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Hi All, I’ve been on this site for a minute and just wanted to update everyone on my situation before I head off to church. In short, my testimony is crumbling. I grew up in a Christian household, in the Bible belt, as a pentecostal. Over the last two weeks or so, I have been reading the Bible exclusively. I didn’t watch General Conference and am just now getting to the sessions a week later. I have been reading the Bible every day. I feel like I’m about to get saved in the “born again Christian sense”. I have only recently found out that my boss at work, and the owner of the pharmacy I work at are both born-again Bible believing Christians. I’ve taken to wanting to read through the Bible all the way through to figure out if God is who he says he is. I’ve never really felt the Bible contained translation errors, but I do feel like the LDS doctrine adds a lot of stuff that fills in the gaps so to speak from the Bible. I’ve started listening to contemporary Christian music, specifically the radio station K-Love around here, and I feel my heart changing. I am starting to question if the Church is everything it claims to be. This comes right as I’m trying to get to the temple and about to start my calling in the materials center. I feel like if I were to go into a temple recommend interview and try to answer the questions, I couldn’t answer them at all. One thing that really crushed my testimony for me is when Jesus speaks in the New Testement of no marriage in Heaven. When I read that verse, somewhere in the four Gospels, that about crushed everything. I kind of feel like, “Well, if the Bible says there is no marriage in Heaven, what else does it say?” I think because I’ve already set a goal to get my endowment, and I know me, and know that I’d be back on this track a year from now if I didn’t follow my commitment to get my endowment all the way through to the end, I’d be disappointed. I already have a big idea of what it will be like since I’m a Freemason anyway, but I want the experience. I also have a sort of pushy Mom when it comes to being a Christian in the born again sense. As soon as she found out I was reading the Bible and I told her I thought I might be about to get saved, she said I should go to a different church, which I won’t name here. I don’t know if any of you here know about the Biblical event called the Rapture, but it is something I totally believe in, and I feel like it’s close with the introduction of these RFID chips everywhere. Sorry for rambling everyone, I just wanted to get this out there before I head to church and didn’t have much time. If I read the Bible all the way through and the Church isn’t what it claims to be, I’m going to have to find another one. I like the Catholic church a lot because I like all the ritual and the fancy clothes. (What can I say, I’m a gay man lol and yes I said GAY not Same Sex Attracted, which is a yucky word to me.) I don’t know if there are any others who have family members out there who are “saved” in the sense that I’m talking about with born again Christians, but it sure would be nice to get some advice. Thanks again for listening guys.
kmullin211984 wrote:I don’t know if there are any others who have family members out there who are “saved” in the sense that I’m talking about with born again Christians, but it sure would be nice to get some advice.
I feel like I had the “born-again/saved” experience. After my daughter was stillborn I felt like such a failure. Through my soul-searching I found what I hold onto as a personal revelation, that God loves me – that He loves me independent of the circumstances of my life (chosen and otherwise) and independent of the relative “blessings” I may be feeling at any given moment. This was a BIG step but I still felt the need to repent for being inadequate to save my child. I understood the Mormon steps of repentance to be centered on things that I can change – How can one repent of a condition that will likely endure for the rest of his life?
I was attending a local Baptist church and the worship music spoke to my heart. I came forward to the altar and prayed that I might be forgiven of my inadequacy and that God/Jesus would come into my life and guide me forward – help me to be there for my family even when I don’t have all that they need. I felt something wonderful. I see this as God having mercy upon me for my weaknesses, giving me grace to know that I am loved and acceptable, and saving me from my despair and self-incrimination. I spoke to the pastor (a wonderful, elderly, and experienced man with LDS family) and he told me, “You can be Mormon and Saved, but it won’t be the Mormonism that saves you.”
So I see myself as both “saved” and Mormon.
