and what they thought they were doing might help turn the bitterness into something more positive.

I no longer take the BoM literally — I take it for its spiritual “pulse” value — the extent to which I feel at peace when I read it. In fact, there are other books that have the same effect that are not formal scripture which I also value. Perhaps try to look at it that way — on the basis of its own merits and ideas, and not as a book that is necessary something you must read because a small subset of people on this earth believe is the most correct book on earth…

I have also been reading a book called Healing Church Hurt. It’s by a non-LDS author, but he makes good points, and doesn’t hit on all the standard answers we hear at church all the time. He makes a point — the idea is to get past the hurt so we can keep moving forward in doing good. He doesn’t dwell on the standard “being bitter hurts no one but you…” line we hear all the time. He focuses on how hurt can prevent us from doing good.

It’s in the focusing on doing good that we sometimes find the strength to overcome the bitterness.

Hope to hear more from you….

Fwiw, there’s no proof whatsoever that Moses ever lived, particularly as described in the Bible. Not that it means anything, necessarily, but when you go back that far, everything is highly suspect. In fact, from a strictly historical perspective, void of religious faith, it’s a crap shoot whether or not even Jesus of Nazareth’s life was anything like it is described in the Bible.

Joseph Smith’s account of his persecution for telling about his First Vision is dismissed by many people simply because it’s not documented in any other accounts of that time and place – but neither are the accounts of the Gospels in the Bible. Things that happen to us personally tend to be / appear to be MUCH more significant than how they appear to others – often even close friends and family, much less those whom we really don’t know all that well.

Personally, I am open to the possibility that the Book of Mormon actually is what it says it is – but I also think Joseph didn’t understand very well at all what it actually says. I think the case for it based on what actually is in it is much stronger than the case for it based on what most members think is in it. When it comes right down to it, there isn’t conclusive proof either way – so I choose to believe / have faith in whatever I want. Makes life a lot easier and less full of bitterness. 🙂

If Brian harbors any anger, I’m guessing it’s not because he believes people set out to deliberately mislead him, but rather because they told him they “knew” when they were really just shooting from the hip.

I’ve never once been in a bishopric mtg, HC mtg, Ward Council, EQP mtg, etc., and heard anyone say “if we could just get Brother XXXXX to swallow this load of crap we’ll be set!” I think in general the membership and leaders in the Church are earnest in what they teach. Overly judgemental at times? Of course. But earnest.

I think that is true also. Well said Kumahito.

If Brian harbors any anger, I’m guessing it’s not because he believes people set out to deliberately mislead him, but rather because they told him they “knew” when they were really just shooting from the hip.

In either case, you reach a point in life where you realize you are going to have to deal with that, and choose how this impacts your faith and beliefs, as we all look through the glass darkly. I guess one point is, that despite what others do, you can find ways to StayLDS regardless of the intent of others.

Thank you all for the welcome and the comments.