More recently I’ve been attending a Seventh-day Adventist seminar on the last days. It has been interesting to see their interpretation of the prophecies. (Interesting that they interpret the beginning of the divine judgment {not to be confused with the reading of the divine verdict witch happens in the second coming} from Daniel’s prophecy in the OT to start in 1844. I’ll give you three guesses who was killed in 1844. Could it be….JS? Coincidence?
:think: ) I guess, my analysis is that if you are unhappy with the Catholic and mainline protestant churches for general apostasy claims then there are alternatives. If the concept of restored divine authority (Priesthood) is big for you then you may be happy in the LDS church. If the concept of following the original (and never divinely altered) Sabbath is your thing then you may be happy in the SDA church. If you feel that the use of God’s name is important and that it was improperly removed from early bible translations then you may be happy as a Jehovah’s Witness. But I’m not sure that there is any one church or version that could encapsulate all of God’s kingdom, all of His Gospel.All churches have good points to be made and I’m sure God’s spirit can be felt in various manifestations through all of them. On the other hand, none of these churches does everything or everything equally well. So, in summary, I have developed a personal relationship with my Savior and Redeemer. I came to that relationship through my own unique path and with the help of many good people of various faiths. I trust in my loving Father for my eternal destiny as I strive to do my best (recognizing that even if I could achieve my best 100% of the time, it would still always be inadequate). I like to see and experience others depictions and expressions of the divine through music and art and the spoken word AND I’m a Mormon.
That may not work for you. I can’t be certain that it will always work for me. But as long as we are sharing this road, let us help each other and glorify God together.
1) Everyone is supposed to be “born again” spiritually (to become a new creature in Christ) – and God loves all his children – and Mormon theology teaches that nearly all have been saved through the Atonement of Christ (the only exception being those who know God on a personal level and say, in essence, “No thanks. I’m going to fight you.”) — so, yes, absolutely, I believe there are billions of people who have been saved without being LDS. 2) “We believe the Bible to be the word of God.” Yes, absolutely, I believe we can come to know about and know God through studying the Bible – and any other inspired words throughout history.
3) There are good people everywhere – and “where two or three are gathered in my name, there will I be in the midst of them” – so, yes, absolutely, I believe the Spirit can be felt and present in other settings outside the LDS Church.
In other words, I’m not surprised you are feeling what you are feeling. I am glad you are feeling it, since I believe it can open up for you the expansive nature of what I call “pure Mormonism” in a way that might be impossible otherwise. It doesn’t have to take you away from the LDS Church, unless the LDS Church simply quits working for you altogether. It might be able to have a wonderful influence in how you can help teach and serve others inside and outside the LDS Church in the future. I know my own recognition of what I wrote above has changed my own interactions within the Church and, I hope, made me a better friend to people regardless of their religious affiliation.
Where it all takes you is up to you, but my only “caution” is that I believe strongly it doesn’t have to push you out of the Church, in and of itself – especially since your new understanding is more consistent with what I believe to be the heart of pure Mormonism. It’s not easy at first, especially, but rather than seeing this as your testimony “falling apart”, try to see it as your testimony being “restructured” and growing. That puts more responsibility on you to be part of the restructuring, but that is how it should be, I believe. Make it what you want it to be, not what others have built for you in the past.
Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I wish I had more to say but mostly I just like to post my feelings here and get feedback on them. These words brought me comfort and peace. Testimonies fluctuate. They’re like plants, as the BoM says, they have to be fed and watered. Good experiences build them, bad ones flatten them. Quote:I’ve never really felt the Bible contained translation errors, but I do feel like the LDS doctrine adds a lot of stuff that fills in the gaps so to speak from the Bible.
The Bible definitely does. Some of the language is ambiguous in the Bible, and some of it doesn’t work well in English. however, the question is how much of what the LDS adds/interprets is correct. We get the thee/thou thing horribly wrong, as I’ve said before. “Thou” doesn’t mean respect, you wouldn’t have said that to your boss, it means familiarity like with a father or a good friend.
I DO take your point about marriage in heaven, it always troubled me. But it’s not a big issue.
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